Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy how much to tell teachers

We have a PT conference scheduled for our DS13. His teachers don't know much about his academic activities outside of school or his test scores (individual testing, SAT) but they would have at least some background based on school testing and normal standardized tests.

In going into such a PT conference would you just listen to whatever feedback they are providing? Or would you reveal more of the things they don't see/have access to?

Thanks for any feedback!

Thanks (and I really hope he isn't giving a "snot nosed kid" impression but I hear you on that point)!

What I worry about is that because he is kind of an uneven performer, he won't get the opportunities to do the advanced classes that he really wants to do. He is perfectly capable of doing that work, but I think they base those kinds of decisions purely on what they see - meaning failing to turn in assignments or getting a lousy grade on a test makes it look as if he's a kid who can barely keep up with the work he is tasked with now. I guess we'll just sit back and see what their impression is and then decide how to go forward!

Thanks for the advice

For meetings, I carry with me lots of documentation in a bag. Sometimes, I don't need to pull out a single sheet of paper. Other times, I hand out copies to everyone at the table. It really depends on how the meeting is going and what you need to get from it (like the other posters noted).

I'm always prepared for the worst, but walk in expecting the best in my attitude! Nan

Here's some feedback - not sure if it applies to you, but it certianly applies to me - LOL!

Sometimes telling the scores will backfire with an inconsistient kid. Some of the old school teachers will act like 'you're a smart kid so you must not be trying' after they have seen the scores. My son got that in second grade even without scores, jsut from his vocabulary.

I would first listen (you can always schedule a 'next step' meeting. I would share that DS wants to get into the advanced classes. I would ask if DS's in school behavior/performance is in line with getting into these courses, and what DS would need to do to met her expectations.

Of course at age 13, it might be a conversation that DS would be better doing on his own, as a sign of maturity, but if you don't think that will fly - go ahead and do it yourself. Get specifics. Talk them over with DS13. You can discuss DS13's career ambitions or take him to a few college campuses to increase the motivation. My son started 9th grade with an interest in reading those big fat college rating books. I was a little desperate to move my son off of the 'I learn for the sake of learning' position and onto the 'OK, High School is time to play ball.'

((Johnny Dangerously is one of my favorite movies. If your son thinks that he should be above 'playing ball' he might get a giggle out of seeing this movie, and Danny DiVito's role.))

My son used the idea that as long as he was learning it didn't matter to kid himself into thinking that he was putting in a reasonable effort. Let's face it, the whole point of putting in a good effort is that every year what will be easy by the end of the year is really, really hard in the beginning. 'Growing' means that one has to do more than what one thought one could do.

My son is 14 now, and he is having a wonderful year. I sure hope that by next year your son will be having a wonderful year as well. We found age 13 to be 'challenging' in certian ways.

Love and More Love,
Grinity