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many of you are aware of our struggles with little'un.

We had a meeting with the head to discuss a serious bullying incident which descended into a tirade aboutt our son's "behavioural problems". There followed an exchange of letters expressing extreme upset and distress. In a subsequent meeting the headmistress only example of behaviour problems went back to him shouting out in school assembly in October 2009. When pressed as to why we were not kept informed of any ongoing behaviour issues we were told that the school olikes to handle them as much as possible. I asked for examples - he has only been sent to the headmistress once - yet none were given.

The class teacher, who attended both meetings and should have handled the bullying which has gone ion for over a year, and at the prior meeting had been critical of our son, by this point was saying that little'un showed no misbehaviour in his class - so quite a backtracking there. It was suggested little'un was misbehaving in art class at junior school- which I expressed bemusement as liitle'un attends Grade 12 Art Class in Seniors (UK 6th form) and there is only positive feedback.

After much shifting in her chair, after practically calling the missus a liar saying there was no evidence of physical bullying, headmistress finally said the bully had been spoken to by her and that little'un was to report any bullying by this boy directlyto her.

So, where are we. Well, just 2 days after the meeting litle'un was bullied again. We let it go as it was 2 days before end of term. I have lost faith in this school and its ability to look after my son. I don't want to send him back, but he loves the school and wants to stay there. The only plus sides, and these are the only reasons I see for him staying there, are that he does get access to Senior Art class, they have sculpture classes coming up with seniors with a well known Liverpool artist, and little'un has been recognised by the Director of Art in the Senior School as being a gifted artist with obvious talent. We will lose all this if he leaves in his final junior year.

We are in a bind!

Any advice?

Thanks

Is there any possibility of selecting his teacher for next year? Could you ask the head if you could interview the potential teachers directly? Can you talk to any of the parents in the year ahead of him to see how they felt about teachers in that class? It would seem a shame to lose that enriched art, since it sounds as though that is one of his greatest passions and strengths.

Alternatively, is there a way to attend another junior school, but still go to his current senior school for art? Does leaving this junior school cut off his chances to go to that senior school in a year's time? Does he want/plan to go that senior school himself when the time comes?

Is part-time homeschooling possible? Could you enroll him in the junior school for a class or two, add the senior school art, and do the rest at home? (Somebody here, Melissa I think, has one of her kids at school just for language arts.)

I'm all questions and no answers!

peace
mm

Is the bullying happening with just one particular student? Could you request a separation? If you don't want to give up on the school it might be an option.

Thank-you both

It's just one boy who has constantly bullied since little'un joined the school, badly handled this last year. How would a seperation work - we have spoken to the NAGC in Milton Keynes who said this was a toxic relationship (the boy lost his dad 5 years ago when he was 5, is obviously still grieving, and he confided in little'un he wanted to kill himself - which itself has caused some upset at home)

The whole thing has been mismanaged this year (it started, but waas managed, when little'un joined the school half way through year 4). It hacked me off when the head just run our boy down to cover failings.

It is a prep school linked to a private school in North Liverpool which we went to out of desperation following bullying by pupils and staff at state school. Quite frankly we are struggling to pay fees in a school that said it didn't tolerate bullying and catered for Gifted kids.... it wouldn't take a lot for us to walk but, as you said mm, there is the ART.

Sometimes if there is more than one classroom per grade, the school arranges for the 2 kids to have not classes together. This has been helpful for us.

Other than the Art, how have the academics been?

I get that your son 'loves the school' but does he have school-friends?

If the academics are 'pretty ok' and there are real friends, then it seems like now would be a good time for you to sit down with DS and say, 'Ok, if we are going to let you try and stay for the Art class, and the school isn't going to help with 'child X' let's brainstorm things that you can do so that you don't continue to be the target of child X, and you make a commitment to trying things from that list.

Things that frequently end up on other such lists are -
Martial Arts classes 2x/week

Attempt to schedule 3 weekend playdates/month that involve something besides videogames (Read 'A good friend is hard to find' for more details)

Learn meditation breathing so that when bully attempts to get emotion out of DS, DS is very boring indeed.

Social Skills class.

Notice that I'm not saying that DS 'should' have to handle this without the school's help.
I'm not saying that it's DS's fault that his is being bullied.
I'm certainly not saying that DS is the one with the problem.
I'm not even saying that any of the things on your list will actually make the bullying stop - but I do think that taking an active approach is better than passively waiting for the situation to change. I think that weighing the pros and cons and expecting effort on DS's part is better than the reactive 'I must stay at this school because of Y.'

However, we do not live in a perfect world. The just right school may not be within 1 hour of your home. School admins aren't filled with perfect people. The only thing that we really have some control over is what we ourselves do.

Make sense?
Grinity

I would have to say, that once all resources are exhausted and you can no longer work with the school, then it's time to walk. Granted, it has the art aspect, however, is there a way you can still pull it off by having private classes, or having your son mentor a respected artists etc? It doesn't have to come from the school. If you can easily walk away from the the school, I would guess that the only reason you are staying is the art. Defenitely request that your DC is not placed with the other child and try to resolve things with the school. if the school isn't willing to help much, then it's time to move on.