Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy About to start school. Feeling ambivalent.

Hi,

Sorry, this is a bit long (I seem to save everything up and long posts - apologies!) I just felt I had to vent. DD5 starts her first year of school later this week and I am feeling a bit ambivalent about it all. I felt, before the end of the year, that things were looking pretty good. DD is skipping kindergarten and going straight in to a composite grade 1/2 class. She'd spent a couple of weeks in kindergarten at the school at the end of last year and loved it. The school had no concerns about her being skipped.

But over the holiday period dd has had a massive developmental spurt. While pre-holidays she was reading at a grade 3-4 level, she rarely read, and wasn't that interested academically. She was doing high 1st, early 2nd grade maths between 3 and 4 yo, but lost interest and just wanted to play for the last year or so, which we had no issue with - figuring her interest would come back some time. And it did. These last few weeks she has been overtaken with a need for information and challenge. She's suddenly reading comfortably at a grade 5 level, she's picked up her maths and puzzle work books for 9yos and started working with little input needed for me. She has become fascinated with science. When she hasn't been doing these things, she has just wanted me to read great books to her (fiction books a couple of years above those she is reading comfortably). This is with almost no input from me (other than making sure she has access to appropriate books, to equipment and more dexterous hands for her science experiments and so on). Goodness knows what she could pick up if she were being taught at her level. Her SB5 scores are <99.9%.

Where as only a few weeks ago I thought we had found a good fit, now I guess I look at all of this as a package and wonder how on earth she is going to survive at school. The school is very positive about trying to accommodate her, but they have realistic concerns about whether or not they will be able to. She is great socially, and has always been able to get along with kids from a range of ages. But I wonder how on earth they are going to accommodate her, with all their good intentions. And I worry about how she will fair emotionally with the new found empathy and awareness of the not so great things in the world that has come with this rage to learn.

Home schooling is not an option for us at the moment. Part of me thinks, 'well perhaps this a grade 1/2 class is a good place to start' - that it will be an easy enough transition, that she will have an equivalent of the school start a smart ND kid might have going in to kindergarten. Part of me worries that the switch has just been turned on and it might just as quickly be switched off.

Anyway, I don't really have any questions - but if you do have any stories of PG kids being ok at school and what worked for you, I'd happily hear them!

Thanks for listening.

I'd talk with the teacher on or, preferably, before the first day, and bring in samples of what your child is working on at home, and ask if she can have similar work during at least a portion of the class time. For example, if the class is going over basic reading instruction, which your child clearly doesn't need, could your child have an advanced reading assignment to work on during that time, or a pullout to another classroom? Likewise, could your child have a math folder with advanced assignments that she does at the same time the rest of the class is practicing addition and subtraction? You might even want to volunteer to send these materials in, if the teacher seems to be overwhelmed by the request to differentiate.

All of that said, the teacher might smile and nod and agree and you still might not have anything like what you hope for materialize. Be prepared for a struggle if it happens, but don't go in assuming there will be a fight. But I agree that it is essential that you feed the fire while it is still burning.

Exactly - bring in the 'physical evidence' and a booklist (book report writing if possible - in her own handwriting is best) and ask for subject accelerations.

In the long run, a family can only do what it can do. You are alert and aware and caring - that has to count for something!

Best Wishes,
Grinity

SBV should have read >99.9%... (well, non-verbal anyway) Oops

Thanks for your responses. I have given the school samples of her work, though I don't know if they have made it to the teacher (though I know she has been briefed by the very supprotive principal). I will definitely organize a time to show her some more recent stuff and discuss some of your suggestions.

Sigh... Was speaking to a friend who knows about dd yesterday. Her well meaning response to my concern that the school might struggle to meet dd's needs was 'well, that's their problem, they'll just have to'. If only it were that simple!

It's great to have innocent and supportive friends! Great for a giggle!

You should remember that the whole thing is a work in progress (and it would be true if you were HSing as well).

I agree that you should let your daughter settle in, but keep a keen eye on the work level. One thing that is nice with the 1/2 classroom is that she will have friends in 2nd grade that she can move on with. That would give her a 2 year acceleration, and then you could work with the school for additional subject acceleration. Every kid is different, but that seems to have worked pretty well for several PG kids here and others I have met locally. The fact the principal even appears supportive is a good thing.