Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Gifted 2.75 year old exhausting his mother - help!

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I admit it, mine wore me out. Finally I got him signed up on www.time4learning.com and let him go. I realize that plugging your child into the computer isn't the same a mommy time, but my sanity demanded some down time!

Hi! My 2.75 year old is very similar, and I agree...it's exhausting! He's examining my teeth (and the computer, my feet, etc) with a magnifying lens while I try to type, and he just doesn't stop! Plus he talks talks talks all.day.long.

Mine usually doesn't want to play alone and is extremely social, so between his needs and homeschooling our 6 year old, we're on the road constantly. Both boys love friends and outside activities, so we do a lot of "classes" and field trips. DS2 is currently in a large co-op once a week, where he's been invited into the 4s classes (learning spanish for one hour, a fun "fruits of the holy spirit" class for the second), and we do a 4 year old music class, playgroup, etc. We've looked into Montessori and Spanish Immersion, but our schedule is pretty booked right now.

I've also started working with other friends w/ bright 3-4 year olds to start our own preschool co-op next year. I have read a lot of research that kids like ours are generally happier taking general preschool themes and exploring them more deeply/thoroughly than missing out and jumping over this. So, instead of more phonics, etc (mine is early reading too and doing K math), our plan is to: 1) spend a lot of time on science and art exploration activities; 2) fully explore a theme each month (ie space) and conclude with a hands-on field trip; and
continue music (we also dabble in Mom-led piano lessons). At home, I also bring out the math/books/handwriting when DS6 is studying, usually in the form of lapbooks that DS2 can make. He LOVES readingegss.com, so that's the one site I let him play on.

I'm a big believer in natural exploration instead of workbooks or "hothousing" w/ flashcards etc., and I'd much rather have my children explore side-interests than work solely on core curriculum. DS6 continues to rapidly accelerate and is now at least a 4th grade curriculum, and it becomes a big challenge socially when they start getting further and further ahead. DS participates in many of the things his brother does, but in a very informal whenever-he-wants kind of way.

As far as the energy, I've also found that it helps to let him run. I try to send him outside whenever we can, and he has the trampoline, horse, etc that he's always on in the house. Ours is athletic, too, so as the weather warms up and he turns 3, he's going to love the peewee soccer, t-ball, etc!

I'm so glad to find others the same age as my little one! We've tended to focus on the academic needs of my older, but now that DS2 seems to be following in his footsteps, it's time to start including him in our connections and research!

Both of my daughters (4.5 and 26 months) are exactly as you describe and they are demanding. I'm completely exhausted and have recently lost 5 pounds from all of the stress!

I hope it gets easier but I'm still waiting for that to happen!!

It gets better. I promise. I promise. I promise. My now 5.75 year old used to run me ragged. The questions. The need for constant interaction and stimulation. The meltdowns because she wanted to do something that she was not physically ready to do.

Hang in there. Remember that the days are long but the years are short. Call in reinforcements as needed. A grandparent. A babysitter. An aunt or uncle. Anyone who has an hour or so to give. Your little ones life will be richer for the time spent and you will have some small breaks!

I don't know if you want to try to start to wean him from the 24/7 attention, especially if he might be going to pre-school next year. I've read that there are so many very good reasons a kid needs to go to preschool at that age, for the Mamma, lol. Just kidding.
What I've read that resonated with me was that baby's should have your undivided attention. No judgement here against the cry it out crowd. I read and loved the idea that a helpless baby would never have to worry where all the adults were. Somehow, by the time they're kid's they should be able to go find something to do, i'm busy. I'll be there directly. Then when you do give them your attention it should be a block of undivided attention. Well I'm in an impossible situation where this can not happen naturally. I feel , I wish , I'm not giving DD the quality mothering I gave Ds at her age. It was all about him. It can never be all about her. And at three, he's really still a baby. He needs attention too.
I'm using something from the flylady experiment thread called the 15 minute timer. "I can do anything for 15 minutes.". Well I don't really timer it. But it keeps me from appearing too wrapped up in an activity. Appearances matter a lot at this age when they're super observant. And the rhythm seems to help ds understand that I'm going to do other things. I'm not willing or able to drop what I'm doing everytime to go see what he's doing. I'll stop long enough to look up from what I'm doing to see what he wants and answer, adding that i'm busy and I won't stop what I'm doing. I want everything just to flow naturally, but it wasn't really flowing naturally and without effort once the boy, the baby, and the hubby all started wanting something from me at the same time. And usually while I'm busy trying to accomplish something. It's always a balance between high needs, my needs, the whole family. And then the hubby, the hardworking, involved hubby. He says he's part of the family and he wants my attention too. Lol, I clearly remember telling him a long time ago, "nothing's hard for a person like me. I break any problem down to the simplest elements. I enjoy working hard, although it rarely seems like hard work because I'm fit enough to have a lot of energy.". (st***id, st***id, st***id). He got me.

Just remembered something that saved my sanity. Books with CDs. I could put one in for dd and get a 15 minute break!

Me too! one of the best things about this!

And yes, at that age, my son EXHAUSTED me. Still does, but now, at 4.5, I have more options for dealing with it, and that helps.

Hang in there.

twos were very exhausting, but the threes were the worst. Four has been a bit better, but the intensity is still HIGH. My DD is 4.5 and I am still in that exhausted state (I stay at home with two girls full time). My DD4 was and is the exact same way. She is an extreme extrovert, and while I have my share of extroverted traits, I need time alone and in silence to rejuvenate and my intense, loud, active, wild children make finding that solitude very difficult. My other daughter will be turning three in a month and while people are constantly commenting on how smart and advanced she is, she is not doing the sort of things her older sister was at this age, but it is clear she has her own sort of smarts. I have no advice. I can't wear my children out and the more stimulating activities they have the faster their little motors go. My oldest calms and quiets a bit with books, good movies, drawing, and Playdough. Other than that, she talks constantly and quickly, dances, runs, bounces all over, and her little sister is right behind her.

Agree completely with twinkletoes; we didn't have a moment's peace until about 3.5, with both of these guys. Completely undivided attention might be possible for a child with no siblings, but I just don't think it is 'normal' for a baby/toddler to have that most of the time; I mean throughout the history of humans, this has not been the case, right?

annette
When you can get outside, absolutely let him take advantage of this (for more than an hour!). Plenty of plant science out there too.