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For me, the issue is not so much "are there guns in the house", but what's the character of the people whose house I'm letting my son go into. Fortunately, it hasn't really even come up as DS prefers not to be inside someone else's house.

I personally don't care if there are guns in the house - if so, I'd like to know that they're locked up in an appropriate fashion when children are present. (I should say that if someone said "yep, I've got guns and I just leave them out and around", of course, I wouldn't allow DS to go over there.) However, I feel that the most important thing we can do is to educate/inform DS of what to do and how to handle himself so that *he* will respond appropriately if/when faced with a situation. Those things include notifying an adult that someone has a weapon out, leaving immediately, so on and so forth.

We can't always control what other people do or don't do, but hopefully, some education and common sense will help to keep DS safe even in a potentially unsafe environment.

In Texas, you assume everyone is armed.

In general, from my experience, there is no way to tell by looking at anyone if they own guns or are armed.

I would never ask someone I did not know well about guns. And because it is a crime to reveal that you are carrying concealed in Texas, most people who are would change the subject or lie to you anyway.

If I visit a home and see weapons casually out in the open, and its not hunting season, I would be worried. If someone brags about guns and what they own, I would be concerned. I'd also be concerned if kids constantly bragged about their parents' guns. These are signs of carelessness.

In contrast, responsible people will be discreet.

All things being equal, I would prefer my kids to visit homes where one responsible adult had access to a weapon and knew how to use it. It does not need be a gun - a bat or a sword or a stick or a knife will work just fine.

The argument over weapons cuts a different way with me. If someone was an avowed pacifist, I would not leave my kin with them because I know they will not protect my family.


Would you feel comfortable letting violent criminals have access to such a site?

A criminal could get a name from a car license plate and then reliably find out who does not own guns and target them exclusively.

Large barking dogs are a pretty good (and obvious, unlike guns) deterrent.

And of course, I'd be concerned about letting my kids play in a house with Pit Bulls. Goofy Boxers, not so much.

Val

I am the WORST when it comes to letting my kids have playdates (without me) and letting them just play outside... of course, they can play in the backyard anytime they want as long as they let me know they are out there. DD4 is too young, imo, to be in the front by herself. She also has no concept of looking for cars and whatnot. We can't even block the driveway for her to ride her bike there... she will find her way into the street.

I feel the same way about DD and the front yard and we live in a fairly quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac with a huge side yard but I'm just not comfortable with leaving her outside by herself; maybe when she is 5 or 6.

As for guns, might be Texas but we have a gun too. It is locked in a safe and we never talk about it. I suspect there are a lot of neighbors who have one. When DD is old enough we will explain the gun and DH will take her out to a gun range to shoot one. I feel it is important to discuss it and make the point of the dangers of it all, but certainly for now she will never see it.

It's not just Texas that many have guns! They are everywhere. I think what is important is not whether or not there is one in the home, but what safety precautions are in place if they are in the home. Are they locked in a safe? if yes, then there is no more harm than being in a home without them at all. there are more people that have them they most people who don't have them can even imagine. Safety should be the number one concern and I agree that I am more concerned about the parents and what type of people they are. then you see what sort of measures they take for safety if there are guns in the home. Many of my children's friends' parents are police officers and yes, they all have guns in the home. If the guns are securely locked up and not accessible, then you are in no more danger than a home that doesn't have one. I don't ask people if they have them. I tend to know all the parents my children play with and they have similar views and parenting as I do. the ones that don't, I stay when they go there, or we meet at a park or something if I am not comfortable leaving my child there. My DC 8, was invited to a sleepover party this year. I, for one, thought this was too young, and I didn't know the mom at all. So, I let DC go to the party and then picked her up at 9:30pm. She was glad not to sleepover too as she didn't know the mom either. The girl also has an older sibling, and without knowing the family, I am not comfortable with that. DC and I discuss that we just don't do sleepovers at this age and if she wants to sleep at Gparents or whatnot, that's fine, but when I don't know the family, I'd prefer not to.