Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Problems with Subject Acceleration

Hi everyone. I've been lurking on and off for a few years now, and have learned so much from this forum. THANKS! Life in school with DS6 had been relatively smooth sailing for a year, but now I see rough waters ahead and would like to ask your opinion/experiences.

My DS6 skipped K last year at the principal and teacher's recommendation after they tested him to be advance in math and reading (reading at end-3rd grade at age 5). His 1st grade teacher was great - even though things weren't perfect and DS6 probably didn't learn to his full potential, it was probably as good as I could hope for in a regular public school - he had an understanding teacher who really saw his giftedness and tried her best to challenge him. My son is not an easy kid - he's active, easily bored and squirmy. In first grade, my son was still ahead of everyone else, and towards the end of the schoolyear, we had a meeting with the teacher and the principal and they recommended a subject acceleration in math and differentiated instructions in reading/language arts the following school year. I also (privately) got my son evaluated, and he scored 139 full scale, and I believe a 143 or 144 GAI in WISC-IV.

Fast forward - 6 weeks into the schoolyear and we just had a meeting with both his 2nd grade teacher and 3rd grade math teacher. Not good. The 2nd grade teacher is okay - she is nice and is well-liked by kids. My problem is that she has her hands too full with so many things that I feel like she doesn't really know my son. But at this point, it's nothing that proper communication and some lowering of expectations on my part can't fix. As in, I probably should forget about reading and language arts differentiation in school. Fine. She seems like someone who wants her students to succeed. I just need to stop wishing for my son's GREAT 1st grade teacher back!

Then I had my meeting with the math teacher, which I set up and followed up myself. OMG - I want to cry. In fact, I did - for most of the weekend. If I get this feeling that the 2nd grade teacher doesn't really know my son, this other one is totally clueless. Okay, partly my fault - I should have been more assertive in making sure that I get a combined meeting with everyone - but with the way things run so smoothly in 1st grade and all the positivity of our end-of-schoolyear meeting, I felt that things were great and I can relax a bit.

Things I discovered (I had no clue - nobody bothered to clue me in) - my kid did not pass the last 2 topic assessments. Math teacher claims he is a behavior problem (does not focus and squirmy). Let me give you an example of some of the things she said, just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with:

"Your son acts like a typical 6 year old, but definitely not like a 3rd grader"

"If he is truly gifted, you shouldn't be really needing to help him with math" (This is after I asked, for the 3rd time, if I can have access to the text book so I can help my kid better by having a clear view of what is expected of him, and especially since he misses a class or so per week due to scheduling conflicts.)

"Oh, you mean he didn't do 2nd grade math?"

Anyway, on the overall, I left with a heavy heart and a clear view of her as someone who was not briefed at all about my son's situation, and definitely has no buy-in to this arrangement. I know in my heart that she sees my child as an additional, unworthy burden. I'm pretty sure as well that she has no experience with gifted kids and all their complexities.

I'm setting up a meeting with the principal and would love to hear your thoughts, words of wisdom, encouragements. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don't want to make it worse by complaining about the way this entire situation was handled, but somehow I have to turn this situation around. I know that 3rd grade is the right math level for DS6 but to be honest, I am not confident he can be successful with this teacher. I believe that for this arrangement to work, there has to be a full buy-in on the teacher's part, which I can't really imagine happening anymore at this point.

Thanks in advance!
JSMOM

Hang in there! Teachers are not all versed in what is typical of a gifted child. They are not always aware of potential knowledge gaps with acceleration and aren't always aware that this is totally normal, but not a concern as gifted children learn very quickly and can fill in any potential gaps easily.

I had a teacher say something along those lines to me that you were fed... If your child is as smart as you claim, then why did your DC forget his/her folder on the table last week? I felt like saying... I never said my child was perfect and not to mention... God Forbid I am able to find my keys every time I look for them! Does that imply I shouldn't be able to drive because I am not perfect? SHEESH!

Perhaps a group meeting and explaining that asynchronoous behavior is normal, as well as knowledge gaps, things might start to smooth out for you soon!

GOOD LUCK and don't let them get to you

My fourth grade DS9 has scores similar to your son's. If my son was two years ahead in math, I think he would be appropriately challenged, for the most part. Meaning he would actually have to do some work! So I am not shocked that your son didn't pass the last two topic assessments, given that the teacher doesn't seem to be communicating well and is making no concessions for your son's age. You son is 6 - of course he's going to need a little bit more help staying organized and developing independent study habits. You are obviously willing to do this. But the the teacher should have informed you after he failed ONE assessment, and you should have access to a book.

If I were in your shoes my number one priority would be to get hold of that book ASAP. You should get your own copy. Your son probably needs an extra ten minutes of your time each day going forward, but right now he probably needs a couple hours.
Can your hire a tutor for four sessions?

In the meeting with the principal I would focus on three things:

1. EXACTLY what curriculum / book are they using (so you can order your own)?

2. You want the homework, topics, and test dates communicated efficiently. Does the teacher post homework assigments and test dates on line? Send home a weekly schedule? If not, your son might need special accomodations in this area, like the teacher emailing them directly to you.

3. The behavior will probaby improve as soon as your son understands what the heck is going on. Assure the principal of this.

It sounds like maybe the teacher is trying to get rid of him. Is there a different 3rd grade math class? Are the 3rd grade math classes grouped my ability?

The school agreed to the acceleration and the scheduling, so I can't believe they wouldn't help you out on these minor things! It sounds like the teacher is a piece of work.

Welcome jsmom! Jane was right. You have to have a book or the online version of what he's being taught! Let them know that you would like a book along with the scope and sequence of what he's being taught. Every district I've ever seen follows a specific published scope and sequence or grade level expectations. You can usually get the basic ones at the state level but have to get what your specific school is doing week by week from them.

FYI-the schools don't always follow the state requirements. They follow the books. What this may mean for your accelerated son is that the 3rd grade requirements by the state may say "student's will understand time to the minute" and your son's book may be teaching elapsed time which is a 4th grade skill. So not passing a lesson may or mean he's not passing the 3rd grade skills which is already an acceleration or it may be even higher levels. This is what I found when my son accelerated. It took me a year to figure it out because no on tells you about it and honestly the teachers don't even realize this discrepancy. Once I figured it out I made the teachers aware of it.

You may also want to print out a few article on the asynchronous nature of a gifted kid. He's not going to be as mature as a 3rd grader. He's going to be a regular 6 year old in many ways. This is normal.

And on the truly gifted studen't not needing help with math. Nip that in the bud! Obviously she has serious misconceptions on gifted education. Again. I'd bring article from experts stating the exact opposite and quote them. Then leave her with copies. Gifted kids are more advanced than others which doesn't mean they don't need any instruction. I might make the point of quoting her back and asking her if this means she didn't teach him the skills that he failed. I'm sure the principal will set her straight on that point.

Hang in there!

Your son acts like a typical 6 year old, but definitely not like a 3rd grader

I can see why statements like that would make you cry! And I do completely understand your frustration. However, I think it *can* work (not ideally, but it can work). My ds8, a 3rd grader, goes to 5th grade math. And yeah, guess what, he probably acts like he's 8. We were very lucky last year to have him placed with a 4th grade teacher who had previously taught first grade, so she was very appropriate in her expectations. My feeling was not that my son should be given special treatment, but I did want a teacher who wouldn't expect 4th grade behavior.
For us, what's really worked is getting the group consensus. Last year, we met with not only the principal and his current teacher, but this year's teacher as well. I think it's important to have that meeting as soon as possible. This year, we met with his current teacher, his math teacher and his gifted teacher (scheduling, unfortunately, puts gifted and math into conflict, so like your son, he misses some). Yes, it would have been better to have it last year, but you really don't need her buy in (the teacher's) you only need her boss's buy in (the principal). If s/he is enthusiastic, that will go a LONG way in making this work.
We covered everyting in detail - when my son would miss class, how that would be handled, where homework would be posted, etc, etc... it was a bit easier for us because ds8's math teacher is my ds10's main homeroom teacher, so there is a level of familiarity and support.
One thing I really stuck to with all my kids (our two oldest were younger than their classmates) was making sure that it was an equal playing field. What I mean is - IF your son was 8 years old and displayed the exact same behavior, meaning, he's in 3rd grade and he's doing the same level of work and displaying the same behavior, would this teacher think that maybe he shouldn't be in 3rd grade math? OF COURSE NOT! Most likely, she'd be offering you workbooks and help and pushing you to work with him and make it successful. In essence, all you want is for him to be treated like the other third graders. But I feel like the teacher is just holding in her back pocket that he can "always go back" to second grade - instead of working her butt off to make sure that 3rd grade math works.

I would politely send a note to the principal, his current teacher and the math teacher and say, "hey, it's been a month and I'd like to evaluate how ds's plan is going. Specifically, I have the following questions/concerns. What day would be good to meet? I'd like to set aside 60 minutes."

Good luck!
Theresa

I, too, think it is up to you. And I do not think the teacher has to overextend himself. My DD is turning 6 tomorrow. She is also high energy, squirmy, not great at listening. She should move into the Hot Shots at gymnastics but she is not behaving like a model student. She gets bored, wants to do more. That is not the teacher's problem. She has to learn to focus and listen and behave.

And why we are doing the CTY for math acceleration. Great if the school works with us but figure for DD, that is best option.

A high energy 6 year old is a handful and the 3rd grade teacher should not have to spend energy on that.

Ren

Welcome!

Just a couple of quick thoughts:

1. Do you think you can get your son's first grade teacher to the meeting? She might be able to provide additional support to you and/or suggest a method or two (to the new math teacher) on how she was able to teach DS despite "immature" behavior.

2. Get everything in writing! If there is no official documentation, send a follow-up letter/note to each person who was present at the meeting. "Just want to say thank you for your time.... just want to make sure we are on the same page.... this is my understanding of our discussions...." etc.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Mag

Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate it! It means so much to know that there are people out there who understand my frustrations. I will email the principal and ask for a meeting as soon as possible.

It was really frustrating having a 20-minute slot with the math teacher and being told these things for the first time. I swear I had to bite my tongue everytime one of those remarks were mentioned. It was hard to not blurt out some smart comeback when she said that my son doesn't act like a third grader. I am a pretty agreeable person, and I remember saying "I do agree that there has to be certain level of behavior that is expected of everyone, but I think that it is unfair to expect him to act like a third grader. He is 6." To which she responded something about her having 10 years of experience teaching 6-year olds. I had to bite my tongue again to not say, "I do not see the logic in what you just said."

My kid, while active and talkative in nature, is NOT a behavior problem in his second grade classroom. Her teacher told me that repeatedly.

Jane, to answer some of your questions - no, there is no ability grouping at this time in this school. And yes, I plan to spend extra time with my kid to get him back on track, especially given the disadvantage he's been put in.

Wren, thanks for your comments. The subject acceleration was actually the school's recommendation. During the last 2 months of 1st grade, the teacher was basically just giving him 3rd grade worksheets to work on while he teaches the others 1st grade math, and she felt that it was unfair to just have my child be working by himself in one corner all the time. And I can imagine that it's pretty hard to have such a disparity in a class. That's how the talk of subject acceleration came about. I wanted to ask you though about your experience with CTY - how is it compared to EPGY? Is your DD taking the CTY course in place of her math subject in school? How did you propose that to her school? Btw, happy 6th birthday to your DD!

Thank you all again for all your thoughts and encouragement!

JSMOM