Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion 'too much for other people to take'

Do you still feel, sometimes or all the time, like you are 'too much for other people to take?'

I know that I look 'super-outgoing' to most people, but I work really hard in most social situations not to blow people away. It's kind of sobering that me with my shields up past 100% still comes across as so intense.

I wondered if this is one of my unique quirks as a 'super-extrovert' or part of the bigger picture of how we gifties generally walk through the world.

I'd love to hear if folks used to feel this way, what changed, or if folks feel this way in some certian circumstances but not other, then which circumstances matter.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I'm a shy extrovert... yes, that's right. So I come across as snotty sometimes. And I'm so not. In fact, I'm quite the opposite. I am super self-conscious, so I have to force myself to feel comfortable doing what my brain says go for. I am VERY loud though, so it's probably best that I don't force too much!!! hhahaha.

Although I'm actually extremely introverted, most people remark on "how outgoing I am". Like you, I have to force myself to be extroverted or I'd end up being ridiculed...but at school, I am, as my best friend said, "very quiet but funny", or "We're like Yoda". So yeah, I do come across as either very extroverted or very introverted.

Hmm... I'm an outgoing introvert? (That took a while to happen, though... I was a total wallflower growing up.) What amuses me about myself is that I have a high interpersonal "IQ" and am particularly good (for the amount of experience I have) at helping others navigating political situations. But knowledge and skills don't always match, so I'm pretty good at putting my foot in my mouth -- and knowing it the moment I do.

Oh my, yes. I'm very intense. I also try very hard to keep the shields up. Problem is, I think, they don't block all the types of energy that I emit...there are times when I think I get a bit too intense even for this board.


For me, I think it's both.

I find I'm better in purely social situations. Over the years, I've learned how to function pretty well at parties or at the park with other parents, or wherever. My intensity becomes an issue for me when I'm at work and/or when I have an idea for something.

Perhaps I should get my kids tested. If one or more of them qualifies as a DYS, we could create a breakaway group for Intense Parents at the annual picnic. It would be interesting to see how things would go if we all felt free to be our versions of normal. Phew.

Val

I am a social introvert.

I train adults for a living. I really enjoy training them, and find myself very energetic and enthusiastic when in front of them. But, I also feel like I am "on" constantly. To recharge, I tend to read or bake. So, I am introverted...but if you get me talking I am definitely very animated and likely to speak from the heart.

I didn't know before that I was intense. People told me but I didn't know what they meant. I had no idea I was "different" that way.

Then I met some gifted people and finally realized what those other people meant when they said I was intense. So, now I really reel it in and keep a lid on it. Sometimes it is hard when I'm excited/upset about something.

I must've blown people away before I knew this about myself. They couldn't help me because they had no idea why I was like this, of course. They could only tell me that I was intense. But I couldn't see it myself what the difference was. (And really, why aren't other people more intense about stuff, didn't they care? etc etc)

It makes me really sad that I've spent more than half my life oblivious to who I was as a person and just getting weird looks and not knowing why. What was wrong with me? But apparently this is all normal for those on the 'bright' end of things. (This is the only place in the world I would say this. Heheh)

And so, to answer your question, yes, I would be too much for other people to take if I didn't keep a lid on it.

Totally right there with you!! This thread really reminds me of how intense I can be. Extroverted squared, I guess. When I was a kid, I had a really hard time turning it off- was always overly enthusiastic, my facial expression and verbal intonation are very vibrant. When in a group of people I know, I feel a real BUZZ going through my system and according to my DH, I light up light a Christmas tree.
Sometimes that can be great for work- networking/schmoozing/socializing I do well. Sometimes not so good, if I am having a professional discussion I feel excited about- interesting neurological sequellae of a stroke or something that grabs my focus, I sometimes come across as overeager and ditzy, I think. I once had a radiologist tell me I shouldn't smile so much, that people will think I'm dense.

I had a dream trio of friends in FL, (I moved away, sob), and they were so entertained and charmed by my lively nature. I have yet to find their equivalents up here. I really reel myself in now in most social situations. totally frustrating, but I think I am waaay too intense and others would think I'm a spaz.

I am intense pretty much all the time. I read Buddhist books to try and take the edge off (for myself and others). It's only in the past couple of years that I've become aware of my intensity. The books help take it down a notch. I tend to spend time with people that can handle it. Ironically, I find that other intense people make me feel crazy in large doses. Despite this, I truly love intense people. Really calm people scare me. Honestly!!!

My DD is even more intense. We homeschool and, if anyone could overheard a typical day they would definitely tell me to put her back in school:)

Thanks to everyone for sharing the stories - they really trigger so many memories for me.

At one job, a boss asked me, very politely I guess, would I please try to greet him less enthusiastically. I had to clown around at acting mopey when I saw him. Not sure if that did the trick.

And yes, I do have a reputation for being ditzy - females who smile alot can get that I think, no matter what the job title says.

Years ago, in my mid 20s, I planned a training session. I jam-packed it full of what I considered to be interesting and helpful stuff, trying to take care of my audience. Another woman on the planning committee shared that she thought that I totally overwhelmed everyone, and didn't I realize that people need time to process new information? The day did have a bit of a 'forced march' flavor. Actually I didn't realize. In retrospect I probably was 'treating people the way you'd like to be treated.' LOL@me!

((hugs)) to all of us!