Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Imagination, different characters etc.

DD newly 3 has always been good in entertaining herself but recently it seems like she is always in her own little world. We are having hard time keeping up with her. I usually ask her who she is and who am I and she does tell but she normally does not want us to interfere. She is very well liked (maybe too much) at the daycare and plays with her friends well there but wants me to pick her up early so she can play alone at home. It seems like her little friends look after her and want to be like her and play when she is not that interested?

Oli,

I'm confused by your post: "her little friends look after her and want to be like her..." are you talking about her imaginative friends or her friends from school?

Do you have concerns that she is slipping into her made up world and not really participating in this one? Or is the just an observation where you are curious about other kids this age and how they play?

DD is all about imaginative play and spends most of her alone time doing just that, but she still plays with her friends at school. Just depending on her mood will she ask for us to participate but for the most part she can play for hours on her own creating scenes and acting them out and has done so since before age 2. I is imaginative play as a positive.

When my DD was 3, and in preschool, I asked her teacher how she was doing socially. The teacher said DD generally preferred to play by herself, and that she was able to say "No, thank you; I want to play by myself" without hurting any feelings when she was asked by others to play. And that she was asked fairly frequently to play, and was always welcome in the groups she wanted to play with, when she was the one who initiated playing together. And that there was a group of kids who preferred playing in the areas DD played in, because she let them interact with her as much or as little as they wanted, whereas some of the more-social kids would insist that the kids in their area play with them.

FWIW, she became much more interested in other people (and in fitting in socially) about the time first grade started. Honestly, it was easier for me when she didn't care what anyone else thought - we did a complete wardrobe change mid-year, among other things.

Sorry I was not clear. It happens to me a lot. I was talking about her real friends at the daycare. She has a fanclub and she usually chooses only 1 child (the oldest and calmest) she wants to play with. We are invited to many playdates and birthday parties and we hear from the other kids parent how DD is their child's good friend and they play at the daycare all the time. DD never talks about these kids. Often DD is the only girl invited to a boys birthday and the only child parents have never invited for a playdate. We are happy that she is liked and don't know if we should be worried that she does not care.



Both. Recently her imaginary world seems to overtake her normal world. I wanted to hear if this is common as usually IRL and here I hear complains kids demanding lot of attention and never them entertaining them self too well. She has hard time stopping and leaving the house to do something else. For example if she asked to go to the pool, in 5 minutes when we are ready to go she can not go anymore as she is Mary Poppins dancing on rooftops of London with blue plastic horse (Bert) and two dolls (Jane& Michael). It might take her 2 hours before she is ready for the real world and swimming. We usually only get to participate by either rarely saying something related to the play or if she needs us to help build houses for her toys.



I'm not sure if DD can tell politely to the other kids that she does not want to play with them. I often hear the teachers telling her friends to leave her alone.



Maybe this happens for her too. For now she does not care what other kids have. She thinks her clothes, toys & backpack are the greatest and her friends notice it and want to have everything like she has. It seems like she is so independent and secure it makes the others think she must have something special that they should get too.

I suspect the need for attention has to do with personality more than anything and maybe EQ. Would be interested in what other people have to say about it.

For the most part, DD is able to bring her creative world with her when we need to go somewhere, unless she is using something in the house that wouldn't be able to go with us. IE. Right now she is all about this big inflatable dog she has for the pool and plays with it all over the house. I have had a few occasions where I needed to go somewhere and she wasn't having it since it meant leaving her dog who was the main character of the scene. But when she is really just using her imagination and has little invisible animals she has no problem taking them with her and making them a part of our world.