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Joined: Apr 2010
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MegMeg -- Good points. I guess what I was trying to say is not who has it worse, but that verbally gifted adults can have it better than verbally gifted kids. Taminy -- I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences. For a variety of reasons, I've been spared the bad boss so far, but I've seen it happen to both my parents in rather drastic ways and to dh to a lesser extent. I think it has less to do with a certain type of giftedness than it does with being extremely competent and having an insecure boss.  Would you consider doing a *stint* of admin? I didn't want to do it either until I accidently found myself in a hugely admin position... and discovered, hey, it wasn't half bad, I was good at it, and you get to play a lot of mental chess/do a lot of strategy, solve and avoid problems, etc., etc. There are some front line aspects you miss, but then there's all this new stuff that you get to do... it kind of evens out, especially if you know it's not forever.
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Ditto on the idea that there isn't much point in arguing over which group "has it worse". Not being mathematically or artistically gifted myself (in fact, artistically competent would be a stretch  ), I can't speak that directly to the difficulties of the mathematically or artistically gifted. When I responded, I didn't mean to imply that the differences are "more" or "less" problematic in a global sense--only that I think that those are among the differences that create challenges for the verbally gifted. And I use the term verbally gifted simply because it was used in the blog, not because I necessarily am sure that it is the term. It was the description of the skills/experiences, not the label, that felt familiar to me. I think that the intersection between the analytical/big picture strengths and the verbal strengths is the need for less time to process new information before responding to it. In other words, strong analytical skills are certainly not the monopoly of the "verbally gifted", but being able to hear, synthesize and respond verbally in a very short time frame, MAY be. It may also be what trips the negative reactions, since the person who presented the initial information may not have the same skill and therefore feels put on the spot or attacked when questioned. I don't know...just a guess based on some experiences I've had. Clay, thanks for the nice thoughts  I mostly really like my job. I've had jobs that were more administrative, and while I like the brainstorming/problem solving aspects of it, I really dislike other parts of it. I'm definitely a boots on the ground kind of person. I want to try it and implement it myself, rather than be in charge of other people trying it and implementing it, if you know what I mean. And, as I said, I have had some good supervisors. When I'm stuck with a supervisor who feels threatened by rigorous discussions of an idea, I try to work around it. Mostly I've just found ways to orient my attention and energy into the parts of the job that are less impacted by peoples' egos. And, while it was a bit of a painful journey, I have reached a place where I no longer believe every little thing a person tells me, so when I do jump in with both feet, I'm better able to live with the outcomes--It was a good day when I finally realized that: "...and I'm not the only one who thinks so..." is really just another version of "...I have a friend who has this problem..."  Offering to listen to the concerns of the supposed "others" started leading to a lot of backpedaling. Just wish I'd figured that out sooner--it would have saved me a lot of angst along the way!
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Joined: Jul 2009
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Interesting read... I'm not sure if I agree with everything, though. I'm fairly globally gifted and actually kept going back and forth between majoring in English or some sort of science. I ended up going the science route since I thought it'd be easier to get a job in the long run (oh, how naive I was, I had no clue what academia is really like...). But I've always fluctuated between the two. I almost dropped everything to become a lawyer in college and even to this day I still dream of writing books or going back to law school even though I do like what I do. I say that all because I actually really didn't have a problem with the verbal part in school. Granted, I went to a pretty decent school (especially HS). I was able to take multiple foreign language classes (very much a love of mine), we had a strong debate team, and we had all AP/honor English classes where we did a lot of essay writing, so it was something you could do to your ability. If anything math/science was more of a drudgery for me because you had to get tracked into certain classes and since I came to the school system late I was stuck into some lower classes that bored me to death (well, and even some of the AP science classes had teachers that had no clue what they were doing!!). In elementary it was similar, we always did a lot of projects for language type of things so it wasn't restrictive but for math I remember doing A LOT of worksheets and being bored out of my mind. I have specific memories about wanting to learn more complex things and being told I was too young and had to wait until we go to that grade level. It also helped that my parents fed my need for books at home and even in elementary they never restricted my choice of adult books. The one big exception was grammar. I HATED grammar worksheets... ETA: I'm not trying to say it's easier one way or another. Probably in my experience I was more fulfilled in the language arts side growing up than the math side but, again, that had a lot to do with my family (lots of very verbally gifted adults e.g. my grandma whose idea of a good time was to read the newspaper to look for grammar mistakes and then send them to my dad in the mail :D).
Last edited by newmom21C; 07/27/10 01:52 PM.
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Thank you for posting the link, Dazed&Confuzed. I think the challenges of the verbally gifted (as defined in relation to the link) are greater in adulthood perhaps than childhood. I come from a proud tradition of "whistle blowers" who could see problems others missed or ignored, and the penalties to those who stand up (or stand out) in those ways are harsh indeed. There is no question that is a kind of giftedness, seeing what others don't and acting on it.
I don't think anyone cares about any "contest" relating to who has it harder (among the gifted). I would not waste time worrying about that.
Thanks again Dazed&Confuzed.
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But suffering isn't a contest. I don't think it's meaningful to talk about it being worse to be this or that type of gifted. I just think it's valuable to recognize that the different types exist, and this is one that I think is under-recognized, and it was thrilling for me to see it described. I think my daughter is going to be like that. My father, who I admire very much, is also like that. I agree!
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Joined: May 2009
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Me too. I'm not convinced that being verbally gifted is more difficult, but it was interesting to some challenges they may face being highlighted.
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Interesting article. For someone who has two boys, one very strong in Math and the other in Language, it made me me question myself. I do tend to worry about 'the nerd' much more. I think one reason for this is that my gifted Verbally guy seems to have a sixth sense in language. He knows when to speak up and when to 'dumb down' in conversation. He can charm any adult with his questioning, vocabulary and humor, but cuts his language right down naturally when talking with his age peers. He's not even making an effort 'not to sound so smart', it all just seems so natural. I think this is part of his verbal gift - being audience appropriate, and makes his social life a relative 'walk in the park'.
On the other hand, I do know that he finds it personally frustrating that gifted Math kids get further accelerated in an obvious way, and there is a lot to be said for Verbal precocity not being appreciated by society.
Thanks for the article. When I was younger, I lived in NJ. They treated math & English (particularly grammar) acceleration equally. I excelled in both (though I believe I have now lost both as an adult - ha). I moved to GA, and they did not recognize my advanced English as a reason to subject accelerate me, again, at least in grammar. So I feel your verbal son's frustration, especially since I actually enjoyed English more. Of course, I won't go into my math frustrations being a GIRL and accelerating.  I do tend to worry about 'the nerd' much more. I think one reason for this is that my gifted Verbally guy seems to have a sixth sense in language. He knows when to speak up and when to 'dumb down' in conversation. He can charm any adult with his questioning, vocabulary and humor, but cuts his language right down naturally when talking with his age peers. This struck out to me, as it is my worry too for DS6. I had/have the ability to "dumb down", and I really hope he does too. It's sad, but it helps relieve a lot of issues with peers, especially during the middle school years!
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To me, fully vetting an idea is common sense and time saving in the long run, but I've come to realize that there are a distressing number of people out there who can't separate idea from ego. When those people are your supervisors, those reactions are every bit as devestating as they are from a classroom teacher who runs down a gifted child for speaking up in class. I was chastised (and retaliated against) by one supervisor for asking follow-up questions rather than accepting whatever incomplete responses I was offered in response to my questions (and this in the context of a "staff development" aimed at "constructing" a "shared understanding"). I was told by another supervisor that I "intimidate" others--not because of my interaction style, tone or word choice (all of which are acknowledged to be polite and respectful)--but because I "think too deeply" and (supposedly) my colleagues can't keep up (which even at the time I considered to be a gross lack of respect for my colleagues).
I used to take these criticisms painfully to heart. Fortunately, most of my colleagues are not the insecure people that my supervisors make them out to be, and it eventually became clear (long stories...)that it was my supervisors who were threatened. So for me? Being verbally gifted in the workplace means waging a constant internal battle between speaking up and risking a personal attack from my supervisor, or staying silent out of pure self-preservation and feeling like part of the problem. Wow, and here I thought I was the only one! I'm not sure, for me, if it's me being verbally gifted (as some of you put any thought of me being verbally gifted to shame with your posts - though that could be my ADD), or just gifted in general. But I have had this SAME issue. Sometimes I think it's like watching a horror movie. You've watched these movies, you know the pattern, you can't believe that the characters are going to split up and look for their friend, but apparently they haven't noticed the pattern because they are going to DO IT ANYWAY! And at some point (even if all of the gore/violence/etc didn't turn you away), you just can't keep watching these movies because you can't stand to watch the same stupid pattern repeat itself over and over and over again. I absolutely LOVE this analogy.
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Joined: Oct 2008
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Thanks for posting this and I love the horror movie analogy too. However, being one voice in a group of others less equipped to foresee the results and problems, who in the group is inclined to listen and acknowledge the single and voice differing in opinion and conclusion? If this individual is being contrary to the leadership, harassment and persecution are sure to follow in one way or another. I see the gifted encountering this type of situation more often with verbal issues than math.
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Another post at The More Child regarding verbal giftedness profiled in a book. Sounds like an interesting read. http://themorechild.com/2010/08/03/wisenheimer-a-story-of-a-verbal-giftedness/This is what got me. It�s one thing to have a child to speak about unhappiness with school. But no matter how empathetic one is, there still is that little voice thinking, �Yeah, but he�s a kid. It can�t really be that bad� It�s a totally other thing to hear that alienation filtered through the words and perspective of a thirty-something Yale professor. Yeah, it can be that bad.
Last edited by Dazed&Confuzed; 08/08/10 06:11 AM.
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