Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion issues with anxiety in DS7 - long

My DS7 tends to be very sensitive and when something really traumatic or scary occurs, he tends to dwell on it...we went through a bit when he was a few years younger where he was running his hands through something that had spilled on a shelf at Lowe's - I saw that it was a spilled bag of ant poison and I had him go to the bathroom and wash his hands - I was very low key and didn't make a big deal out of it - he on the other hand, got very upset when he saw what it was and then read the bag about not coming in contact with the contents and we went through about 2 months of him asking every 2 seconds if he was "okay" and whether or not it was okay to touch this thing or that thing....it about drove us bananas and we used a great anxiety book that had some workpages that talked about how to conquer the "worries" and the whole thing disappeared after about 2 months.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago - we were using a Chemistry set where we had done the flame test and burned different kinds of salts to see the colors change in the flame and then we burned 2 chemicals that came with the set...we then moved onto where you mixed plaster of paris and then placed it onto your hands to make a mold of the top of your hand. He read that while mixing the plaster of paris they said you should wear rubber gloves because it could cause a skin irritation. So, I wore gloves while mixing and then the minute I started applying the gauze soaked in plaster of paris to his hands, he turned sheet white and fell face first onto me and passed out. I got him revived and tried to figure out what happened when he passed out again and he gave me the fright of my life - he was passed out on the floor, sheet white with blue lips and wouldn't respond so we dialed 911. By the time the ambulance arrived he was back on his feet but was scared out of his mind about what occured, asking me if he was "going to die" and was just really shaken up. We had no idea if he reacted to one of the chemicals we burned or what...so at the ER they did a million blood tests along with other things and after 6 hours everything came back normal. The next day we spoke with DS and he said he had gotten really, really scared about putting the plaster of paris on his hand after reading the warning about wearing gloves when handling it....we met with his doctor later that afternoon and he said that we may never know if he had a reaction or he just go so scared that he passed out.

Since that event he has had reoccuring nightmares about passing out and the whole ordeal in the ambulance/ER and just hasn't been himself. We have talked about dreams/nightmares and it seemed to help when he would share ideas at bedtime about some cool/fun dreams he could dream about and we have talked about what happened.....and we seemed to be turning the corner only to have an occurance today where he told DH that he felt dizzy and then DS7 started to get really anxious which just made the situation worse. I didn't want to ignore the fact that maybe something is going on...an ear infection or something else that could affect your equalibrium but in any case he was really upset that maybe something was wrong with him. I think the whole thing of not really knowing what occured that day has caused an issue and left him wondering if something was "wrong" with him since no one could really tell us what occured. So we went in to his doctor where she gave him a complete check up and said everything looked fine - he seemed to be relieved but I can tell that his anxiety hasn't really disappeared.

Anyone else have sensitive kids that over-react to situations? The doctor shared that it has to be really tough for him in that he has a 7 year old body/emotional state and a several year older brain because he is able to understand/read/learn things that most 7 year olds can't even understand...his intellect can handle what he is learning but that sometimes his emotional age has a hard time handling scenarios. Like he is in LOVE with learning about tornados/hurricanes/earthquakes and will research them for hours and share how he wants to be a tornado chaser because it fascinates him but when a tornado warning comes on the tv he gets scared. Anyone have any words of wisdom or suggestions on how to help sensitive/worrying little kids?

Oh, your poor little guy!

My DD7 also struggles with anxiety/worries and panic. She dwells on occasions where she was scared, almost to the point of obsessing. She talks about it insessantly and asks the same questions over and over. She has a few fears that evoke panic attacks. The biggest two are bears and bees. She spent almost an entire summer indoors because she saw two bees outside our house and had a panic attack. She was really traumatized over these bees. We just had her convinced that it was safe outside and I decided to teach her how to ride a bike. Sent her sailing on her own off into a field of dandlions where she stirred up all kids of bees. I thought she was going to need therapy after that!!

She often has nightmares about whatever has scared her. I can't even count the number of bad bear dreams she has had in the past year. All it takes is seeing a TV show with a bear in it. We try hard to talk her through her anxiety but it is hard. On one level she understands what we are saying, but on the other she is a little kid who is scared out of her mind and can't control her autonomic reaction to her fears.

I wish I had some great advice for you, but I don't. We have the same struggles. I hope someone else has some wisdom to share!!

You're not alone!!! First of all, know that....our dd has had some "episodes" that have seemed somewhat strange to me, but really everyone is wired differently. So unless it's interfering with everyday life, use it as a teaching moment.
My dd had a "puncture" on her knee at school two years ago. She had a growth that got torn off at recess that wouldn't stop bleeding. I got called to the school and took her to the Dr. to fix it. It had to be cauterized, but every once in a while she'll still talk about her "puncture" and how it bled and bled. I just reassure her that all is well, it's taken care of and will probably never happen again. Some kids are just more anxious.
It's o.k......if it interferes with everyday life, time to get some help.
I find that if I overreact (who, me?) then she will too. Not easy since my first reaction is usually to freak out!!!
As for the bad dreams, my best friend told me about "dream catchers". They are a native Indian idea that "catches the bad dreams and takes them away". If you Google it you'll find out more. I made one for dd. Does it work? Don't know, but she has one over her bed and hasn't complained about bad dreams since we put it up.
Good luck and let us know what works for you. Everyone here is so helpful and we do "get" the different child. They aren't all the same, and thank goodness for that because what a boring world this would be if they were, right?

We have similar experiences with fears that seem so irrational to us. My DS7 has intense fears of make-up and salad. I know this sounds funny but his fears are very real. Makes me sad because he won't cuddle with me, only his dad, because of his make-up fear. It is interesting to watch them work through the fears. This summer he participated in theater camp and I knew when the production time was near the makeup issue would surface. The theater told him the make-up they applied was at first "crayon" and then "paint". He somehow justified to himself that it wasn't makeup. When his dad picked him up from dress rehearsal and said something we thought would be encouraging like. "wow, you overcame your makeup fear", that just set him off. Although he wore the makeup all day, thinking it was paint or crayon made it okay. Now that we called it makeup, he panicked and basically crawled out out of his seat the entire way home until he could wash it off.

I keep my fingers crossed that he will outgrow these fears but suspect he will replace them with others. I am not sure if this is related to being gifted or just normal childhood stuff. Either way, it definitely can be trying for us all.

You all have NO idea how comforting it is to hear that others are going through the same thing. I almost was in tears reading the posts because sometimes I feel so alone in trying to figure out my little guy. He is such an incredible kid and I am SO lucky to be his mom but I sometimes feel so overwhelmed with things he goes through and I feel like I am not doing enough to help him.

After we met with the doctor today (it was not my son's regular doctor or the regular office - she was on vacation this week and we took what was available)..the doctor was very nice and they did not have my son's full medical charts because it is kept at the main office - after she looked over him and said everything was fine, I stayed behind while DH took our son to the car and we spoke for a moment - the doctor's first words were, "he is one smart kiddo" then it was followed right after with how sensitive he was and then I knew what was coming - she asked if he had ever been assessed for being on the spectrum. I asked her why she came to that thought - she said that spectrum children tend to be so smart yet so sensitive. I quickly followed with yes, but highly gifted children are very smart and can be very sensitive as well and just because they have those traits does not automatically mean they are on the spectrum. She agreed and said she did not know my son's medical history or the fact that he was gifted.....but it is frustrating when I hear the same blanket statement right out of the gate. My DS has been assessed til the cows came home and he is not on the spectrum, does not fall into any of the PDD or OCD avenues - the last psych said he is just extremely gifted and his body is having a rough time always dealing with that. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone!!!!

My 12 year old son reacts with anxiety when he goes to some doctors--especially the ones that were involved in diagnosing and treating his scoliosis because it involved pain. I am sure he has anxiety about that as I would and do because I hate to see him in pain. His blood pressure and heart rate go up quite a bit, but he has never fainted. The pediatrician said he might need medication for his anxiety but we didn't want to make him see another doctor just so he could deal with seeing her. He does not react with anxiety when he sees the neurologist because he explains everything to him. He wasn't anxious when he had to have blood drawn after the neurology appointment. He just needs to know what is going on because his imagination runs wild with all the things he has read. It probably doesn't help that I sometimes watch Mystery Diagnosis.

My adult daughter fainted recently after getting a few moles removed. The doctor told her he had only had one other patient faint right in front of him--an 8 year old. My daughter was embarrassed but went on to work afterward. It made her sick to change the bandages. My son always reads warning labels and he worries that exposure to chemicals in cleaning products that we use might make him sick. He was right in reading the warning label on the container of poison that his dog found because she would have died if he hadn't talked us into taking her to the vet so he pays even closer attention to warning labels now. He worries that X-rays he has to have every three months might cause cancer later on. Some people are just more sensitive than others.

Oh Belle,
Your comment about what the Doc said about your ds makes me so mad! Don't these doctors realize their impact on parents? We've had the same thing happen. Good for you for your gifted comment about your ds. I think there is so much ignorance about the gifted out there that's it's frightening!
Hang in there, our kids will learn to deal with their sensitivities in their own good time.

Ever since I could read, I was always like your son. I am very intelligent, but my emotional state and physical age, as your doctor said, is far behind my intellectual capacity. For example, when I was in first grade, a tornado watch was in my area, and I just freaked out at what I saw on the screen. All of the sudden, I was yelling, "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" repeatedly, and my mother eventually got frustrated with me. At that same year, I also "discovered" medical textbooks, and when I read them, I got a fear of tetanus, whooping cough, diptheria, rubella, strokes, and comas.
Your son could benifit from cognitive therapy. If your son is used to the statistics of a tornado appearing in his state, he'd be gradually habituated out of the fear. Plus, cognitive-behavioral therapy doesn't dissipate your child's natural personality with medication or other treatments like that! It just makes the fears naturally go away. It worked for one of my fears, and if your child is tired of being scared, it would work out.

Lori, I can't tell you how much of what your son is going through is similar to my little anxieties and gifted quirks. I sometimes need to know what's going on too, or I'll freak out about it and assume it's some kind of disease. Sometimes (not sure if you've experienced it with your son) I'll read something bad, and think that I have characteristics of it. Now, my mom only lets me watch a scant amount of Dr.G and Mystery Diagnosis, and never lets me go on my beloved self-analysis things! It's for my own good, though. Again, I hope your life with your gifted child goes along smoothly!

Plaster of Paris is one that gets hot. I have made many hand molds with it but pouring it in a box to the half way point and letting it dry to then come back with Vaseline and finish it off with the next round of plaster. It gets very hot and if you don't Vaseline your hand you can end up with burns. Not sure how hot it becomes with the gauze technique but have to believe it had warmth and might be why he reacted the way he did.

I wish I had advice for you Belle, but am glad you have at least come to realize you are not alone and others have sensitive kids. I'm not sure how sensitive my DD is at this point. She definitely obsesses over things that trouble her. My lovely sister thought it would be fun to explain spiders to her a few months ago. DD has know about spiders and never really was that bothered by them until the day I left her in the car with my sister while I ran into a store. When I came out, I opened DD's door to give her something and was meet with screams and full blown crying where her little body was shaking. I asked what was wrong and my sister informed me that she was explaining to DD about a spider that was on the car next to them and how it was a jumping spider. Knowing my sister I know she went into a full blown detail with anatomy and specific traits of that type of spider. The problem with this particular spider is it was quite big and right out side DD's door ... it freaked me out when I finally turned around and looked at it, but of course I didn't show DD my fears. But no amount of consoling would work for her ... she was really scared and since that day back in early May, she is terrified of spiders. Freaks out when she sees one and won't go near the cars if she sees a spider web. I don't think the fact that she fears spiders is really that abnormal for 3 and 4 year olds ... it is the intensity of the fear that makes it beyond normal.