Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Advocating for a 4yo reluctant reader/writer

We have our first school meeting coming up and I'm hoping someone here will be able to give me some advice. DS was recently tested on the SB5 with a FSIQ at the 99.6%ile. The Pysch has recommended the school undertake testing to ascertain what parts of the curriculum DS has already mastered, with a view to arranging some type of compaction/acceleration where necessary. At this stage, I have no idea what the school will or won't do.

What I can tell you is that DS has only just started to attempt to read out loud and his writing is probably completely average for a 4yo boy. We live with this asynchrony on a daily basis, and have to find ways to work around it. For example, DS can mentally add/subtract fractions but writes the number 3 backwards; and can define photosynthesis but can't read the word 'plant' in a sentence. How will a teacher with 20 other Kindergarteners accommodate this???

I'm all for DS to be taught at his readiness level but when there's such a discrepancy, which readiness level are we really talking about? DS is already sensitive about his reading and writing (or lack thereof) which could be exacerbated were these age-appropriate skills to be treated as learning "delays". I'm starting to feel really daunted about this meeting, so if anyone can provide any ideas on how we should approach this I'd be very grateful.

TIA

Hmm. My DS (now 8) sounds very similar to yours. He is mostly a mathy/science guy, but he had a huge vocabulary (and we recently found out after testing that his verbals gifts are as strong as the rest. He didn't start to read until he was 5 and in Kindergarten, but he went from "not reading" to reading chapter books in about 3 weeks. I guess it just clicked, or maybe he didn't feel the need to read on his own because I never pushed reading earlier and read to him a lot - I don't know.

Anyway, he was never sensitive about not being able to read, so my first question is, do you have a read on what may be causing that sensitivity? Is there a way you can address it? Very few kids can read going into a typical kindergarten, does you DS know that?

A good teacher will understand these issues, but I suspect you will need to do some educating. Maybe find some articles on asynchronous development and speak honestly with the teacher re: your concerns. Will a school psychologist be at the meeting? I have found it almost easier to advocate for my son because he isn't above grade level all the way around (his writing and spelling are normal or maybe slightly worse compared to most 8 year old boys) so there aren't as many areas to deal with and the school is not worried about us asking for grade skips, only subject acceleration. Also, not to sound negative, but depending on where you are located, you may find your bigger issue is getting any accomodation at this stage.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Cat

Ditto Cat. It's not at all unusual for a kid (even an HG+ kid) to start Kinder without being able to read -- your DS sounds like he's a step up already. He'll probably be firmly in the middle of the pack. And he'll be fine for writing as well. These are not even vaguely "delays", and I don't think a half-decent teacher will think of them that way.

It seems like all you need to do is ask if accomodation for math is possible (as Cat said, it might not be). Science really isn't an issue, because the science taught in K is so minimal. And if something "clicks" for your DS at some point regarding reading, you can address it then. Otherwise, just go with the flow -- I'm sure he'll continue to bloom wonderfully.

Thanks for the replies Catalana and Clay and to those that sent me PMs.

We aren't expecting any, actually. The preschool here wasn't at all interested in discussing finding a better fit for DS and even suggested that another year with them would help DS to be "less frustrated and more social with his classmates." We did consider this but realistically there'll still be potential issues with K, albeit a year later. We only have one preschool here and 2 small schools, so most locals are used to just accepting whatever the powers that be decide. We will too, by necessity, but I did think it worthwhile to at least see if we can help so DS feels motivated to be there.

No, DS doesn't really care what others are doing, but cares very much about what he can or can't do. He keeps telling me he wish he could read but says that reading is really for older kids - no idea who planted that little seed because it sure didn't come from home. As for the writing, he says his hand hurts, which magically doesn't happen when he's on the PS3! I guess the interest in reading is there but not for the writing so much at this point.

Sounds good, Clay. If I had a happy little boy that was eager to get to school each day, that would be fine with me! Preschool's been such a nightmare for us, I really don't think I have it in me to cope with 5 days a week of more of the same. Let's hope it's just smooth sailing from here and that the meeting with the school is a positive one

What happened with preschool?

With the experiences of both of my kids, I have come to believe that reading is as much of a developmental milestone as walking. Although it can be taught, it is really more something that just happens when it happens.

Both of my kids knew their letters and sounds before age 2, and had many sight words before age 3. They could sound out words at 4 and went into kindergarten only slightly ahead of the game in reading.

But sometime during that year, it clicked and they skyrocketed. My daughter came out of Kindergarten reading on a 4th grade level, and my son on a 3rd.