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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 155
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 155 |
I want to interject something into this thread. Think about the adults you know, perhaps especially hg/pg males, and think about their "position" on the autistic spectrum. I don't know about many of you but there are a significant number of extremely successful people that I know who would have been labeled as children but are perfectly smart but odd adults. The fear issue around some of this childhood labeling is destructive. (from earlier in this thread) ____________________________________________________________________________________ Not sure how to quote properly! Have just read a Vanity Fair portrait of an obviously brilliant aspie type. All grown up and functioning remarkably well. See what you think. http://www.vanityfair.com/business/features/2010/04/wall-street-excerpt-201004
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42 |
I want to interject something into this thread. Think about the adults you know, perhaps especially hg/pg males, and think about their "position" on the autistic spectrum. I don't know about many of you but there is a significant number of extremely successful people that I know who would be labeled as children but are perfectly smart but odd adults. The fear issue around some of this childhood labeling is destructive. My concern with over-diagnosis and mis-diagnosis is that an diagnosis is a subjective thing based on someone's opinion. The Asperger diagnosis can actually fit a lot of quirky, gifted kids IMHO. I honestly think that myself and my dh may have been labelled as AS, but were not since we grew up in the 1960's. I am not sure how that would have colored or changed our lives since we both have/had successful careers. I also wonder would Einstein or Bill Gates have been successful if they had been labelled in childhood. OTOH, I believe that diagnosis can be a good thing since it allows for treatment. I worry that autism is increasing possibly due to some environmental or genetic causes. In the 60's, you did not hear of this or see this as you do nowadays  I just do not want to see a diagnosis or medication made in haste for children IMHO especially when behavioral modifications could be done. My ds is a quirky, gifted child who educators have expressed concern about. We did have him evaluated privately and by the school. He does not fit all of the criteria for AS and the doctor really did not have any recommendations besides considering a social skills group. We chose to not get the diagnosis of AS. We figure if he needs it, then we can get it. My ds participates in boy scouts, soccer, homeschool co-op, etc. He is a lovely, friendly boy. We did pull him out of school to do public cyber charter school at home which allows him to advance at his own pace  We tried both a public and a montessori school and frankly, I think they were itching to put a label on him which my dh and I disagreed with since the doctor felt that even if he does have AS that it is "very mild." yeah, If my DS as AS it is very mild, too. To the point where one minute I think yes, the next, no... Tomorrow is the big meeting with the school psych, special ed teacher, and teachers... And my husband can't make it due to work, so I am so nervous. UGH! But at least we'll know... and know whether we need to go with the whole neuropsych eval. or not. My son has been doing very well in school lately, though, both socially and academically... so at least we aren't in crisis mode!
There's a star man waiting in the sky he'd like to come meet us but he's sure he'll blow our minds
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 186
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Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 186 |
I want to interject something into this thread. Think about the adults you know, perhaps especially hg/pg males, and think about their "position" on the autistic spectrum. I don't know about many of you but there is a significant number of extremely successful people that I know who would be labeled as children but are perfectly smart but odd adults. The fear issue around some of this childhood labeling is destructive. My concern with over-diagnosis and mis-diagnosis is that an diagnosis is a subjective thing based on someone's opinion. The Asperger diagnosis can actually fit a lot of quirky, gifted kids IMHO. I honestly think that myself and my dh may have been labelled as AS, but were not since we grew up in the 1960's. I am not sure how that would have colored or changed our lives since we both have/had successful careers. I also wonder would Einstein or Bill Gates have been successful if they had been labelled in childhood. OTOH, I believe that diagnosis can be a good thing since it allows for treatment. I worry that autism is increasing possibly due to some environmental or genetic causes. In the 60's, you did not hear of this or see this as you do nowadays I just do not want to see a diagnosis or medication made in haste for children IMHO especially when behavioral modifications could be done. My ds is a quirky, gifted child who educators have expressed concern about. We did have him evaluated privately and by the school. He does not fit all of the criteria for AS and the doctor really did not have any recommendations besides considering a social skills group. We chose to not get the diagnosis of AS. We figure if he needs it, then we can get it. My ds participates in boy scouts, soccer, homeschool co-op, etc. He is a lovely, friendly boy. We did pull him out of school to do public cyber charter school at home which allows him to advance at his own pace We tried both a public and a montessori school and frankly, I think they were itching to put a label on him which my dh and I disagreed with since the doctor felt that even if he does have AS that it is "very mild." yeah, If my DS as AS it is very mild, too. To the point where one minute I think yes, the next, no... Tomorrow is the big meeting with the school psych, special ed teacher, and teachers... And my husband can't make it due to work, so I am so nervous. UGH! But at least we'll know... and know whether we need to go with the whole neuropsych eval. or not. My son has been doing very well in school lately, though, both socially and academically... so at least we aren't in crisis mode! I hope your meeting went well! We have our meeting tomorrow so I'm anxiously awaiting that. The psych at the school has already informed me that he probably won't qualify for services unless he ends up qualifying as 'autistic like'. He seems a lot like your DS - some days we think he might have AS, other days we don't. He has some characteristics but not all and is definitely his own personality - everybody loves him but he just doesn't do that well socially. I think either way we'll be taking the school's report to our ped so we can get a referral for pt/ot (which the school thinks he could really use which is why they want to qualify him for services) and maybe a neuropsych for a full eval. We'll see... Anyways I hope you got great news at your meeting!
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42 |
I want to interject something into this thread. Think about the adults you know, perhaps especially hg/pg males, and think about their "position" on the autistic spectrum. I don't know about many of you but there is a significant number of extremely successful people that I know who would be labeled as children but are perfectly smart but odd adults. The fear issue around some of this childhood labeling is destructive. My concern with over-diagnosis and mis-diagnosis is that an diagnosis is a subjective thing based on someone's opinion. The Asperger diagnosis can actually fit a lot of quirky, gifted kids IMHO. I honestly think that myself and my dh may have been labelled as AS, but were not since we grew up in the 1960's. I am not sure how that would have colored or changed our lives since we both have/had successful careers. I also wonder would Einstein or Bill Gates have been successful if they had been labelled in childhood. OTOH, I believe that diagnosis can be a good thing since it allows for treatment. I worry that autism is increasing possibly due to some environmental or genetic causes. In the 60's, you did not hear of this or see this as you do nowadays I just do not want to see a diagnosis or medication made in haste for children IMHO especially when behavioral modifications could be done. My ds is a quirky, gifted child who educators have expressed concern about. We did have him evaluated privately and by the school. He does not fit all of the criteria for AS and the doctor really did not have any recommendations besides considering a social skills group. We chose to not get the diagnosis of AS. We figure if he needs it, then we can get it. My ds participates in boy scouts, soccer, homeschool co-op, etc. He is a lovely, friendly boy. We did pull him out of school to do public cyber charter school at home which allows him to advance at his own pace We tried both a public and a montessori school and frankly, I think they were itching to put a label on him which my dh and I disagreed with since the doctor felt that even if he does have AS that it is "very mild." yeah, If my DS as AS it is very mild, too. To the point where one minute I think yes, the next, no... Tomorrow is the big meeting with the school psych, special ed teacher, and teachers... And my husband can't make it due to work, so I am so nervous. UGH! But at least we'll know... and know whether we need to go with the whole neuropsych eval. or not. My son has been doing very well in school lately, though, both socially and academically... so at least we aren't in crisis mode! I hope your meeting went well! We have our meeting tomorrow so I'm anxiously awaiting that. The psych at the school has already informed me that he probably won't qualify for services unless he ends up qualifying as 'autistic like'. He seems a lot like your DS - some days we think he might have AS, other days we don't. He has some characteristics but not all and is definitely his own personality - everybody loves him but he just doesn't do that well socially. I think either way we'll be taking the school's report to our ped so we can get a referral for pt/ot (which the school thinks he could really use which is why they want to qualify him for services) and maybe a neuropsych for a full eval. We'll see... Anyways I hope you got great news at your meeting! Courtney, I hope your meeting went well! The special ed teacher at school called this morning to push the meeting to next week... I was so bummed. I just want to get it over with, yk? And now another week of waiting.... Fun times!
There's a star man waiting in the sky he'd like to come meet us but he's sure he'll blow our minds
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 155
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 155 |
Time for the tried and true wine and waiting game.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42 |
I couldn't wait anymore.
It is funny, but the longer I waited, I begin to think that maybe my son does have very mild ASD, like Asperger's. The thing that always ruled that out was that he has excellent fine motor skills, and is pretty coordinated.
Add to this, my brother, 2 years my senior, thinks that he has undiagnosed AS.
So I just couldn't wait another week!
I called the school psych today, and was actually surprised that she does not suspect AS at all. She said that this didn't even come up on her radar when she talked to him.
Now of course this is a school psych and not a full on evaluation, but I was so relieved. She said that she thinks that some of his behavior problems and social problems stem from him being "really, really bright."
So here I was, thinking that all the problems stemmed from giftedness, and then I thought that maybe that was just wishful thinking, and I was blinded by my love/pride in my son. So I was open to the idea of AS... and then nope...
She agreed me the report before the meeting, even though it might not all make sense.
I felt really good about the interaction, and was pleased that she just said that she was "one member of this team, where we will come together and try to figure out a plan to best help" my son.
Sometimes it does turn out alright! Hopefully the meeting goes well, but at least I don't have to worry... as much.
There's a star man waiting in the sky he'd like to come meet us but he's sure he'll blow our minds
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 186
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Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 186 |
Glad things seem alright!
We also don't seem to be AS though he does have a decent amount of characteristics. But she said that a lot of that may actually come from being gifted and underchallenged. (Not that they're really doing anything about that....)
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 25
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 25 |
As the mother of a 14 yr old who is underachieving due to boredom and some mislabeling (lazy...sheesh) I am so happy to hear that they are not pigeonholing you into some crap diagnosis! Congrats, it sounds like you have a good woman on your side.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42 |
As the mother of a 14 yr old who is underachieving due to boredom and some mislabeling (lazy...sheesh) I am so happy to hear that they are not pigeonholing you into some crap diagnosis! Congrats, it sounds like you have a good woman on your side. Dace, you are right! I guess I have been habituated to disappointment and to always think worst case scenario. But I am really pleased. She even offered to send me the report and offered to take anything out of there if I disagreed, or it made me uncomfortable. For the first time in weeks I've felt at ease and really happy, and not worrying about this horrible looming thing! Thank you, everyone! I'll post about the big meeting, but I think it is going to be productive and not some awful experience.
There's a star man waiting in the sky he'd like to come meet us but he's sure he'll blow our minds
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 42 |
Well, we had the meeting. And it sucked. It took me a week to process everything, and now I really need to share this with a sympathetic bunch. We had the meeting, the psych reviews the tests--IQ and Woodcock Johnson blah blah blah gifted blah blah. Then we review some of the behaviors. Extreme emotional reaction. Extreme anger. Poor impulse control. Refusal to work. Difficulty with peers. And then she pulls out the "emotional disturbance" form. She starts talking about this and that... that this will allow my son to meet with a school psych once a week (!) and I just say, "I am not signing that. There is no way I am going to label my 8 year-old son as emotionally disturbed" I was so disappointed. Yes, my son has some obstacles. He has a lot to learn. But isn't that why he is in school? So she goes through the checklist on the form and I just say I'm check disagree. I don't care what you think, but this is not going to help my already anxious, overly self-conscious son. I ask if he can get services (which are ? I just want him to have some breathing room, and yes help with Anxiety. I'm still conflicted about this.) through OHI for his anxiety. (OMG, thank you for pointing this out to me! I wouldn't have known to ask for this without your help!!!) She says, no-anxiety would be the ED label. I leave feeling really sad. And scared for my kid. How will he be able to be the brilliant, funny, sweet kid I know him to be with all of this facing him? ****** The psych calls me the next day. She is confused because she has never had a child who needed services, but the services were refused. I tell her I'm not opposed to my child getting services, I am opposed to him being labeled "emotionally disturbed." She did check and said he could get services under OHI for anxiety, but will need a diagnosis. Fine! I'll do that. She calls back 30 minutes later with "oh your doctor wrote on his health form "Generalized anxiety disorder" So she doesn't read the note from the doctor until AFTER ALL OF THIS?  So I went in today and signed the stuff agreeing to OHI for anxiety. We'll still have the meeting for IEP. I've calmed down and was glad the psych check this for us, and it seems like it might work. But I am still conflicted. Part of me is like, " yes, gifted education IS special education" and the other part of me is like "Why is my son, who last year was awkward in social situations, and the class clown, and underachieving, suddenly an ED case in this school?" Is it the freedom--and so there is more wackiness? Is it that he now is responsible for the work he chooses to do and coupled with his anxiety is working through some heavy perfectionism and slackerness? I need to find a psych to go to out of school, too. Someone who gets gifted kids. Thank you for reading this.
There's a star man waiting in the sky he'd like to come meet us but he's sure he'll blow our minds
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