Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments my son is being evaluated for special ed...

You're right, it sucks. I had some thoughts while reading your post. The first is that the school may feel as if there is some policy requirement that an anxiety disorder has to be called ED in order for him to qualify for services. Maybe somebody told them that and they don't know enough to know that that's not accurate. But, I think you did the right thing in refusing to label him ED and in insisting that anything they "diagnose" him with is accurate. Also, I wonder if the difference in how your son is perceived by his teachers is purely a result of him having been at different schools over the years. Perhaps, and I don't know the specifics of your schools, the student populations at the schools are very different and at, say, the Montessori school, they are much less likely to see a wide range of behaviors and so your DS sticks out more. I know that with one of my DSs, the teacher each year had a huge impact on how my DS was described. One year a teacher actually told me he wasn't good at anything, while the next year the teacher told me he was one of the top students in the class.

I think trying to find a non-school psych to go to would be a very good idea.

I forget if you said this earlier, but what was the reason you decided to stop homeschooling after having tried it? Is hsing an option again?

OMG my heart goes out to you. Def. see a psychologist who works with gifted kids. I found a great one on the www.sendgifted.org Your son seems like a typical gifted child. If I left my DS7 in public school who knows what they would have labeled him.

My DS7 would not buy a bottle of water today for fear he would be ID'd . The sign did not specify they would ID for alchoholic beverages just said if you are under 30 they will ID.

One therapist could call him crazy another could call him clever to read the sign.

I will say the diagnosis helps at times when you're advocating. I just went through this. My child was having more behavior problems as the year progressed, but a lot better than last year. I was hearing a lot of words like "defiant" coming from the school.

When I went to the IEP meeting, the first thing I said to everyone (including my child's teacher) was "Is my child defiant, or is this a symptom of his syndrome?" At first there was some defensiveness, but eventually we started talking about triggers and how to correct him and how to handle the anxiety that any of these programs tends to trigger in him.

I guess my point is that how people frame the behaviors in their minds helps them deal with them differently. If the behavior seems defiant, and the teacher has not other context to put it in, the teacher will take the behavior personally and be defensive and upset about it. If the behavior is framed as a symptom of the disorder, the teacher can pull back and see that it is not about them. I admit that some teachers still can't pull back, but then you have the law on your side.

If you have the resources and/or insur. Consider having your child evaluated by a child psychologist or developmental pediatrician. You can find either by contacting a medical school or medical center in your area.

Hi Artana,
Does having an IEP mean special ed?
My son def has anxiety issues.
So that classifies as a disorder even with a high IQ?
I am in NYC so maybe each state is diff.

An IEP means, in almost every state that the child meets the standards for Special Ed.

Here, I found this for you, from NY:

http://www.vesid.nysed.gov/specialed/publications/policy/parentguide.htm

It's extremely important that you become aware of where your rights lie. For instance, in PA, I can disagree with the IEP, call IEP meetings if I feel that something has changed or is going wrong, and even push it to court if the IEP is not being followed. Granted, it's always better to work closely with the school, but this document gives your child rights that they are not allowed to ignore. Many states do not have gifted education moneys or rights, but IEPs are based on the Federal requirements for persons with disabilities and so are there for you anywhere you go. In PA, if a child has IEP and GIEP, the Gifted stuff needs to be wrapped in the IEP needs, as is the case, I think, in NY. These are the twice-exceptional children that you read about a lot. We have a board here for parents with children like that and there is a lot of help that you can get asking questions there.

I was really scared when my kids got diagnosed. Now, I see the leverage it gives me in making sure their needs are net. For instance, what you said about anxiety...every behavior plan with my AS son has to be vetted for anxiety-inducing components and they are watched very carefully, because the school is now aware that anxiety changes his behavior for the negative.

Wow Artana that is very interesting. I have heard of twice expceptional but didn't think it applied to anxiety issues.
So does your child get advanced work as well then??

What about later on applying to schools wouldn't this be a negative?

I am by no means an expert, but this is what I did with my child. I told them straight-out that all the behavior issues and anxiety issues would get worse if he was bored all day. Luckily, he has a GIEP too. A lot of programs try to make behavior a requirement for Gifted. I argued that they had to meet his academic needs so we could get a true baseline for his behavior, and in the meanwhile, I would support them trying behavior plans that sounded reasonable.

Two, some of these diagnosis are fairly common in brighter students so aren't considered negative. If your child has anxiety issues, but every year there were less problems and both the school and you has that documented, then that sets a good strong pattern. The goal with my son is to have him get some accomodations, but not need as much by the time he gets to High School. The pattern of increased independent regulation of his behavior along with a good mind, decent grades, and some extra-curriculars should not be viewed negatively by a college and can be spun as a case of overcoming adversity and personal difficulties to become a success story.