I have not been on here long, and certainly have not been great at getting schools to meet the needs of my dcs. I'm sure some on here have had more success than I have had, and they will probably have suggestions relating to how to work with your child's school.
In my family, we have learned and come to accept that we would have to provide 98% of the education my kids needed. This seemed especially true in lower school. One of my kids has done Stanford EPGY online (through their very expensive individual program) but we now have an ability to do the same program through epgy "Open enrollment" which is easier and less expensive by far (thanks to a very generous person on this board who devotes time to setting up the Open enrollment group). You can learn more by searching EPGY on this board. I think if you can sign your child up for something like that (epgy) it will be a good start. We looked into CTY (and my dc who tested there last year is now qualified for both verbal and math courses in cty), but that takes longer and is more expensive than epgy open enrollment.
Maybe it is because both dh and I are mathematicians by training (dh in topology and me in logic) that our kids are good at abstract reasoning (very good), and we find these strengths are not well represented among lower school teachers (although there are exceptions). We have had the experience that in grades 1 -4, the teachers have been totally unable to teach to these areas of strength in our kids. I find trying to get the schools to meet the kids' needs is an uphill battle, and for us it has been easier to assume school is more about social opportunity, and the real learning will take place outside of school. I've seen numerous gifted programs and honestly have never been impressed that they would be of much more help. There will probably be others on here who will disagree, and who may be able to offer helpful advice about such programs. Offering your child EPGY (which can be done autonomously by your child, without much time needed from you directly) and supplementing with good books at home (for your child to read) IMO will probably be better than 95% of the gifted programs available. That fits with our experience at least.
If others out there have had more luck with gifted programs, maybe they will be able to offer advice about obtaining such programming from the school. Good luck. It is all very frustrating, I know, but in my experience it does get a little easier when the kids are older, at which time they can assume even more responsibility for educating themselves.
