Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Why music practice is the battleground

It is worth noting music isn't alone as many parents and kids fight quite a lot over homework too. I've heard from many parents they fought quite a lot about homework, but very little over actually homeschooling. I suspect the difference is that the kids are more tired in the evening when they are doing homework and also parents have control to modify assignments that don't work for the kid for whatever reason.

I'd say there are lots of reasons why music is the battleground for many though.

1. It is expensive so parents feel stressed if kids don't take it seriously.

2. Many parents have unrealistic expectations expecting music to give their kids discipline, work ethic, etc. I've often heard it suggested on gifted boards for what essentially amounts to a substitute for a good academic fit.

I would suggest he raise this issue with his teacher and make a plan for how to deal with it if this situation arises. If he or she would prefer he doesn't play the newest piece he should certainly have a repertoire of earlier pieces or scales that he could practice to keep up his muscle memory.

My personal take is that part of the process of learning is that yes, sometimes you learn something wrong. Just like many of our early readers ended up mispronouncing all sorts of words over time that corrects itself.

Absolutely. But other people don't tend to question (or judge) parents for having battles over homework. Homework is required (by most schools). Music lessons are not.

I don't see music lessons as a substitute for a good academic fit, but if your child has a poor academic fit, it makes those rare activities that actually challenge them that much more essential.

I have done the battles with oldest and am still in the battles with youngest. What I have learned is that some of the fight is related to maturity and some to drive.
My son did well but was too immature at the beginning and lacked drive. Now he is older (12yr/6th grade) and in middle school. The drive to compete with classmates in band and orchestra has started. He wants to do well and now there are no fights to make him practice and do his best. He plays violin (first chair), trumpet, and recently started the electric guitar.

My daughter, 9yr/4th grade, plays piano, violin, and flute. She has not hit the competition phase yet at school, however, she is more mature in some ways then he was at her age and a perfectionist. While she fights me to begin practice each night, once she starts what drives her is her own need play perfectly.

Just in case you are wondering...our school district provides weekly group lessons in a string and/or wind instrument. We pay privately for our children to take private lessons in 1 instrument of their choice. My son took private violin lessons for 3 yrs and has chosen to switch to electric guitar recently. My daughter started private piano lessons 2.5 yrs ago.

Perhaps his teacher could give him a recording of it so that he can hear it and know if he is practicing it wrong?