Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments my son is being evaluated for special ed...

Lori,
Hugs to you!
I'm sorry for all of the difficulties in your life. I hope you have a faith life that guides you and instructs you and comforts you.
I had scoliosis too! I'm trying to remember if my mom had to tighten it for me. I know I could get out of it on my own (I had nervous stomach for a while and had to get out of it quickly so I wouldn't aspirate since it was an up-to-the-neck Milwaukee brace.) The good news is, I'm 45 now, no back problems through 3 pregnancies, no back pain or problems. It's definitely worth fixing!!
Feel free to contact me individually.

I have the reputation of being cold, stone sober at work when things go bad. If only people knew. One of our executives is amazing, and most would think the stress never gets to him, but it does. He has told me. DW leads a BU of a publicly traded firm and just gets hammered at work - it gets to her, too. It gets to everyone. I work out 4-6 times a week. DW plays tennis. Anything to get your mind off work or worry is one way to deal with it. Another way to deal with it is to face the issues - sometimes DW wakes up worrying and then just gets up and goes in to work - at 2 AM!

I definitely have OE and know I am on the Autism spectrum somewhere. I also know that I have compensated in many ways. I've read a lot of books on emotions and social interaction trying to understand others because I was blind to much this growing up. Something just filters it out and still does. it is not that I don't care - I just cannot sense it. it is like not having heat receptors in your fingertips - you get burned!

Many, many high performing adults have self-treated themselves in some way. For kids who are "labelled" - they get the treatment NOW rather than having to wait half their lives to get it done. It is like braces for the soul!!! Its gotta happen sooner or later so get it over with!

Here is my take. This filter makes me good at high pressure situations because I do not pick up others' fear. I can then focus on the issue and get others to focus as well. In addition, my OE on some things, and my auto-compensation means that I can control myself better than NDs because I have faced panic most every day growing up. I can automatically operate while scared to death.

Another point to make is that because I lived with fear a lot, I can empathize with others who are in fear, now that I know what it looks like in ND people, and due to how I felt I was left out growing up, I am sensitive to others being left out, too.

Temple Grandin makes this point. And it is High Irony that an Aspie is telling the world to accept all kinds of minds - to be tolerant and empathetic.

http://www.ted.com/talks/temple_grandin_the_world_needs_all_kinds_of_minds.html

Be careful b/c the folder does follow the child even if it is considered inactive and the new teachers have access to it. There are as many preconceptions about ed as gifted.. Some educators get an image of ed and thats it. They can't be served in the regular room but need services to deal w/ behavor. Don't give child chance so to speak or jump on the first misbehvor as excuse.. This comes from someone on the inside.

This post was a response to Starman's question several entries ago. Seems like we were all fascinated by this thread and many were submitting responses at the same time.

I tend to think both are destructive. Our notion of "normal" has become so narrow that we, as a society, have an increasingly low tolerance for variety among personalities.

Though Asperger's was never suggested for DS, I know several friends who have accepted this label for their DC. And I, though my opinion is only that, have always thought those children shouldn't be labeled as such. It seems to me that every 5 year old who is intellectually a 10 year old and shows a doctor he/she can't socialize with another 5 year old b/c he/she would rather discuss algebra is labeled as Asperger's these days. And that is so wrong, imo.

that is awesome! Sounds like a great guy.

I agree with this, but really, after talking with his teacher more about his behavior, he is really acting differently and in a disruptive manner at school. The thing is, he is a totally different kid at school then at home. I think he just gets really excited (overexcited?) but the kids... although we have 4 kids at home so he is *always* around kids...

I have also talked with his teacher who is committed to making his experience at the school a success, which is very reassuring.

Thank you everyone for all the replies and shared experiences. It is really super helpful to know what other people have felt and done in this circumstance.

Overall, I think it will be a positive experience for my son, and we picked up a copy of misdiagnosis so hopefully that will gives us some responses to reads that don't seem right to us.

I don't agree with accepting a misdiagnosis. My son already feels different, I don't want to be dishonest and let him think he has something he doesn't, you know?

I much more comfortable with being on the same page as his teachers and stuff, too.

I'll be sure to let y'all know what happens.

Glad to hear the teacher sounds open minded about finding out what is really up with your ds. Best of luck to you, please do let us know what progress you and he make!
I agree it's very reassuring to realize there are plenty of kids who go through this sort of thing...you would think it would be seen as more 'normal'.

My concern with over-diagnosis and mis-diagnosis is that an diagnosis is a subjective thing based on someone's opinion. The Asperger diagnosis can actually fit a lot of quirky, gifted kids IMHO. I honestly think that myself and my dh may have been labelled as AS, but were not since we grew up in the 1960's. I am not sure how that would have colored or changed our lives since we both have/had successful careers. I also wonder would Einstein or Bill Gates have been successful if they had been labelled in childhood.


OTOH, I believe that diagnosis can be a good thing since it allows for treatment. I worry that autism is increasing possibly due to some environmental or genetic causes. In the 60's, you did not hear of this or see this as you do nowadays
I just do not want to see a diagnosis or medication made in haste for children IMHO especially when behavioral modifications could be done.


My ds is a quirky, gifted child who educators have expressed concern about. We did have him evaluated privately and by the school. He does not fit all of the criteria for AS and the doctor really did not have any recommendations besides considering a social skills group. We chose to not get the diagnosis of AS. We figure if he needs it, then we can get it. My ds participates in boy scouts, soccer, homeschool co-op, etc. He is a lovely, friendly boy. We did pull him out of school to do public cyber charter school at home which allows him to advance at his own pace We tried both a public and a montessori school and frankly, I think they were itching to put a label on him which my dh and I disagreed with since the doctor felt that even if he does have AS that it is "very mild."