Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Ants-in-the pants, or should I be concerned?

Thanks again--appreciate your responses. I'm so thankful to have a forum like this. I find it difficult at times to talk to friends (maybe just close ones) w/out feeling like the obnoxious mom talking about her smart kid again.

All of your experiences/insights have really helped me to settle down a bit and not feel so stressed. My gut tells me there's nothing wrong w/him. I don't think there's anything to pathologize here (and will certainly check out the misdiagnosis book).

He says he likes the chair so, okay if it works for them and it works for him--who cares, let him sit in the chair!

I think your right mnmom about the tendency to pathologize something that might not be typical, but certainly is not abnormal (especially for kids like this).


A work in progress I guess...

I am of the belief that most of the time, if a kid is having trouble during circle time, the teacher needs to make a change to make it more interesting.

It is such a RELIEF to read your posts!!
I too have a DS3 who is in prek for the first time, his teacher shared that he needs constant redirection and isn't following directions. Stayed after to talk with her, and my LO is playing easily with her 5 yo son, and consistently following my 3-4 step commands. She was amazed at how different he was.
To me, I think my son is just overstimulated at school- new setting, 7 kids in class, new toys, new routine, busy place. Compared to our quiet home, play with me/adult, only child...etc. It is just a lot to take in.
That being said, my child is never still, seems psychomotor OE for sure, and is a joy to see in movement- physically very coordinated.
Hopefully he'll continue to improve his ability to sit, listen, and filter out the external stimuli that seem to be making it hard for him to attend/answer.

Do you happen to have a breakdown of the subsection scores? I'd be curious to know if they are sort of spikey or more even. Spikey subtests sometimes correlates with ADHD sorts of issues.

I'm of a slightly different mindset. Let's say your 4 year old is acting exactly like any other intense, bored 4 year old would in the given situation. Ok, so he's normal, but is it really such a good thing to leave him in that situation?

Take this quick 'Grinity Quiz:'
Does he like school?
Does he have friends?
Is he willing to try things that he might not be instantly good at?
What does he make of the differences between himself and his classmates?

If the above answers are generally positive, then you don't have to work too hard trying to find a different situation. If the answers are more negative then his antsy behavior might be a wake up call. With an IQ 152, one wouldn't nescessarily expect your son to get much out of preschool - think 'would I put my 6 year old in a room full of 3 year olds with an agenda pitched towards the 3 year olds?'Of course 2 hours a day 2 twice a week is a lot different than 5 hours a day 5 days a week.

My son was terrible during circle time all the way up into 2nd grade. Some teachers were great about it, so stigmatized him and turned the class against him. Perhaps DS would have been very distrustful by nature, but I don't think leaving him in classrooms that were so outlandish helped promote the idea that we adults really know what we are doing.

Just something to consider...
Grinity

Thanks for offering to take a look at his scores (I can't really make heads or tails of the breakdown). I'll include those in another post (can't get to them right now).

As for the rest, that's the weird part about it all--he likes it! We've thought about sending him elsewhere, but he's pretty happy there and seems to have many friends (despite the restless behavior). I have to say that the teachers are really trying to make it more challenging/interesting for him, but there's only so much they can do in a preschool.

The other part of it is that he's also very physical (at times) and gets in kids faces, dances around in the hallway, tugs at kids--it's all meant in a playful way (although I think it can be annoying to the other kids). I think it's a combination of not being challenged and also needing to mature a bit. On the other hand, like I mentioned before, he's completely fine in his science class--no goofy behavior, restlessness etc.

I can't believer teachers turned the class against your son--ugh...that's sounds awful! How is your son now?

Thanks for the thoughts! I appreciate it!

It turns out that the very next year my son got his best teacher ever - she totally 'got' him and he had ZERO behavior problems in her class. It was such a blessing. My son is 14 now and 6 feet tall, and totally delicious in public. In private he's a kid - amazingly caring and generous and insightful one minute and 'don't bother me, I'm playing my game' the next. He's in a great school situation (knock cyber wood) - but it was SO much work and worry to get thim this way - and so painful to watch him totally belive that 'there is something wrong with me' - I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Was there permanent damage? If I had a time machine, perhaps I could wipe out some of the cynicism, and high need for privacy - or delay it a few years. But now I'm starting to see it as his Karmic journey, so maybe not.

If your son likes school, has friends, AND is willing to try things that aren't instantly successful - then you can keep him there a bit more. I wouldn't let the teacher's off the hook because it's preschool as preschool is the easiest to differentiate. Sit down with them and brainstorm how to increase the challenge level.

Best Wishes,
Grinity