Hi Cat,
Sounds like you have put lots of thoughts and work!
It's interesting: we also live in a district where "the average IQ in our school district is 115." "Everyone is challenged at his/her level." But once we obtained the two magical pieces of data-IQ and achievement scores-for DD, the school realized that DD might actually needs something different. You probably have seen my recent post: our rational is that different levels of special needs children require different interventions, different levels (subject areas) of giftedness require different educational plan.
You might have done these already, but just in case:
1. Know your state and district policies/services for the GT students. I thought I knew, but the day before the meeting, I read about the policies one more time. That's when I realized that in addition to the regular GT group programs, there is the "level 4" service that offers individualized educational plans.
2. Know what you want, have suggestions on how to accomplish the goal, and anticipate possible "but..." For example, with math, we have suggested possible online math learning or attend "above-grade" math classes or current teacher obtain "above-level" grade math worksheets/activities from "above-level" grade teachers for DS to work in class during the regular math time, etc.
For us, we had the plan in mind, but we actually asked them for their suggestions first to see what have they done before and what they are willing to try.
3. I think having the GT coordinator at the meeting is a great idea. Our GT coordinator offered many good suggestions. Also, is there one particular teacher in school who actually sees your son's ability and can be on your side? I think having someone from the school to support your son and yourself at the meeting can go a long way.
Last few suggestions are from wonderful people on this forum:
1. Offer your help, make them feel like you are working together as a team.
2. Be positive (although this was kind of hard considering we heard so many stories of uphill battles).
3. Write down notes during the meeting. After the meeting, type up the note and send a follow-up summary to everyone at the meeting. (And if there are any unfinished business, make a follow-up appointment before the conclusion of the meeting.)
4. At the end of the meeting, we did try to summarize the meeting by saying, "Just to summarize what we discussed here.... and I believe the principle will check on this... and the counselor will get back to us on this... etc."
5. Plan some fun activities after the meeting.
And, if you have not done so, check out this link
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10286.aspx. It will lead to many other useful resources.
Hope this helps.... and good luck! We will be rooting for you!
Mag