Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums GT Research The inconvenience of being verbally gifted

New Blog entry at The More Child. http://themorechild.com/2010/07/20/being-inconvenient/

Interesting article. For someone who has two boys, one very strong in Math and the other in Language, it made me me question myself. I do tend to worry about 'the nerd' much more. I think one reason for this is that my gifted Verbally guy seems to have a sixth sense in language. He knows when to speak up and when to 'dumb down' in conversation. He can charm any adult with his questioning, vocabulary and humor, but cuts his language right down naturally when talking with his age peers. He's not even making an effort 'not to sound so smart', it all just seems so natural. I think this is part of his verbal gift - being audience appropriate, and makes his social life a relative 'walk in the park'.
On the other hand, I do know that he finds it personally frustrating that gifted Math kids get further accelerated in an obvious way, and there is a lot to be said for Verbal precocity not being appreciated by society.
Thanks for the article.

Oh my goodness, that is my daughter!!! This particularly struck a chord: "an uncanny grasp of cause and effect."

I agree with the blogger, it takes a lot for me to say "wow" anymore, but this is a wow.

"verbally* gifted kids (and by extension I guess, adults) have it harder vis a vis their artistically and mathematically/science gifted peers."

Well, first I'd have to say that all gifted kids can have a hard time of things, just in different ways. But -- and doubtless there are powerful exceptions to this -- I don't believe verbally gifted adults have a harder time of things. As we know, what applies in the school setting does not necessarily translate to the "real world". And in my experience, strong oratory skills, persuasive abilities, technical writing expertise, sharp sense of humor, etc., etc., are very much in demand and very much appreciated, particularly if they are coupled with -- as lulu mentioned -- the ability to modulate one's language to fit the audience.

Doubtless, a math/science precocity mixed with verbal skills is a potent match, but I think being too skewed in the math (and, to a lesser extent, science) direction can be alienating throughout life.

I don't know if I have had a 'wow' moment, but I haven't read the entire article she references, so perhaps I should refrain from saying too much. But I do agree with Clay in that I don't see that the verbal child has it any harder than the others.

From personal experience: I am a cause and effect 'gifted' and have found myself in numerous situations where people would become infuriated by my predictions coming true and accusing me of having privileged information when it was just my observation of the situation. Did this cause distress? Yes, but nothing I couldn't handle. And enough times of my observations and predictions; people started to accept that I had the same information they had, but was able to see the pattern and potential outcome.

It's always potentially problematic and divisive when you start to say one group has it worse than another. But some of what she says rings true in my family. I think it can be easier, depending on the school, to accelerate a kid gifted in math. However, a kid whose verbally gifted, wants to discuss history and philosophy when in 2nd grade, won't be accelerated to middle school where he would be able to discuss those topics. And once you get to that level, output becomes a problem as much of the discussion is in the form of written work. I've had this discussion many times about kids that are in logic stage but still have grammar stage skills, to use the trivium terminology. It's just not easy to accelerate those kids. Everyone kept saying "Just wait until he gets to middle school or high school" but emotionally, intellectually, my son was dying, he would not have made it. Ironically, however, math is what my son complained most about and what ruined school and learning for him, by not being challenged.

I agree. My son inherited his verbal gifts from his dad who works as a supervisor for a university. My husband is not a professor, like his geology professor sister, but he is much more fun to be around. My husband's verbal gifts and "acting ability" were very useful when he worked in military intelligence years ago. His verbal abilities made him very versatile and he has never had trouble finding a job. He has retired twice and was at an age when a lot of people have trouble finding a job and he not only found one right away but they are trying to talk him out of retiring in a few years.

I think that verbally gifted adults who are also performance oriented/charismatic may be in demand, but being a verbally gifted member of a larger group can be very frustrating for an adult.

The ideas posted on the blog really resonated with me. I think that one part of the issue is that being verbally gifted and seeing long term cause/effect relationships is less product based than a lot of other types of gifts. There's less to look at/objectively evaluate than an arts based gift, or even a STEM based gift.

I think that another part of the issue is that it is a gift that usually requires interaction with others. If those others don't happen to share that skill set, there is often resentment (and sometimes outright hostility) when we challenge ideas, or insist on delving beyond the surface of something that has been presented. Many of us have stories about one of our children being verbally slapped down for challenging a teacher. I don't think that happens just because it is child to adult. I think it happens because too many adults can't stand the idea of being "wrong". Too many adults are bothered by ambiguity or the possibility that multiple perspectives might be reasonable. Even in the face of glaring evidence to the contrary, there are adults who are completely unable or unwilling to allow anyone to challenge their point of view (reading the discussion boards responding to some of the articles about Ms. Sherrod was...wow...).

To me, fully vetting an idea is common sense and time saving in the long run, but I've come to realize that there are a distressing number of people out there who can't separate idea from ego. When those people are your supervisors, those reactions are every bit as devestating as they are from a classroom teacher who runs down a gifted child for speaking up in class. I was chastised (and retaliated against) by one supervisor for asking follow-up questions rather than accepting whatever incomplete responses I was offered in response to my questions (and this in the context of a "staff development" aimed at "constructing" a "shared understanding"). I was told by another supervisor that I "intimidate" others--not because of my interaction style, tone or word choice (all of which are acknowledged to be polite and respectful)--but because I "think too deeply" and (supposedly) my colleagues can't keep up (which even at the time I considered to be a gross lack of respect for my colleagues).

I used to take these criticisms painfully to heart. Fortunately, most of my colleagues are not the insecure people that my supervisors make them out to be, and it eventually became clear (long stories...)that it was my supervisors who were threatened. So for me? Being verbally gifted in the workplace means waging a constant internal battle between speaking up and risking a personal attack from my supervisor, or staying silent out of pure self-preservation and feeling like part of the problem. Sometimes I think it's like watching a horror movie. You've watched these movies, you know the pattern, you can't believe that the characters are going to split up and look for their friend, but apparently they haven't noticed the pattern because they are going to DO IT ANYWAY! And at some point (even if all of the gore/violence/etc didn't turn you away), you just can't keep watching these movies because you can't stand to watch the same stupid pattern repeat itself over and over and over again.

Or sometimes I think it's like being Cassandra and seeing outcomes no one else (with power) will look at. I've always found that story painful--the injustice of it sends me right over the edge!

I'm sure that if I chose to be an administrator, this experience would be lessened, but darn it--I don't WANT to be an administrator. I find it exciting to lead, but not to manage, and I'd rather problem solve at the front lines level than at the behind the scenes "all powerful" level. So...I foresee more time spent beating my head against the wall in the future, but perhaps less often since I am now better able to judge when a request for input really....isn't. I have had some good supervisors over the years. Maybe another one is right around the corner? Oh well....a gal can dream.....

Just want to say I'm absolutely not into the "who has it harder" game. What resonated with me is that we have at least some societal recognition of what a math nerd is. We don't really have the same recognition for . . . I don't even know quite what to call it.

"Verbally gifted" doesn't quite capture Persson's description of "persuasive argument . . . and the precocious ability to question, analyse and think critically about philosophical, ethical, moral, sociological, political and historical issues."

It's harder to quantify, and it doesn't have a convenient readily-understood label. I think it's also talked about less even in the gifted community, because it's not something we know how to test for (although it probably correlates somewhat with tests of "verbal" ability).

And I think there are unique difficulties that go with being such a person. Other people do tend to see them as obnoxious know-it-alls, if not outright control-freaks who think they have to be right all the time.

But suffering isn't a contest. I don't think it's meaningful to talk about it being worse to be this or that type of gifted. I just think it's valuable to recognize that the different types exist, and this is one that I think is under-recognized, and it was thrilling for me to see it described. I think my daughter is going to be like that. My father, who I admire very much, is also like that.

WAAAA-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I cannot stop laughing!!!!