Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums GT Research What do you know about gifted childern?

Hello there and thank you for your time in responding to my post. To give you the short version I am a mom who has been searching for answers for 4 years. My son, who is now 7, has been a challenge to raise. Moody to be polite. To the point a dr even prescribed him antidepressants.The end of last school year his teacher thought he needed special needs classes. The begining of this school year his teacher says he is a few levels above his grade. last year aspergers was mentioned this year gifted. I am frustrated i want my child to be both challenged and supported in whatever gifts/challenges he faces. I just dont know what that is and noone around him seems to know either. Although his IQ has not been tested yet, his intelligence is apparent. Could you all please help me out but highlighting your observatation of gifted kids both the positive and negative or point me in a direction I can obtain this information?

In my opinion, there is no one size fits all. Even with two kids that have the same IQ. Some are introverted, some extroverted.

And I think that when I was new and reading posts, sometimes I built up expectations in certain areas, and I got confused because my child is different than what I read.

I also find things things that I don't read on this board, there are nuances, strategic thinking that are anecdotal but unusual and things as a parent I learn about about my child and must see she has her own path.

My child is extroverted and an only child, which means that she likes being at school because there are other kids. I do supplement horizontally and vertically. Vertically with math online, CTY. Horizontally she takes piano, goes to Mandarin (she has spanish and chess as part of her school -- grade 1), science program at the museum, ballet and gymnastics. She also takes swimming tennis in the summer. We also travel alot -- she is 6 and has been to 11 countries. She goes skiing and horse back riding. She is a child that like activity and constantly asks questions. I got her a globe so when a question comes up about a country we can see where it is, she has a child dictionary to look up words. She is very curious and I try to provide tools for her to satisfy the curiousity.

She also enjoys reading and she goes to the library to find her own books. She likes science experiments and her father has done those with her since was 3.

This is what my child needs. And I could see her being more than "moody" without the stimulation. I also watch what she eats. Not that she doesn't ever get KitKats or M&Ms but her personality changes and she cannot do anything with her brain after treats like that.

I rambled but I hope my post provides you with a perspective on your question.

Ren

She loves

3D mom,
I am coming from this perspective: my DS8 is both gifted and has Asperger's. It's perfectly possible to have two or more things going on with the same child, which may be why you are getting confusing explanations.

I would say that you should have your child evaluated by a professional, so you can figure out what's going on in his particular case. A neuropsychologist or developmental pediatrician would be a good place to start.

I'm not going to recapitulate all my recent posts on this here, but if you search my posts, you will find a lot on this topic.

Best wishes,
DeeDee

Hi and welcome 3DMom. That sounds like you may be just at the very beginning of this journey, so I'm answering as if this is the case.

First, you should be congratulated for continuing to look for answers for your son. He is luck to have such a determined mom. Second, you should know that giftedness is something that is misunderstood an awful lot by people who *should* be experts (such as teachers, and other school personnel) especially if it is 'out there' intelligence and not just enough to do well answering questions at school.

A great place to start with LOTS of articles about giftedness and gifted children is Hoagies ( http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ ) especially the gifted 101 ( http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm ) After reading there and looking around a bit you may find that you have a better idea of what you are dealing with. For me the shock of recognition was amazing!

If you take a look around this forum, as I'm sure you are, you will see plenty of stories of children who are both gifted and facing other challenges. Alternatively, there are a lot of stories about just 'plain gifted' children who were presenting with behavior that looked a bit like Aspergers whatever that were actually a perfectly 'normal' response to a completely inappropriate educational environment, and the 'problem' went away when the environment was fixed. I wish I could tell you which category your son falls into! I have heard many on this forum and others recommend a book called something like "Misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted children" or something like that (please help me out someone!?!) but I haven't read it myself. It is supposed to help tease out these issues.

I haven't had my children tested. We are not in the school system so I don't really need to at this stage, but if you are in the system and are fighting for an appropriate education for your son, that might be something to consider. It may give you the information you need at this point. Others may be able to give more specific information about that, or you might find some on the forum.

I hope some of this is of some assistance to you.

FWIW, with all the challenges and extra stress having gifted children - or adults - brings to my life, I wouldn't trade it's richness and thrills for anything else!

(Will someone please remind me of that next time I'm here to gripe! LOL)

GeoMamma ... all great advice. The book you reference is "Misdiagnosis And Dual Diagnoses Of Gifted Children And Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, Depression, And Other Disorders" by James T. Webb.

The idea of a gifted child having other obstacles is classified under 2E (Twice Exceptional). You should be able to do a search with that and gifted and come up with some information. And as GeoMamma stated, the professionals SHOULD understand this but many see it as two extremes and never think there could be a connection.

Anyway, welcome to the board. You have found a great place with some wonderful knowledgeable people who are here for each other. I hope you find this to be the case.

Thanks Katelyn'sMom, I knew someone would know it better than I did

I wish I could rememeber where I read this quote....

"Being gifted is not a gift"

3DMom,

I assume your child is in 2nd grade? Is he in public school? Just curious. Anyway, I'm a gifted teacher. I service students from grades k-2. I don't blame you for being confused on what to think about your son with so many different ideas being thrown at you. I do want to tell you that a regular education teacher has no idea of what a gifted student looks like. I do many observations and assessments of k-2 students and when I point out a student to a teacher, sometimes they will say to me "Oh, he's not gifted, he has behavior problems", or he is too "quirky" to be gifted, or "he never does his work, he can't be gifted." I could go on...my point is, that most gifted students are quirky, have behavior issues, don't do their work, and/or get bad grades. It's not the acievment that gifted teachers look for, it's the child's perspective on things. Not how well they can add, subtract, multilply or divide. We don't even consider that (unless the child is in kindergarten and able to do calculus). Gifted teachers look at how a child learns. Gifted students are "gifted" because the learn in a different way, they see the world in a different way, they process information in a different way.

I don't want to ramble (too late!!) but I wanted to comment on your post because there are so many misconceptions from teachers, I just wanted to make you aware of that. Please ask away if you want to know more.

I needed this - I'm often worrying that I've misunderstood, because my children aren't doing calculus. But they do seem to think differently to other children.

My DS has worn all of the labels. Autism at 2, aspergers at 3 blah, blah, blah.....

Now at 8 he's just plain amazing. I would suggest that you start with educating yourself on www.hoagies.com as someone else suggested. Look for things that resemble your child, then throw out those that don't. Paint yourself a picture, make a list, identify all the pieces that you are dealing with. Be sure to read the areas that discuss OE's (overexcitabilities)which is really common in GT kids. That would explain his moodiness. There has been several studies that indicate EQ mirrors IQ.I have first hand knowledge of that!

When you feel like you've got that, the next step IMO would be testing. There are several differrent ways to go about this. You can request it from the school and they may or may not comply. Private testing is an option but it can be pricey. It's also important to find a tester that understands GT. Many testers spend most of their time testing the opposite end of the spectrum and when confronted with a truly exceptional child, fail to present a clear picture. If you have a University near you, you may be able to have him tested there by a student. Make sure that on this road there is a knowledgeable proctor overseeing the test.

Neuropsych would help you with determining whether there is something such as Aspergers at play, but most insurance companies won't pay for testing unless you can prove overwhelming need.

The most important thing is to educate yourself. BELIEVE your "mommy gut". You know your child better than anyone. If the alarm bells are ringing, listen to them. Talk to your son. Ask him what he feels and thinks. Ask specific questions about school. Is it too easy? Ask him if given the chance what is the one thing he'd most like to learn? Then go out and find it! You would be surprised how much behavior changes when a child is truly engaged in their passion. Be flexible, let him lead and delight in every second!

Tes results in hand, questions answered in your head,you'll be in a much better position to determine what you're son needs.

Last but not least, enjoy the ride! These kids are not what any of us pictured during pregnancy, but damn are they fun!

If you have any more questions (and you will, thousands)we're always here. We've been there, we understand!

Good luck!