Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Low Self-Esteem

I have been trying to figure out how best to help build up my DS7's Self-esteem. Ever since last year's attempt at public school, his self-esteem has been completely in the toilet. The teacher refused to do any differentiation for him and then nit picked at him for everything, constantly went at him and many times publicly ridiculed him in front of the whole class - after a month we pulled him to go back to homeschooling. His self-esteem just has never recovered. Add in that he is a one million percent perfectionist and that makes matters worse...and now add in the fact that he was recently diagnosed with a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and we have an uphill climb on our hands.

We keep trying to find outlets that will allow him to shine so that others can see what a cool kid he is and he can hear positive things from other people other than mommy and daddy - but it seems to keep backfiring on us. We signed him up for scouts last year and he loved the activities and the extra belt-loop activities and he is a go-getter so he went bonkers on the achievement belt-loops. Instead of the 3 other kids in his den saying way to go or cheering him on when he did complete an activity -they would roll their eyes and make fun of him because he was earning so many of them. We tried calling all over the place to find any kind of Lego Robotics or Lego team that he could join because that is a huge love/strenth of his and every single one of them said that he wasn't old enough - no exceptions. He loves rock wall climbing and we will go do that at out local indoor place but he is not old enough for their after-school program. He is into some really cool stuff but we can never find either a.other kids who are into the same activity or if we do, DS7 is SO gung ho about it that the other kids look at him as the "weird" kid or b. we find a place to go to let him explore an area he is interested in and usually he is either not old enough or it is adults doing the activity who have no patience or interest to talk/encourage a 7 year old.

Anyone else dealing with Self-esteem issues or any words of wisdom?

Thanks Master of None - DH and I are pretty adament about having him stick through things - if he signs up for something he sees it through - school was the only place we drew the line after we began to see him have nightmares and bed wetting due to massive stress. He is back in scouts this year again and all his classes/activities he has continued, he just hasn't found a "buddy" that he can enjoy doing something he is passionate about with to be a friend with other than daddy and I....I think having a friend would be a huge esteem booster for him. I know he has told me for several years now that he is tired of the other kids calling him "weird" so it does bother him...he has 2 friends that he sees on playdates but he has yet to find someone who thinks programming and building circuits is cool. I am just worried with the sadness I hear and how hard he is on himself. Thanks for the ideas

Hi Belle, I can totally relate. We were told the same thing DS7 too young for lego robotics. One good thing about video games is he is bonding w/kids over them. He helps the other kids out which he loves to do and the kids are starting to be nice to him. That is what he said. A couple of kids have even called him at home for help. He has a club penguin buddy now too. They make plans to meet up at a specific time on club penguin after school. They pick a server and meet there (well something like that lol) If your DS is also a video game/computer person maybe that can help. I used to hate these games but I am now grateful he is bonding w/other kids over them.

Self Esteem was much worse last year kept saying he sucks, he's an idiot etc. Like you said being a perfectionist makes it hard because 1 little error and the poor kids think they suck.