Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy blowing off the 2nd grade

My son will turn 7 in July and is completing 2nd grade, having started KG at 4. He scored high enough on the SCAT to qualify for the CTY programs in math and language arts. He gets weekly homework, which he does after some prodding (the work is not difficult), but he never turns it in on time. It's up to him to give the teacher his folder, but he is too busy playing. In general he seems to regard school as a social experience. His teacher says he is advanced in reading and math but rarely puts forth his best work.

On this forum and in books about gifted children, especially boys, who refuse to comply with their teachers because they are not learning anything. In his case I think it's a matter of prioritizing fun over school work. I am not worried about his falling behind academically but about his developing bad habits that will hurt him when grades start to count. He is a voracious reader at home.

I guess the general question is whether we should really be after him to take his schoolwork more seriously or just let time pass and hope he grows up. Many boys his age are in KG. My wife was a serious student in school from the beginning, whereas I "woke up" around the 7th grade. I am more in the "wait and see" camp than she is. I don't want too much scolding at home to distract him from the informal (but real) learning he does.

DS6 is very similar. For him, he'd write very sloppy (almost illegible) when something was easy, homework-wise. We'd make him redo it. When he's "into" something, he writes better than most girls that were in 1st this past year. I was always one to rush through to finish work, and though I was not sloppy, I would miss easy questions, etc. This did bite me in the backside as I got older (especially college). So for us, we do stress the importance for DS to turn in his work, take his time and review (something I was HORRIBLE with), etc. He lost a library book (though I still think he turned it in), and while we paid the fee the first time, he know he'd have to pay it if he did it another time.

Teaching responsibility is just as important as academics, imo.

Perhaps a more structured classroom where "fun" is not an option when it is time to turn in work folders would be helpful.

It is unfortunate but true that he will have to learn at some point to do at least some work that he's not thrilled with. That's one downside of school, but it carries through to adult life too. I agree that teaching responsibility is important, and it might be a boon that this problem came up so early. I also think that the school / teacher may not be doing the best job of teaching responsibility.

Maybe one way to leave him free to also learn on his own would be to discuss it with him, and have him promise to set aside enough time to do his homework, which he can do at any time he pleases. Then, if he doesn't do it, you can progress to scheduling time for him to do homework, again at times he chooses. After that, go to a parent-imposed schedule with healthy blocks of self-directed time.