Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments PS to homeschooling 3rd grade-what was it like?

I'm 80% sure I want to homeschool DS9. The 20% is I'm frightened, of course, who isn't? He now has significant perfectionism and anxiety issues around learning. I would really appreciate if anyone has stories about what the transition was like to homeschooling and what worked for their challenges. You guys are awesome! Thank you-

We transferred from a academic pre-school to homeschooling for K so it certainly won't be the same as your experience but we began with a lot of "field trips" and "explorations." I did this mostly to break some of the frustration with general bookwork (worksheets) and to get DS excited about homeschooling.

For example, we'd go to a state park. Explore the area(using magnifying glasses, binoculars, etc.) often looking for something in particular -i.e. cactus wrens. We'd then follow-up with a trip to the library to get every book we could find about cactus wrens. Then, we'd journal about it or incorporate more "school-like" work related to the theme.

Overall, we did this relaxed exploration time for a few weeks before really diving into any formal curriculum. It seemed to ease the transistion time (for both of us -parent and child!).

Also, daily or weekly agendas of what we intend to accomplish seem to help DS too. We don't always stick to them 100% but it helps to provide the structure that I can't seem to provide while homeschooling.

Good luck!

we were in the same boat as you with DS7...The best advice we got was to make the transition and spend some time "deschooling" our son. Basically that means to allow a transition time between PS and homeschooling. Allow your child to take a breather and unwind from everything that occured in PS. we spent about 2 months deschooling - where we just woke up in the morning and I would let my son plan out what he wanted to explore...we spent many days just hiking in the woods, driving to places to ask if we could have an inpromtu field trip of their facility, just goofing off at points and unwinding/destressing.

We were also told to not jump into stressing about the ins and outs of homeschooling...don't go crazy and purchase all the curriculum right away...take your time and watch/observe your child to see how he learns best- see what they are really interested in and plan your first few activities/lessons around those topics. After a period of time, you will see what method of homeschooling will work best for your child...unschooling, traditional, a mix....

Just use it as a time to reconnect with your child and help them gain back their love of learning and self-confidence

Here are some sites that explain the process of deschooling

http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

http://www.homeschoolingonashoestring.com/deschooling.html

http://www.homeschooloasis.com/art_deschooling_tips.htm

We pulled DS8 (then 6yo) out of 1st grade for homeschooling. He'd had K and 2 years of preschool, so he was used to going off to school. But he was miserable in public school 1st grade with a teacher who didn't get giftedness--there were several gifted kids in her class, and all were suddenly having behavior problems for the first time in their lives--and who took away recesses like mad. She had also started trying to buy good behavior with sugary treats and plastic junk. Ugh. DS was bored, sad, and angry. He was not himself. There was no doubt in our mind that something had to be done. Still, it was scary! We had never thought we would homeschool.

The transition was easy-peasy for him. Really, just an immediate improvement. On Day #1 of homeschooling, he was back to his happy, fun, pleasant self. He was so happy not to be in that classroom anymore and to get to learn something for school that he had no real problems adjusting.

I had to take a little time to figure out what level of work he required, and I was VERY clear with him that we had to work as a team because I was new to homeschooling, too, so I needed his help. This worked like a charm. I also like that it makes him largely responsible for his own learning. If he's bored with what we're doing, it isn't my job to fix it; it's his! The good thing about the method we're using (eclectic) is that he CAN do something about it. He's not trapped in a set curriculum that I hand down to him. I love that freedom.

I'm sort of rambling now, but I guess my point is that if your child is on board and you work together to plan lessons, you'll do fine.

Especially with a GT kid, the work itself will be a lot easier than you think it will be. Learning will be easier than you can believe. Expect him to fly through material! Buy less than you think you need because some things that seem perfect won't be. Be ready to adapt. You WILL make mistakes--we all do!--but that can be a good lesson in perfectionism for your son if you handle it well.

The big thing I didn't expect was how hard it was on me not to have time to myself. Granted, I'm an introvert, but I'd STRONGLY recommend that you make sure you get time alone. Get a sitter or arrange classes that let you be by yourself. Finding social outings for him was easy for us (find a good local homeschooling group if you can!). But every time he was social, I had to be, too, and it made me cranky and unhappy to spend that much time with people. It took me a while to find solutions because I wasn't self-aware enough to know that this would overtax me. Things are fine now, but I recommend that you know well your own needs and be sure you meet them. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, or you'll be no good to anyone else!

One last thought: knowing what is the minimum level of progress you're willing to accept is a good plan. My attitude is that I want him operating at least at grade level in everything. Since he's ahead in everything, this is an easy benchmark to hit. But it takes the pressure off. We don't have to push to get way ahead in anything. We are able to follow his interests. It's very relaxed. I think with a smart kid and lots of freedom, it can be hard to know if you're doing enough. My goals are for him not to fall behind in anything ever, to love learning, and to progress. That works for us, and I think it sets him up well for the future.

Most of the time, I'm racing to keep up with him as he dashes off ahead learning way more than I thought he was ready to learn!

If you have more specific questions, just ask.

P.S. The one rough patch we had was at the beginning of this year when I gave him too-easy work in an effort to be sure we had gaps filled in. He was difficult, rebllious, and angry--all the things he had been when he was bored in 1st grade. Duh! I raised the challenge level and things got better immediately. I'm embarrassed about how long it took me to figure out what was wrong though. I think (I hope!) I have now learned my lesson and won't underchallenge him again. Maybe you can learn from my mistake!

Thank you everyone. I have a list of these pages earmarked because I have to come back and read them again and again. At first it was because I was learning, then it was because I had to reassure myself that I wasn't making this up and now it's just the reassurance that I'm not alone and there is a TON of great information out here. Yippeee!!

I brought my son home after 2nd grade. Our 1st year HSing was his 3rd grade year. This is our 2nd year, he's now a 4th grader. We had significant issues to overcome. We're still dealing with some of them. He developed significant perfectionism issues surrounding math and it continues to be a thorn in my side. All you can do is to keep working on the issues. I can tell you, as hard as it has been, it's so much better than when he was in school. And yes, there are many days I'm chasing the nearest school bus to throw him on (last year, not so much this year). I would say ask DS about a few topics he wants to learn about. Then get some DVDs, some books, find museum exhibits etc ... he'll need some time to deschool. It will also be difficult to think of home as a learning environment. Expect some bumps. And no decision is final. It's hard for me to imagine NOT homeschooling now. Especially with my 1st grader home. He has jumped grade levels in a matter of months and is simply thriving. It's wonderful to see.

if you have any questions, just ask away.

dazey

In the last 6 months, he's had significant changes in personality, anxiety and depression. He use to be soooooo easy and really wanted to do well. Psychologist was really hopeful that if we deschool him and start curriculum slowly he can work his way out of it. Although he said 'frequently, they have to tantrum their way out of it'. Good times! I have to say though, the more I read about homeschooling, the more I'm really excited for him. I think I better learn to meditate, LOL!

I agree w/ the psych...sometimes they just have to tantrum their way out of it. I took my son to the psych after seeing symptoms of depression. There is a math problem called a multi-vide that he needs to do in his math program. Well he's done 9 of them so far. About the 7th one, he got it wrong. The problem involves multiplying by 2,then 3, then 4 on up to 9, then dividing by 2, then 3, then 4 and you should end w/ what you started with. Well, ever since he got ONE wrong, it's been like pulling teeth. I told him the best attitude to have when something is hard is that he should be asking me to give him an extra one...not refusing to do this one. It's hard b/c he has to think about the math facts and he abhores memorizing math facts. And b/c school was focused on SPEED of math facts and did speed tests in school and everyone knew what everyone else got, he got in his head that he isn't good at math. He's always been very intuitive about math. I've been unsuccessful in turning him around. I only hope that once we're done w/ arithmetic, he'll see that his conceptual strengths will serve him well in algebra and he'll begin to see himself as good at math again.

DS had to do math facts as well. Out of the thousands of problems, he's missed 3-4, but he won't increase his speed. No way, he might not get them all right and he's seems to be just fine with that. Unfortunately, it's kind of pervasive into other activities as well. I have some ideas on things I want to try. I noticed he's enjoyed skiing this winter. It's part day lesson and then relaxed off to explore with dad for the afternoon. I'm thinking if I can mix the 'this is hard' part with the 'isn't this cool' math, he'll build up tolerance and a safe feeling about learning. We'll see....Thanks for the boost-

I'll second the "deschooling" suggestion. Conventional wisdom is a month for every year in public school, though I didn't find that was strictly necessary. Two or three months of "education lite" worked for us: nature programs, lots of field trips, and lots of time just chilling out and talking.

Our big hurdle was reading. The school had killed any desire to read by making all sorts of rules and regulations and assignments to surround it. My response was to go to the library regularly, and let them choose the books. They got to stay up an extra half hour to an hour at night as long as they were in bed, reading. And we kept a list of what books they'd read, with a one sentence description and a 1-5 star rating, for their portfolios.
A couple of months in we started more in-depth literature analysis, but the time off just to read for pleasure was invaluable.