Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments what does your HS day look like, mine is crazy

This reminds me of another point! It is the stuff my kids do and research on their own during their off hours that I really find amazing. We can't completely go the unschool route either. But as long as we're reading, writing, doing math I find the kids learn a ton just by exploring on their own and have some good read alouds going that we discuss through the day. I'm sure a real "unschooler" would not consider us anywhere near their philosophy. But I love that my kids have time to dig around in their own interests.

We are 'structured unschoolers' LOL! We are using some curriculum on an ad hoc when-we-feel-like-it basis. We have a routine, my children - and I - seem to do better with one. We found if I just did interest led, my children got bored and started destroying the house, it wasn't 'enough' So now I introduce things in the morning, but allow plenty of time to do anything they like.

In regards to the OP, if your 6 yo can concentrate for an hour on something she is interested in, it is unlikely that she has ADHD. Most children with ADHD can't concentrate even when they want to.

Thank you all so much for your responses. It's 1 am and I really should be in bed, but I want to reply, hopefully it will make some sense.



I absolutely need to end earlier, I can't keep this up. I am beyond cranky, however, this crazy schedule works best for DD. We need to strike a balance. As for the socialization end of things, she's involved in many activities during the week. On those days we do quit earlier. As for the homeschooling community, there really isn't one here. I do know of a couple of other families and I am always happy to connect with them. She generally has a very social weekend as well.

Learning Mom - I will check out the Well Trained Mind Accelerated Forum. Thanks.


First was JK in public school, then HS using some 'packaged curriculum', then de/unschooling, then very wholehearted attempt at Montessori HS, then unschooling again and now we are just 'eclectic' and I'm exhausted. I have tried starting earlier in the morning hoping to have a more normal day. I am going to try cutting down the formal 'school work' time, but I suspect that it really won't change much. DD is very asynchronous emotionally and academically. She is also the most strong willed person that I have ever met.

LMom - I think that you are living my ideal HS day:). This is my 2nd year, believe it or not my current situation is considerable better than last year!

La Texican - I've never tried intensely focused on single subjects. This would work for the subjects DD likes, but she would never agree to a heavy math week. However, I think that I definitely need to be more flexible and open to letting go of 'my schedule'.



I agree, there are many things that DD completely refuses and I am getting much better at just letting go for a while, handwriting is the battle that I've opted out of. Math, well that's the one that I picked - but I do try to incorporate jumping on the bed during math whenever possible.


I'm not entirely sure that DD has ADHD but ALL the signs are there. To name a few... She needs to be prompted to return to her work as I sit next to her. Essentially I pretend to be a student much of the time, often working on the same activity keeping her engaged with questions and comments. She is constantly rocking or swinging her legs, she loses everything. She is also extremely inattentive and completely spaces out for long periods of time. She doesn't hear people when they talk to her. She has a lot of anxiety and I know that that this can look like ADHD, most likely, I think that it is a combination of things, giftedness being only a piece of the puzzle. Whatever is going on, it is intense.

Kimck - I like the 'bare bones basic plan' I think that this makes tons of sense.

GreenGully - All that I can say is that I wish 'unschooling' could work for us. I always love reading the 'unschoolers' posts on this forum. Thanks so much for your reply.

Overall, your responses have been very helpful, in such different ways. I don't know what I would do without this forum

A.

What about putting your child more incharge of his learning. Have him make or pick out a jounal for homeschooling. This ia also a wonderful way for them to see their progress. Then each day he writes at least a minimium of goals within a framework you two decide on together. If you go to a museum for the day attach the brochure or stickers or bring the journal to sketch.
How about a talk together about what he needs in his school plus what he would like. Maybe he wants to have a field trip once a week.

List of subjects daily and Someflexible goals

1 Math= work on addition facts, Play a math game on the computer

2 Reading - he picks the story read for X mins.

3 Writing- he pick the type of writing, a poem, thoughts on the reading, make own book,

4 Gym- go for a walk in the woods and find 10 different leaves.

5 Science - identify leaves in a book

6 Art - make a wreath with the leaves to hang on the front door.

7 something with Mom - play a game, or cook something(math here too)

Thanks for replying OTGM,

If my DD was any more in charge of her learning we would be unschooling, which I've tried, but she really does need some structure (and so do I). She chooses all of her activities, all of her reading material, etc. I generally insist upon 2 subjects (math, language arts daily). The other subjects, the order and time of day to do her work is entirely her choice. The minimum amount of time per subject is my choice. Right now I'm only aiming for 2 hours a day + independent reading. Based on the some of the comments I thought that I would try to 'cut back' on the time for schooly things and, it is worse, not better. Today she finished at 9 pm.

She outright refuses to do a daily journal. The only type of writing she will do is creative writing, and so that is what she does. As for math, she has tons to choose from, from a complete set of Montessori math materials, workbooks and various other concrete materials. She doesn't really seem to like computer math games, although that is always an option for her. She truly hates math, despite the fact that she does have strong math skills. I'm not sure how to make math any more enticing, TBH. She also hates cooking, so that rules out sneaking anything in the backdoor. She's even had lengthy 'math breaks', but that hasn't changed anything.

At the same time I can't add more structure because that would only end in meltdowns. As ridiculous as our school day is, she is much happier this way. Last year I did attempt doing school work in a much more normal 'daylight' kind of way and she was constantly upset, dishing out 2 or more tantrums per day. So, our current set up is technically better. I think that it is a maturity level in part, maybe she's just not ready, despite her ability? She also is intensely controlling, so that is a factor too. I often look in the ROOM that houses all of our educational stuff and think, I wish I had this when I was a kid.

Sorry that this post turned into a ramble/vent, but I think that this as coherent as I can be right now

Given her age, I assume that you mean that she hates arithmetic. Is that right? Have you tried giving her some real mathematics (algebra, puzzles, brain teasers, etc.)? I wouldn't really worry about arithmetic for a bright, capable child. (But then, I am an unschooler, FWIW.)

First, I share no5no5's wondering whether it's actually arithmetic your DD hates, or what. Nobody could possibly actually hate maths so there must be some mistake here :-) Maybe separate this issue out from the timetabling issue and start a new thread about how she feels about maths and what she's been exposed to?

About the timetabling: I'm trying to understand what the root issues are here. It sounds as though the main thing that's not working is that her choice of schedule leads to you having to be "on" and fully engaged with her for too much of the day, is that right? And maybe also there's the meta-issue that you feel she is manipulating and controlling the rest of the family more than should be accepted, but aren't sure how to stop this? I haven't heard that you feel she isn't learning enough anyway, is that right? So if you changed your system to address the first two concerns, and there was a period during which she learned less as she got used to the new system, that wouldn't be a disaster?

I think if I were you I might concentrate on separating my responsibilities from hers. E.g. it's her responsibility to do enough work to keep learning in all areas, on average over some length of time. It's your responsibility to (a) make resources such as your own attention available to her enough that it's possible for her to do the work she needs to do (b) ultimately, make sure that she is learning. It isn't your responsibility to be available to her in exactly the way and at exactly the moments she chooses. And you're the adult: in the end, if she isn't willing and able to do her part in homeschooling, you have the option of putting her in school, and there'd be no harm in her knowing that homeschooling is only what happens if it works for everyone.

I think I'd have a Serious Talk about responsibilities, and then make some limited commitment to be available, e.g., between 9 and 2 provided you aren't busy doing something else. If she wants to do some of her work outside those hours, that's fine, but then you won't be available to sit with her. Maybe she might like to plan it so that the things she most wants help with she does first, while you're available. Then the next morning she can show you what she did while you were "not at school", and you can discuss it. (You might find it easier to set expectations in terms of outputs, rather than inputs - rather than saying she has to work for 2 hours, tell her she has to produce an amount and quality of work that you think is equivalent. Then you don't have to track what minutes she's working, you just look at the product.)

An issue that comes down to your philosophy is what you do if she does nothing when you're available, and then nothing later because you're not available, and ends up doing no school work for an extended period. Personally in that case I would say that obviously my child wasn't responsible enough to plan his own timetable, I'd enforce work at particular times, by whatever means necessary (for a start, by being extremely boring, offering neither fun nor help with schoolwork, after 2pm on any day when schoolwork hadn't been done before then) and if I found myself unable to enforce it I'd declare homeschooling a failure for now, but YMMV.

Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it so much. I've had a crazy busy week and this is the first chance I've had to sit down and respond, but I have been thinking about your questions and points.

On the math front, I agree 100%. It is impossible to 'hate math'. I should have worded my post more carefully, I just hear this statement from my DD so often. The idea of starting a separate thread about this makes sense.



Yes, yes and yes. However, I do feel that she would learn more if she didn't spend the entire day putting off school work, because once she 'starts' she appears to enjoy herself. This even happens with math, despite her frequent proclamation of 'hating math'.

As for discussing this with her, it really never amounts to a meaningful conversation. I've tried many of the approaches that you have mentioned but we keep ending up in the same place. I think that intellectually wants to focus on her 'school work' but somehow can't actually control herself. After YEARS of tantrums, I just can't go through it with 'school work' too. Today we did get a referral for all the psychoeducational assessments, but this is for another thread.

As for putting her in PS, this really isn't an option. We live in a very small town with 1 PS. She did attend for JK and it didn't go well. The class that she would be in is chock full of very serious behavioural challenges (that pale in comparison to DD). They do not have qualified support staff. They literally yell at some of the kids (I volunteered in her class and have witnessed it first hand). It is really awful. I can't imagine that she would learn anything positive at school and because she is above grade level in many areas, they absolutely wouldn't be interested in making any accommodations for her. It seems like they are just trying to survive each day.

Back to HS, I will keep aiming for 'daylight' hours and maybe if I can get her to 'like math' she will be easier to engage. As for the control issues, I really do not know what to do about this. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.

A.

Our 6 year old has about 1.5 hours of "school time" per day. She does some bits of a boxed curriculum, as well as story time, craft projects, and games. We'll typically work for about an hour after breakfast, and a half hour after lunch. Even if we've had a lot of interruptions, I make sure that we end by 2:00 for both our sakes. That said, my day is still crazy, as her younger siblings are usually up to something noisy, messy, or dangerous. But the actual homeschooling part is fun and low-pressure.

Do you think your daughter is getting enough sleep? I've noticed a big change for the worse when my DD stays up late, or doesn't sleep well due to allergies or nightmares. Just a thought.