Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion The birds and the bees - at what age to explain

DD 4: "So if I have your blood in me and daddy's blood in me, how did I get daddy's blood? I grew inside you..."

Me: "Well... it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. (Long pause.) The woman has the egg, which becomes an embryo only with fertilizer from the man." DD knows about eggs and embryos. More questions.

Me: (Total cop out) "Usually the man and the woman kiss and wrestle in bed and fertilization happens."

A lot more questions so I change the subject.

Can I just tell her? lol

when my son started asking questions, someone said to me "He just wants to know it's not going to happen to him." (ie he won't get pregnant) And that made sense, so I told him something like it only happened with grown ups and something about deciding to have a baby... maybe not entirely accurate, but it worked for us.

Maybe it is something like that she wanted to know, not so much 'the details'?

My grandmother gave me the best advice ever about this subject. (DS had a teacher who was pregnant and wanted to know how she got a baby in her tummy if she didn't eat it.) Start out with the very basics. When they get freaked out, they'll stop asking questions. Don't give them any more information than they ask for, and they'll make it clear when they have had enough.

I would just tell her. It's better than her getting the wrong idea when "WWF Smackdown" comes on the telly.

My girls are 6 years old and they know that it takes a women's egg and a mans sperm and that the man must put the sperm inside the woman to make the woman's egg turn into a baby (they just havent asked how the man puts the sperm inside and I haven't offered that either). They have also read non fiction titles about animals breeding on the farm and they understand the rams must be put into the paddock with the ewes every year so that they can get them pregnant but once again they have no asked exactly how the rams sperm is put together with the ewes egg and I haven't offered.

I have used this book with k aged kids before:
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork..._1?ie=UTF8&qid=1295669996&sr=8-1

Here's another one:
http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Big-Secret-Talking-about/dp/0316101834/ref=pd_sim_b_4

They both seem to answer a lot of younger child questions factually without getting into too much detail. We use these books in our church Sunday school for an 1st grade class. Kids seem to like them and we have chatted about the first one on this site before.

A more detailed and mature book in the same series as the first one is:
http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b

I had to explain menses to a 4 or 5 year old because she wanted to know what that "stuff" was. And we talked about mating rituals in species and humans have them too and you learn them when you get older, just like you learn to write instead of print.

What concerns me is old that is. A mother recently told me about her 7.5 year old developing. Puberty can start really early these days. I cannot imagine being a 7 year old and dealing with hormonal changes or an 8 or 9 year old and dealing with menses.

Ren

Ren

I think that is an important distinction. Give the facts of how the body operates. Teach them that some parts of their bodies are private. Hold off on the emotional aspect until they are older, but let them know there will be further discussions as they mature.

When our guinea pigs had babies (they were both supposed to be boys)my son took it upon himself to pull a medical book off the shelf and get an education.

I then got to sit through an hour long dissertation on how the whole process works and that consideration should be given to changing "Zeke"s name to Zelda, as he is obviously not a he!

Ds3 saw the before and after of DD3m being born, including the the umbical cord still attached to her bellybutton. �I can imagine what he's going to tell someone in school some day. �I told him, "mamma's going to make a baby in the bathtub in the doctors office". And he saw it was true.
When I changed the baby's first diaper his eyes got very big and his jaw dropped. �He asked me, "where's his pe-pe?". We talked about a he and a she. �He's still not really convinced. �He's told me recently, "but she has hair like mine and she only has nipples.". To protect my daughter's self-esteem I told her, in front of her brother, "don't worry baby. �You'll get long hair and boo-bees when you get very big like Mamma. �All babys have short hair and nipples.".�
I don't know about my own self esteem. �He told me recently thay my belly was big. �Then he told me I have another baby in there. �He asked me could he get it out because it was very big, bigger than his sister. �All I did was give him worser and worser looks at everything he said. �I was speechless.

I have two beautiful links to very detailed birth sites, one has the most up close detailed delivery pictures and the other is a video of a waterbirth. � �I showed my kid these choice pics. �He looked kind of twice at the pictures and said, that's not the bellybutton.,? �It wasn't worded in the form of a quiestion. �I didn't answer. �Now he's doubtful of his observation and thinks maybe it really was the bellybutton. �He's only sure it came out of Mamma. I had originally planned to have the hubby and ds in the room with me but the labor was too hard this time and I needed peace.�He's not pressing me for an answer and I really think I've let him know more than most parents, even though we've never hinted at how they got there and I shamelessly censor on that part. �

About intimacy he recently asked me to "touch tongues". �I told him, "We don't do that with friends and family. �When you get very big and have a girlfriend that's when you do it." �Guess mamma's been watching too many chick-flicks at the house. �Oops. �In my defense, he might have seen teenagers at the mall.