Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Questions, Interpretations, and Gobblygook!

My son, age 11, was put through the gamut of testing for the Initial Evaluation for IDEA. He was having issues at his school last year(2008-2009), so they skipped him to 6th grade (2009-2010) to challenge him. They at first pushed to skip him two grade levels, but I refused. I think it was more to get him out of his school than to benefit him, but hindsight is 20/20, and I might be a bit biased against the school.

His WISC-IV scores are:

VCI: 124
(scaled scores for subtests)
Similarities: 14
Vocabulary: 15
Comprehension: 13

PRI: 135
Block Design: 15
Picture Concepts: 16
Matrix Reasoning: 16

WMI: 86
Digit Span: 11
Letter-Number seq: 4

PSI: 78
Coding: 3
Symbol Search: 9

The school district has diagnosed him as ED and Aspergers, however general consensus is that the ED is merely a symptom of a lack of support for the Aspergers difficulties. He was like the lame wolf at the 6th grade middle school, and the rest of the kids were malnourished and starving, it turned into 3/4 of the PE class bullying, harassing, destroying my child.

We moved him from middle school 6th, to a smaller elementary school. Issues at that placement with the teacher who just refused to understand that he couldn't help being him. He was then in February 2010 moved to an all-inclusive ED classroom. He didn't flourish but neither did he sink, and fear was a tactic used in that classroom.

In Texas for Kindergarten he was placed in a gifted program after scoring in the 99th percentile on the NNAT.

He's always been an original kind of kid, one that made me fall in love with him everyday. He is the 2nd oldest of five children. All of the kids have FSIQs in the 130's. He was reading chapter books by 4 years old, at 5 his favorite subject was infinity, in first grade he did pre-algebra for fun. At one people mistook him for a three year old by how articulate he was, and oh my God the obsession with the human body books. I must have bought 30 different ones, so he could consume them over and over. When he made me tuck in his best friend (a rolling child's suitcase) I did with love and tenderness. When the suitcase evolved into the 2 x 4, I helped him include his BFF in our activities.

What did I do wrong? It is like he's regressed? He has been diagnosed 4 years gross motor delayed, I thought it was cute at 2 when he walked on his tip toes. I thought it was funny when he was 4 and couldn't grasp the concept of throwing yourself onto the slip 'n slide. I adored how he would seem to trip over his feet at 6, like a great overgrown puppy.

None of these things bothered me, because it was just him. It was just like him to answer the door at 3, stark naked, wearing his sister's easter hat and purse to greet my ex-husband's coworkers at a dinner party. Those are my most cherished memories, yet they tell me they were signs. Signs of what? A child who brought joy, smiles, and love every where he went? If those are signs of anything, I think the world then needs more of them.

I don't "get" why his processing and memory scores are so low. I admit he is a slow to go kid, but just another thing I accepted... but something the school hates most. He is in the GATE program, and they continue to talk about how "profoundly gifted" he is (his WIAT scores not including written were 99.9th percentile), and his CA STAR tests are well above proficient levels. His written work is non-existent, he uses a really weird grip that the OT said is now "locked-in".

His favorite subjects are science and transformers. He has no friends, and they say his social skills are way way below age level. He only really gets along with his yonger brother, age 9, who has kind of similar OCD tendecies for some of the same things. My youngest son, age 6, was diagnosed with Pragmatic Speech Disorder and Emotional Withdrawal two weeks ago, and his symptoms mimic aspergers very closely. I am confused about that but that's an entirely different post. Suffice to say, only one of my five has been cleared of any learning disability my youngest daughter, age 8.

The doctors have asked me if I have thought about doing genetic testing, my reply "for what?"

I am not quite sure how to phrase my questions, other than why? Did I do something or not do something? When they were all babies we have such a fabulous time playing at home, making up ideas for our community dream home, who we'd help if we won a million dollars, etc. I didn't have to worry about if someone is going to try and take advantage of his naive and trusting self. I don't worry that someone's going to say something vicious, but he thinks they are saying in a joke between "friends" way, "Mommy, she's my friend. Mommy, it's okay that she calls me fatty. She is my friend, Mommy." I am choking up, as that was when I started realizing he doesn't understand.

I am traumatized by what happened at the middle school to him, he is now supposed to go to another middle school into another ED classroom, and I just can't do it. I am looking into homeschooling him. But I also think something else is wrong? Why would his working memory and processing speed be so low, and why is he reverting in behavior and coping skills? Is this going to happen to my other two boys?

I am severe ADHD (GATE in grade school) myself. Did I somehow cause this? Was I ignoring the signs when he was younger? I just feel like everything has moved so fast, from us just having the daily struggle to something new and yes it makes me feel that I am inadequate or some how failing him (all my boys really). His cognitive ability has gone down, his ability to cope, etc. All I want for him is to be able to productively go in pursuit of happiness and succeed in life as a capable healthy adult, but I am not sure how we are going to get there.

I want to stand there one day, and say "Baby, you did it. You did it."

I, too, have a child with avg WMI and PSI indices although a little higher than your ds'. My dd9 has somewhat higher VCI scores than your ds and somewhat lower PRI scores, although it is a similar pattern. Her VCI/PRI index scores are less consistent, though b/c they vary from 19-12, for instance, on VCI rather than clustering around one another. Her WMI and PSI scores are the ones that have less of a spread than your ds. My dd does not have Asperger's though.

We, too, have seen a lot of emotional damage based on schooling experiences up to the year before last. Last year wasn't terrible, but I still feel like having her home might be a better fit for her emotional wellbeing. I'm trying to find a way to make that work.

You mention wanting to homeschool your son as well. Is that a possibility financially and otherwise? (You mention being divorced, so I don't know if you are needing to work outside of the home.) Could you consider some mix of hs and community college courses?

I'd agree with the others that an ED classroom doesn't seem to be the place for a twice exceptional child unless there is something else significant going on. Even if there is, it seems like there is more of a focus on his weaknesses than his strengths, which isn't good for his self image.

I don't think that you did anything wrong in not noting something being different about your boy earlier on. Different doesn't necessarily mean dysfunctional nor does it mean that he needs intervention or treatment for his differences unless they are distressing to him or making it such that he can't function. Perhaps a better learning environment fit might make those things that appear to need fixing right now again appear to be fine variations on personality.

Emmy V!
Welcome!

I was so touched reading your post - your descriptions of your son and how you treasure him brought tears to my eyes. I wish for every child to be so noticed and treasured.

I don't think having average Processing Speed, or Working Memory is the sign of something wrong - just something to take into account as you plan for his education.

Is it your fault? Oh no! If you were a different person, you would have made different choices, but you would have had different weaknesses as well. I think that one of the gifts of ADHD is a fresh view of the world and the ability to really enjoy to small pleasures of parenting. We have to sort of face that those of us who see the world differently, choose partners who see the world differently and have kids who see the world differently, most of the time.

I also think that part of being unique is recognizing our uniqueness and recuriting others who have more mainstream viewpoints to be part of our support team - as long as they have genuine love to share with their mainstream wisdom. We have so much to offer - why not recieve as well?

As far as the 'locked - in pencil grip' - I would not nescessarily believe that it can't be changed, although keyboarding will probably allow much more freedom of expression.

It is sad that the world isn't offering some help with your son's education though. I have faith that the more you post, the more you put your mind to all the possiblities, and the more you learn through trial and error, the better fit school situation you will find for your children. I really believe that a Higher Power created all of us for our own purpose - and diversity is one of the blessings to help us each have our own purpose. We aren't single cell organisims - splitting identically time after time until a local place is filled with identical daughter cells.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

I don't have anything to offer but just some hugs. And to ask a question...what is an ED diagnosis/classroom?

Dazey

In our district, ED stands for "emotionally disturbed," although I've seen it used to stand for "emotionally disabled" as well.

I first want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for not just saying I need to accept. Thank you for not saying stop questioning. Just thank you.

I struggle between wanting MORE for him, without making him feel LESS.

One thing that has stayed with me, is that I was told that he has no intrinsic motivation. So most discipline systems do not work with him, positive reinforcements only work... if the prize is worth something to him. But isn't this true of most people?

Just because he isn't motivated by materialistic things (maybe like I am a bit LOL I really do love shoes) doesn't mean he isn't motivated. He doesn't know HOW to share his feelings. Or to really put a name on them. One of the Emotionally Disturbed "ED" categories was for being aTypical. I think they took the things that are Aspergers, and twisted them into ED. He is a typical Aspie child who is sensitive and emotionally overrun (wears his heart on a sleeve).

Homeschool, homeschool, homeschool.

Not every child "fits" into an institutional setting, or benefits from institutional teaching.

If you minimize his weaknesses, he has the opportunity to play to his strengths, instead of continuously being criticized for not being like everyone else. He is *not* like everyone else (and this is a GOOD thing!!!), and middle school is the worst place for him to be.

He seems to have hunkered down, trying to deal with the institutional setting. See how he reacts if you suggest that he *doesn't* have to go back... He cannot be himself at school - he needs to be set free.