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I don't see the problem with dabbling as long as children understand that if you pay for a certain number of lessons,they need to to try it for a certain amount of time. DD7 is not big on her dance lessons right now but she'll finish up the session and can try something else when dance is finished.

I like to give my kids a choice in the sports they do. If they want to quit they need to wait until the season is over. My kids are 7 & 9. I try not to push them but instead nudge them along. If they want to be better at a sport then they could practice more and that would feel good. I want them to learn to please them selves and feel successful. I'm trying to focus on their effort more than the outcome.

I would suggest if you are conserned about what is happening in sports have a talk with her. It may help both of you understand and think about things in a different way.

When we were spending more time in tears or unhappiness than enjoyment, we told DC that we would take a break after xx amount of time (usually, like inky and OTGmom, the amount of tuition we committed already). During this time, we still tried and usually there were more tears. But it really helped DC to know that there were lights at the end of the tunnel and so they were a bit more upbeat. After a period of break, sometimes we returned to the activity, sometime we never did. With the concept of "taking a break," DC also know that they have the option to return should they choose.

We have been worrying about what kind of message quitting would send to the children.... Then we thought about our own childhood. From the kids' persepective, what kind of message are we sending if we know they are miserable but don't try to change it?

For us, we try to choose our battles--the essentials (math) they can take their time but cannot quit, the fun (swimming, piano) we let them quit if they are truly miserable. The bottom line is, when they are miserable, we (parents) are miserable too. Not to mention, when they grow up, often they will remember these miserable moments. We have a cousin, who is an accomplished pianist, but hated every minute of it. As soon as she left for college, she rarely ever touch the piano again....

Have a talk with your DD. Maybe the problem isn't the sport itself but the coach? pool? other kids? And if her interest really has changed, as you probably know already.... some of these activities have trial classes for free. Does your city's (or sometimes nearby cities) have Park and Rec department? Many of the courses offered are great as "trial" classes and at much reasonable price. Sometimes, they even provide supplies (balls, instruments) so that you don't have to buy them up front.

Hope this helps...
Mag

She tries something, does well, and moves on to something else. This might just be what she needs to do in order to find out her true passion. I think 8 is a perfect age to dabble. Yes some kids might be really good at the first thing that they try, but it doesn't mean that this is the thing that they love the most or the only thing they are good at. I'd say, if you can afford, let her try different things for a while and see whether she gravitates toward certain areas. Sticking to something is good in that the kid will have focus and is likely to do well. But it also means less time to discover a possible "true" passion in something else.

My DS9 also has many interests and also excels at many things. Recently he started focusing on music and chess, so we let him decide what other activites he wants to drop and let him choose more chess and music activities. I think whether quitting is OK really depends on the reason behind it.

I also don't arrange for my two kids to do the same activities out of convenience, I think lots of parents do it but this would not help the younger kid develop his/her own identity. My two kids are fairly different in their interests so I try to give my younger one more room so that she will develop her own interests independently of her brother's. Easier said than done, though, the money and time that parents put in kids activities can get pretty scary.

This made me think of Andre Agassi:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/oct/29/andre-agassi-hate-tennis
Another account discussed how he did not choose tennis but had an incredible amount of pressure from his father.
http://tennis.fanhouse.com/2009/11/08/andre-agassi-remorseful-on-60-minutes/

This sort of makes it sounds as though she's dissatisfied both ways - when she is challenged and when she is not challenged. I think more clarification in a couple of areas would be helpful:

Did she win everything in the 8 and under category?
Has she ever lost? How does she generally deal with losing?
What the schedule for participation in this activity like?
What is the level of competition? For example, how big is your district? Do the older kids typically go on to compete at the college level? Division I?

I just don't think it's clear what's going on here.

Maybe there is a lot of pressure. If it's real maybe she should quit. If it's self-imposed, maybe this is a learning opportunity.

If there's not a lot of pressure, maybe she does need to suck it up for the convenience of the family.

My children both dislike doing the piano. I couldn't care less. They are good at it and I think the lesson that consistent practice = progress is very valuable and not easy to demonstrate to young children. However, much as they say they dislike it, they consider it an inconvenience. It doesn't cause them any real distress and I think this is very healthy. Everyone has to do things they don't like and a healthy person should be able to deal with it.

But...if you daughter is practicing everyday and dealing with rushing to practices and showering in a noisy locker room and having to bundle up in the cold...well, that could legitimately be too much for an 8 y.o.

Master of None: You are a super mom! How do you fit in all these activities?! Hope you find time for yourself now and then to relax and recharge your battery!

Master,
Nope you are doing a great job parenting!

Dh and I face a similar but different issue with our son (almost 11.) He tries lots of activities and enjoys them for a limited amount of time. He always does well at them until suddenly he has no interest in progressing any further in the material/skills. It isn't a case that the skills suddenly need more practice or are a challenge. It is just that after a year maybe 2, he feels he has learned enough from the instructor and doesn't want to do it anymore.

In conversation, he says that he just wants to be left alone to try things the way he sees them in his head and not have to do everything exactly like the instructor/coach tells him. He says that school is bad enough, he doesn't want more do as I say in his fun time. He said that he just feels like all his thoughts get jammed up behind a wall and whatever activity just isn't fun anymore.

I hate to see him give up on activities that he has really enjoyed. On the otherhand, he struggles so much to keep it together and do what his teachers want in school, that more of the same out of school seems unfair.

She could quit now and then go back to it in a few years when the practices would include more extended swimming and some of the other kids have improved.

Honestly, if she's frustrated about not getting ENOUGH exercise from it why put her (and you) through it?

There's nothing wrong with doing something until you develop a baseline set of skills and then moving on. She needed to learn how to swim and she did.