Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional germ obsession

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We went through a germ-obsession phase when dd8 was about 7 to 7.5. She washed her hands so often that the skin on her hands cracked so we also used mild soap and hand cream. Going to the bathroom was stressful for her (and us) even at home, and much worse when we were out. She would freak out screaming if she thought any part of her body was "dirty" with germs on it.

I felt the same way as you about worrying that consulting a professional might make things seem more serious to the child and will make things worse.

We tried talking and reasoning to her in many ways and she understood some of the logic but just couldn't really control her worries.

Then one day we came upon this book: What to Do When You Worry Too Much. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/What-When-You-Worry-Much/dp/1591473144

It's a workbook written for kids. It explains several different strategies. We read it with her and tried implementing the "worry time" idea which was to ask her to put all her worries in a mental box during the day, then sometime toward the end of the day, we had a time dedicated to talking to her about her worries. After doing that for just a week or so, plus she used some other strategies on her own - like telling the "worry bully" to go away when it crept up, things had improved significantly. A part of it could also be that she was very, very unhappy about the way she was so worried and so she was ready to be done with it. All in all though, the book was a tremendous help and a sanity saver for all of us in this family.

The other thing that helped a lot with the hand washing thing was allowing dd to use baby wipes (the mild no-perfume ones) on her hands or anywhere when she felt there were germs there. I did have to explain again and again that baby wipes are enough in many situations. It was a lot of wipes in the beginning. I had a hard time seeing her use and throw away that many wipes each time. I had to remind myself it was much better than the other alternative of her hands cracking and bleeding! Once she became less worried, she needed less and less wipes. :-)

We did lots of talking and lots of patience and it seemed like it would never end, but one day it did end. Okay, it didn't end completely, but it's much much better now. We feel like she has an almost normal life again.

Hope this helps some and good luck!!

Yeah, we had sanitizer overuse issue too. I first thought it was a good idea but then had to take it away. The smell of the sanitizer is also horrible to me. I think there are gentler brands out there though. I remember getting one with nice smell from Trader Joe's.

No, you're not alone. And no, you're not crazy to worry about this.

Hope things get better soon. Hugs!!

My 8-year old AS child is in exactly the same boat, but in terms of ingesting things. He will not drink or eat anything that any other family member has touched, drank from, etc. While this is fine most times, when we're somewhere where drinks are expensive, it's a definite minus. He is also extremely conscious of bugs and hates them.

To be honest, I wouldn't worry unless it doesn't get better over time. Two years ago, my DS couldn't handle even seeing a fly. Now, he actually opens the door and lets them out. It is slow progression, but as long as I see it...I don't worry.

Oh my, Artana, I almost forgot about those things! Yep, no drinking or eating from other family member's plate or cup. Really, really freaked out over little bugs like a fly. Last year we had to stop horse riding lesson because dd couldn't stand the flies around the horse that unavoidably got on her arm or face. These issues went on for quite a while and now it's not as bad as it used to be. It seems like there's usually something going on in my dd's mind. But I agree, things do improve after a (long) while.

I agree with cricket- look into PANDAS- my son has it and if you can catch it early- it REALLY helps treatment!!! Let me know if you have any questions!!! The rash could be strep- do a blood test to check for titers!!! ASO and Anti-DNASE B. There is more i would throw in there i can let you know if you do go down that path. It is really worth testing!!
Brandy

We have a neighbor with the PANDAS diagnosis and he act like there is something in his body that is driving him crazy when this situation arises. Unfortunately for whatever reason, there is alot of strep at our neighborhood school.

I just wanted to hone in on the mention you made of eczema and throw out something just to think about...because my DD8 used to get this very badly when she was a toddler/early pre-K. Because of her behavioral reactions to chocolate we eliminated that from her diet (this is sooo hard!) and the behavior improved but, you know what, she's never, ever had eczema again. Last year she drank some hot chocolate and she acted a bit squirrely but not too bad, but one side of her face completely broken out.

I'm just throwing that out there to also consider diet in his whole package. The boy who has PANDAS also acts really unreasonable when he eats gluten foods. My DD is awful on artificial dyes, esp. Red 40. If she gets a new item of clothing that is dark and I don't wash it first, she gets a rash, and she can't use that cute colored soap that she's sometimes gotten as gifts because she gets a bad rash. We are very careful with soap.

Plenty of people say that there is no correlation to dyes/chemicals and children's behavior but I think food and all the chemicals must have some effect, either long term or immediate.

Anyway hope this helps. Sometimes the very sensitive kids are sensitive to the junk in their environment. We don't use any lawn chemicals, and household cleaning is all baking soda, vinegar etc.

If you really feel it's a sudden onset with a possibility of pandas then my understanding is the quicker the treatment the less long lasting the symptoms. Perhaps a visit to the pediatrician for the "regular 8 year checkup" might be in order... just discuss concerns in a phone call ahead of time and after, versus with DS in the room.

But besides Pandas -- my DS4 gets his difficult side of himself amplified if he is the least bit ill, it doesn't necessarily need to be pandas. Recently I noticed DS had been having meltdowns way more than I remembered, a bit more obsessive, just more bothered by everything that bothers him -- I was beginning to think of it as a new phase of his personality as it had been weeks since he'd had a day where he just rolled with things. Thinking back realized he'd also had smelly breath for something like a month, which we'd put down to us not getting him to brush enough. Still no idea what exactly it was (tonsils maybe?), but a course of azithromycin and his personality got a lot more pleasant in it seemed like not even 36 hours, and the breath too.

Would be ironic if there was a germ involved.

Polly

I have no idea if this will help but I have almost the exact opposite problem. My son learned somewhere about over washing of hands, sanitizers, etc. making immune systems weaker because there isn't as much exposure for which immunities can be developed. He also learned somewhere that picking his nose and eating what he finds boosts his immunity. He thinks of germ exposure as a challenge his immune system needs to meet head on. Anyway, I wonder if you could find some of that information and share it with your son. Maybe it would take the edge off the germ fear.

To chime in about PANDAS again- if you really suspect it- you need to find out if you pediatrician knows anything about it. Not all Dr's will diagnose- so starting with the right Dr is critical!!! If you know you are going to look into it, I can point you in the right direction for doctors and labs.
Brandy