They say, he really can't even respond in writing at a 2nd grade level. His penmanship (mechanics) are good. His spelling is good. He uses proper punctuation and capitalization. But he is so worried about doing it correctly that it takes him a really long time. So to respond with more than one or two sentences frustrates him to the point that he just "gives up and gets mad."
Well, I'm not buying the argument that the school's only obligation is to help him in his challenge areas. I think it's important to think about the whole child. I'm guessing that this is a 'special school' in some way because they are working a year ahead of national standards, and sometimes schools can be so impressed by themselves because of their achievements that they get really inflexible and blame those who don't 'fit.'
As soon as possible I would visit lots of classrooms, in this school and in other schools and see exactly what there is for your child in any particular setting. I would look into all the possible ways to make school work for your child, including changing schools, changing grades, homeschooling, and afterschool enrichment. Perhaps a private IQ test might bring some more insight into what is the best school fit, and a professional who might fight in your corner.
In the meantime, I think your son is quite miserable in his writing ability. Your description makes me feel sad for him. Everyone deserves to be able to communicate fluently, by talking, typing and, for shorter messages, through printing. (I see cursive writing as more optional.)
If you think the time is right, then perhaps you could 'hothouse' the printing a bit. My favorite materials are the 'handwriting without tears' books and I especially love their notebook paper. I would try to make it a fun way to spend time with a beloved parent. An interesting challenge. I would have writing races to see who can write faster, and laugh at the silly results. It seems like loosening him up a bit as you increase his skill would be a kind thing to do. Maybe try doing 'speed trials' in other activities - such as cake icing and bed making so that he learns that there are times in life where gusto is more important than precision. Maybe introduce an imaginary superhero to your family 'FastMan' who does things quickly, but not perfectly.
Sorry if I'm offbase here - perhaps I'm talking to a lurker sitting behind you! I typed this post very quickly and with my first instinct: FastMan to the Rescue!!!
Love and More Silliness,
Grinity
