Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional At wits end

Help...
We are at our wits end and have no idea what to do next.

DS (#2) is 10 years old and currently in 6th grade. The various tests that have been done over the course of the last 5 years by everyone from the school to the local (well respected) children's neuropsychology department have given us some insights into him. And he is under IEP with the school he's at.

He has a very very developed visual spacial learning style (normed against kids 4-6 years older than he is, he is at the 99.9%). His verbal/language skills are significantly below that (normed against the same age group 10 years his seniors he's in the 76%). Leaving us with a functional "learning disability". However, his composite IQ scores (depending on which test set is used) still max him out as high IQ or "gifted" and his individual scores in verbal also place him as "gifted". So the school refuses to see the delta as a "deficit or account for it.

On top of his giftedness, he is also Obsessive Compulsive (OCD), Sensory Processing Disorder(SPD - Hyper sensitive in 5 of 6 senses), and Mood Disorder NOS (suspected bipolar).
He's a "behavior problem" in school for so many reasons. Not the lease of which is the combination of all the above mental issues.

We have no idea what to do with this child when it comes to school. He is in the charter school recommended as the CAP program locally. When he is interested in something he goes well beyond the teacher in minutes or hours... when he is not interested in the topic he is a behavior problem that has required a full time aide to deal with him. Going beyone refusal to work.

He is clinically depressed and in therapy. Homeschooling is NOT an option for more reasons than I care to go into.

Does anyone have ANY ideas on what else we can try??? We are desperate.

I'm new to the Twice Exceptional family (DS has autism), but one of the first things I read was that gifted and LD do NOT cancel each other out. So your school refusing to see the deficit as a problem and refusing to accommodate for it is wrong. What does your IEP have in it if it is not addressing these problems? I would request an IEP meeting and (another?) functional behavior assessment to get a better behavior plan in place. He's having behavior problems that interfere with school work...that is exactly what the school is supposed to be dealing with. If you can, bring in the experts who diagnosed and are treating him outside the school. Schools LOVE to listen to them instead of "just a mom."

My son is only 7, and we have been tweaking his IEP and behavior plan since he first got them at age 3. I know it will be a never ending problem. I feel "at wit's end" at times, also...but you have got to keep trying over and over!! I ask myself, "Does he belong in an institution? No, of course not! Should he be in the autism unit? No, of course not!" So I keep working with the school to find a solution over and over and over again. Right now, we have things set up with a new school, but he has 2 weeks left in his current school and he is causing trouble. It is a constant roller coaster and I understand your desperation. Nan

Hi, have you applied to the Davidson Youth Scholar program to get the help of one of their advisors for his schooling situation?

One idea is to look into the local private schools and see if there are any that can teach to his strengths while supporting his bottlenecks. Perhaps the school can pay for it if they say they can't provide him an appropriate education, or Financial Aid?

Another idea is to get him a Mentor who can meet with him outside of school to work together in his extra-strong area of visual-spacial.

Another idea is the book: Re-Forming Gifted Education, which lists many suggestions for enrichment.

You didn't say if the rest of the family is also getting therapy/support, but if not, then it seems that 'putting on one's Oxygen mask first' is a good idea.

Idea: keep venting here about all the specifics of what he enjoys - perhaps someone else will know of more resources to throw his way.

Idea: join the state or local gifted association and see if there are summer or saturday enrichment class offered within driving distance.

Idea: Keep meeting with the school and complimenting every effort they make in his direction. Keep giving them strong praise for how they inspired your son to learn about X.

Idea: keep looking for extracurricular activities that your son will do that will put him in touch with 'peers.' Some of your son's peers will be his age, some will be older kids, some will be adults.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

What experiences do 2E families have with the DYS program? Is anyone using this service for a 2E kid? What's valuable there?

As Grinity says, love and more love --- and actual advice is coming later. You've got a real one.

Is the full-time aide good for him? She could keep him interested in other materials when he has completed his work. I'd look into working with the aide and his relationship with her.

He has a very very developed visual spacial learning style (normed against kids 4-6 years older than he is, he is at the 99.9%). His verbal/language skills are significantly below that (normed against the same age group 10 years his seniors he's in the 76%). Leaving us with a functional "learning disability". However, his composite IQ scores (depending on which test set is used) still max him out as high IQ or "gifted" and his individual scores in verbal also place him as "gifted". So the school refuses to see the delta as a "deficit or account for it.

Maelyn, what they are doing is not legal.
Per L.I. vs Maine School Attendance District (January 2007), the school experience is defined to include more than just graded academics. If your son has a deficit in an area-- such as social skills or executive functioning-- which impacts the educational experience, they must respond.

Personally, I found that printing out the entire legal brief and highlighting the appropriate parts, placing one copy prominently on the table during IEP meetings and giving another to the LEA representative, was a great visual aide.

Here's the link: http://www.aspires-relationships.com/Maine%20SAD55%20%28D.Me.%202006%29.pdf