Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional middle school dilemma: super G&T or Aspie program?

I just wanted to add to your difficulties :-) by playing devil's advocate and pointing out that it's not very surprising if, on a GT board, you find a preponderance of people suggesting you give highest priority to your son's GT needs! I rather hope you're also posting about this dilemma on a good ASD support board, assuming there is such a thing?

Concretely, if you do decide to spurn Cozy Middle AS and wait in the hope of a G&T middle place, I'd suggest writing a very nice letter to the director of the AS programme there mentioning all the things you were impressed by, and saying that it was a really difficult decision which you've agnonized over, but that (really carefully word this bit!) in the end you felt that G&T middle would be in a better position to meet your son's other special needs, viz. giftedness. Couldn't do any harm, and might possibly help you if you were later trying to to get him in there.

It sounds like you have the idea that AS kids are happiest when there are other AS kids around. Or that teachers can do much to help kids enjoy each other. I don't know if this is true or false, but I'll bet others here have some experience with this. I do know that a teacher can encourage kids to be mean to a child, but I'm must less optimistic that a good teacher or group of good teachers can be effective in promoting children getting along with each other.

Any BTDTs here?

Grinity

Only you can decide what is best for your child.

Taking your above statement and the diagnosis at 11, my concern would be placing the whole emphasis of his school life on this one area without account for his giftedness. It would be like making the kid who doesn't like and stuggles with math, do math all day long.

I would discuss what could be done at the GT school with IEP accomodations.

It can't hurt to write a letter to the Cozy school, just in case.

Excellent point!

My DD does more game playing, and working with another student on social skills with the social worker. The speech therapist works with the pragmatics, so they work on vague statements, idioms, rules of conversation, inference meaning, etc. They also use a book of social skills. Usually the speech therapist will work on something and then they will practice it with the social worker and another student.

The planner was written in that she would have a daily planner of assignments and homework that is checked by the teacher and then I sign it each night and send it back. She would wirte as much as she could and the teacher would edit and add as necessary. This will carry over to any classes in the middle school.

Keyboarding made a big difference in her writing. At her last IEP we were all amazed when comparing writing from just a year ago to now.

What a great idea! Your dd makes the start, and then each teacher adds, so she can see what she was missing! I will try to get this added to DS's IEP.

What book is the social worker using for social skills?

It's taken me so long to get back here because I've been posting and responding on other lists. The 2E list seems to be a little more worried about dealing with Aspie life skills challenges first, before academic accommodation. Another local list serv source told me her daughter got teased on a daily basis at G&T Middle and that the science teacher that DS would have would be wonderful.

Grinity, you are right. It is quite true that just having that extra teacher at Cozy won't necessarily keep kids from being mean.

I am still completely undecided! My plan is to call both schools Monday and see if I can meet with the principals.

Once we make a decision, I'll try to follow your advice, Dottie, and not second-guess. Thanks, Dottie, for your support!

And thanks also, Colin's mum, for the idea to send a gracious rejection letter to Cozy if we decide against it. Perhaps it would ease things if we wound up not getting G&T Middle or having to leave in a hurry.

I think for us, afterschooling to provide academic challenge might be harder than getting out of school help for ASD and executive functioning.

I can't do academic afterschool myself because it causes huge strife. DS suffers from Goldilocks syndrome, where whatever I give him is either too hard or too easy, and both seem to lead to meltdowns. He seems to do much better at controlling himself when taught by someone else.

DH is very patient but has little insight into what's causing the meltdowns and so often just exacerbates the anxiety and the meltdown.

While there are lots of academic afterschool opportunities in my very large city, most are right after school, AND not nearby and neither DH nor I would be available to take him. Also, we're in a city with a lot of wealth and lots of activities are priced beyond our means, even though we are middle class, just because great providers can charge much, much more and get it.

In addition, I haven't found anything else that would provide a just-right pace, opportunity to work with true peers at his LOG, and provide work-arounds for his writing problems. For example, there is a nearby afterschool science program, but it's geared for younger kids and nothing covered would be new content for him. More advanced science seems to be geared for older kids and require more math than he's had.

The distance learning classes offered by CTY seem to require more writing than he would be willing to handle voluntarily.

However, we are in a big metro area with lots of ASD kids and kids with executive function issues, and I think he would be willing to go to something based on social skills.

OK, I am workign this out as I am writing!

Thanks for listening in and giving your advice and support.

I am searching for afterschool help with the social skills issues and executive functioning and hoping we have better luck with location, time and pricing there.

Philosophically, I think when I have to make this kind of decision I try to play to my kids' strengths. Developing their strengths is going to help them overcome their weaknesses.

If your DS is in an environment with other kids at his cognitive level and who share interests with him, he is going to have many more opportunities for successful social interactions. I am speaking from personal experience... I have been told (as an adult) by professionals that I am "Aspergery" although the diagnosis did not exist when I was a child. I was certainly more severely affected as a child--regular public school was torture. The three years I spent at a GT middle/high school were the best of my K-12 experience. They were the only years where I felt that I fit in at all.

We are using this book http://www.amazon.com/Social-Skills...d=I13MYSVRS8N9P8&colid=2WJQ43ZCKJOM5 there is also a younger version that they sometimes use by the same author.