Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments my son is being evaluated for special ed...

and I have a sinking feeling about it.

Here is some background:

My son is very bright, assessed for gifted and talented at his previous school, but has yet to have a formal IQ test. Based on my read of him (and yes I know I am biased being his mama, but a lot of his giftedness to me is exhibited by the not so positive aspects of being gifted) he is highly gifted.

He has extreme over overexcitabilities, is emotionally sensitive, and has difficulties relating to same age peers.

He has been in a different school every year since Kindergarten-- Kindergarten went alright, but first grade was so bad we pulled him midyear and homeschooled. After moving to a new city, we decided to go for the local, well-rated public school. He had a pretty good year, but towards the end of the year, he was increasingly acting out and developing his role as the 'class clown.' He was clearly underachieving. He wrestles with perfectionism, and will tear up work and simply not try if he can't do it perfectly.

So this year we tried a new Montessori charter school. He is in a mixed aged 1-3 class (he is a 3rd grader).

He has always said that he loves the school, and talks about being happy there (or what he says makes me think he is happy there). But at the same time, his behavior has alarmed the teachers so much that he is being evaluated by the school psychologist.

I think that this is good--they will do a full IQ assessment (his qualification as gifted from his previous school was based on a group administered achievement test), and an emotional evaluation.

But I am also terrified of a misdiagnosis. I mean, he is a different sort of kid, and I have always wondered if he has Asperger's--but then he is *highly* coordinated, learning to ride a bike at a young age, and has no problem interacting/conversing with adults, and brings us pictures he has drawn, etc.

Perhaps he has something else--SPD, etc. But its hard to say. He is sensitive, and has *a lot* of anxiety (which should be treated-- and hopefully he will be treated for his anxiety through all of this).

And please don't get me wrong, if he really is something, I'm not in denial about it, you know? I want to help my child.

I am trying to get a hold of misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses of gifted children... I may just have to scrape together the money and buy it.

But I'm just nervous about it all. He could use help, he so desperately wants to be friends with other kids, but doesn't exactly know how.

Anyone BTDT?? Thanks!

Hi Starman. It looks like the Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis book is available on Google Book. They don't have the entire book online, but the first 150 pages are available for reading - might be good to check it out until you get a chance to buy the book. When my DS 6 was tested last year the psych recommended the book for my super active son as he believed that there was the potential that a school/teacher might misdiagnose at some point. My son tested at HG/PG, but is not reading or doing math at advanced levels, he is simply only interested in what interests him at this point. DS is also the class clown and does his best to get a laugh whenever he can, even at his own expense. He has struggled socially; we're hoping this will improve as he matures. He knows how to play with kids, he just never seems to click with anyone. I was concerned about ADHD, but after two hours with DS, the psych was adamant that he definitely did not have a LD. It certainly put our minds at ease. I think the key to an evaluation is having someone who is familiar with gifted kids, and their characteristics (and quirks). The evaluation may be a good thing - I would just want to make sure that the person conducting the evaluation has experience with gifted kids.

I think you should ask the school to do not just a psych eval but a neuropsych eval if you think he could be on the spectrum. Also, if there's any way you can afford an outside eval, I would do that.

In additon, you do not have to allow them to lable him anything you don't like. You have to sign off on whatever they come up with, so if you don't like it, don't sign it. I'd try to stay away from an ED (emotionally disturbed) label. Anxiety, depression, and ADHD would all get an OHI (other health impairment) label. You can negotiate at the meeting.

If he has an IEP, you can have social goals added.

Go to wrightslaw.com and read up on the process. There are a lot of resources there.

My ds is also being evaluated for special ed. He has dysgraphia and ADHD.

Insurance may pay for the Evals. Something to consider.

This is not my area of expertise but here are my thoughts.

Sometimes gifted kids act AHDA when nothing is wrong with them because they are underchallenged at school and stressed about it. That was my son's situation in 2nd Grade.

I have heard that it is best to have someone with gifted experience do these evaluations. Although, in our experience everything seemed to work out find with our school Psycologist not gifted experienced. The school payed for all of this so that helped too. If you or your insurance pays I would look for gifted experience.

Best of luck to you and DC.

I too am going through all of this with my 3rd grader. don't let them label him ED. It is a stigma that will affect his future perseption by teachers. Get the book you mentioned some how or way. I also contacted Dr. Amend who is based in Lexington, Ky. He is on the web as well. We made phone contact which is great. I am also using the behavor clinic through my local children's hospital. This is how we came up with the tourettes.

The counselor described my little guy as made up of many different flavors. He really isn't one set thing but little bits of all the initials that are thrown at kids.

It is a lot of work and you will cry but you are your childs advocate.
My Meeting is next week also so we will see how it goes.

Thank you for all of your replies!

First of all, I feel kind of railroaded by the teacher during the meeting... I mean, I knew of some of the things going on, but it was worse when he first began at the school, but that was months ago, and his behavior is very different now. But certain things that they described at this meeting, things that happened that demonstrate his "aggression"-- well this was the first time I had heard of these things happening!!!

They kept saying he has high aggression. Now, if you've spent time with my kid you would know he can be bossy, and a bit pushy with other kids. He doesn't really know how to relate to other kids. He might say, "LEAVE ME ALONE." But he isn't "aggressive" as in hitting other children for no reason. If he is pushed, he'll push back. But he is *tiny* compared to other kids his age, so it isn't like he is physically intimidating other children, you know??

Also, other kids will tease him and teachers don't always pick up on it. He will respond with full force, because he doesn't like to be teased. So the teacher's don't see the initial teasing, but will see his response (because you can't avoid it).

So that was hard to hear all this stuff, and I just wondered why they hadn't mentioned this before???

So there was that shock... and then I just feel like things that happened when he was first at the school--months ago, are now being held up as his "normal" behavior.

I will get Misdiagnosis. Is it weird to bring the book to the meeting with the psych?? I just feel like all of this is based on this persons limited interaction with my child. And he has been in so many schools and never thought of as having problems--sure he was quirky, and anxious.

We have sought help for his Anxiety-- but our insurance is horrible and we weren't really comfortable with going the route that the insurance covered. We might just have to pay for it out of pocket.

I will ask for a full neuropsych. evaluation if they assert he is on the spectrum. I know many kids all over the spectrum, and just don't see my son being there--of course if he were I'd have no problem with it and embrace it. I know that labels (like the gifted label :lol ) can be helpful.

The ED label freaks me out! And that just isn't my kid at all.

Although, again we would love to have some help with the anxiety and the socialization.

I don't know about the psych. but I do know that the special ed teacher at our school also works at the gifted magnet here (which is for gifted kids, not high achieving kids). Because of this, I was initially comfortable with the evaluation, and thought it would be helpful. But now I just feel like crying!

You are right Vicam--about the crying. Also, Vicam, as a side note, have you seen the movie �Phoebe In Wonderland," about a child with tourettes. It is really a lovely movie--it might be too intense for your son at this point.

its like just when I think we are good, it all hits the fan. But maybe I'm just worried, and it will all work out.

Thank you! It is so good to know that this happens to other families, as crappy as that sounds. But I feel so alone as a parent of a child like this... the gifted kids we know are typically high achievers.

Oddly, getting an ED label for our son bought him some time for his social emotional growth to catch up to his age mates. The ED label was put on the beginning of third grade and is being removed now (mid 5th grade.) The first year it was a blessing, when he felt unable to hold it together in the classroom for whatever reason, he could leave and go to theemotional support room, unwind, relax then go back to class. With the students leaving here and there for all sorts of things, band lessons, gifted pull out, reading help etc.., it was never a big deal.

He still tends toward the class clown, but has matured a bit and is able to keep contol in the classroom better. Since the lable is removed prior to leaving elementary school, nothing in his records will impact him later in his schooling or life choices.

elh0706, that is good to know that it can be removed from the file. But how do you know it is completely removed?? Can you review it before he leaves school?

I have a class clown, too. I think he just feels so self-conscious and feels different. It will be interesting to see how he is nect year, in a class of 4-6th grade children, instead of now being 1-3 (and being the oldest).

And do you agree with the psych description? Or did you just accept it because it bought your son some space/ breathing room? what kind of additional services did it allow your son to access?

Thank you for your help!

Starman, let your child be evaluated but don't let the school railroad you. If your child does need the support services allow him to get what he needs. The ed label is so tricky, because when a child needs the services they REALLY need them, but it may also be a way for an out of the box child to be unnecessarily branded. Read all the idea rights carefully -- if your state has gifted IEP's and there really is something there it could be the secondary exceptionality. There are three year re-valuations as well.