Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Worried about my son

Adult males can be found in a lot of places.

When I was his age I was pretty much independent. I went to lit club meetings, computer club meetings, astronomy club meetings, rifle club, etc on my own. I found a great mentor when I was 14 in computers.

You might be able to channel an interest of his??

Martial Arts is good, but most do not give you the underlying physical fitness. Most are not design to win a real fight. Krav is the best, but, the adult male presence will be there in any case.

[color:#000099]Homeschooling is a tremendous option that can be just as rigorous or even more rigorous than public or private school. There are tons of resources out there to put together an easy to use curriculum. I recommend finding out the laws in your country pertaining to homeschooling and then checking out the following web site:
http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/inde[/color]x.php


If you look under the highschool and accelerated learner forums, then you will find a wealth of information I would also see if there are other homeschoolers in your country as well and see if universities have accepted homeschoolers as they do in the US. To me homeschooling is a great option for all kids

Gosh thats painful. I was one of those kids, I was bullied from 1st grade on through high school. Every day started with anxiety waking up just thinking about going to school. I remember vividly telling my mother that I was a 2nd class citizen, definatly below anyone else living. I really believed it to be true, and was floored when she told me otherwise.

I think people who are bullied start to believe that its their fault its happening to them. Somehow they *obviously* brought it on themselves because of course, why else would they be singled out of the crowd.

The greatest thing of course being psychological counceling. Help him open up and find coping skills.

Inside the environment, I would think the best thing to prevent further bullying, would be hanging around other friends. A child is less likely to be singled out if they are with others.

Also, if this were my child, I would press charges. Teens are capable of anything and some parents cannot be counted on to teach them accountability for their actions.

Classicsmoms,
I've done some research on homeschooling here in Norway and it seems to be a nascent phenomenon which is catching on pretty rapidly. If we do decide to homeschool him, the social authorities will sometimes conduct random checks to see if the education is up to par and the school board will provide study material etc. It's definitely an option that I'm increasingly leaning in favour of.

MegMeg,
The society itself is pretty intolerant about bullying. It's considered to be a really low thing to do and people tend to get very angry if their kids are bullied. The thing is that this causes schools to get defensive and stop being open about what's going on. Incidents of serious and extensive bullying tend to result in suing fests, where the parent/community demands the head of everyone from the teachers to the school board and national government administrators. So schools like to keep things under wraps.

TMI Grandma,
The health service has been very supportive and they've set up an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow (Sunday). I'm hopeful that it would benefit him, talking to a professional. I was thinking of making him join some sort of self defence class too. He hasn't expressed much interest but I'll try and get him into it.
Grinity,
Yes that's what I'm hoping for. There's nothing like long ride on the Autobahn to make someone open up. Definitely heading to Bergen next week. It might even be fun! Lol

Austin,
I wish he was that independent! He's interested in a lot of things but he never wanted to join a club. He's always been a bit of a loner and an introvert and right now he's much more so than ever. I'll definitely try and encourage him to join something though.

Adrienne,
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's such a shame that some people take it upon themselves to make others feel worthless. I think he might be suffering from a guilt complex too but I'm also pretty sure that the bullying hasn't stopped.

Last week, I saw the words "Jeg er en h�lvetes faen" written on his schol bag. It literally means "I am a hellish devil", except that h�lvetes faen ("hellish devil") is just about the nastiest word you can come up with in the Norsk language.

It was faded, so obviously, someone tried to erase it. When I asked my son about it, he said it was just the school prankster and it was nothing serious. As a mother, it was sort of obvious to me that he wasn't being truthful. But even if it was just the prankster, I still thought it was very serious and duly called up the principal who said that he'd "look into it".
So I've stopped sending him to school for the moment and I'm looking into homeschooling as an alternative.

La Texican

I have to see if I posted that bit - but basically little'un was moved to another class as we told the school what we had been advised that the relationship between the bully and liitle'un was 'extremely toxic' and could cause DS long-term emotional and psychological harm.
As DS didn't want to leave the school - in fact he loves it - we insisted he be moved to another class, which they agreed to. Of course once this happened all questions arise from the parents of kids in both classes. We got great support, many saying the the kid who had harmed our boy had bullied their sons too, and nothing had been done. Showed the head and teacher had not only been lying and negigent in our son's case, but other boys ahfd been left out to dry too. It was during a conversation with one of the mums that it came out that she had seen what was going on and had tackled the teacher - the teacher who said in a meeting that there was no bullying of our boy!

Disgraceful!

I'm just happy for you that you can take your son out of school for a while. He has been in a tough spot. Hugs to you.

DS says
"just get him out!"

Go talwar.natasha for trusting your 'Mom-Gut' and reporting the writing. ((hugs))

I was just saying to Mrs raddy this morning that most of the upset and arguments at home (well, our home) arise from incidents at school from both pupils and staff.
I think the only reason I am keeping him in "the system" is because I am at home most of the time and I think DS needs structure - at least time wise - in his life. God knows with the things that have happened I would gladly have him home apart from this issue

There are homeschool groups and classes during the day. If your child needs structure it can be created from home.