Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Elementary School Sacrifices your family has made...special schools?

Interesting thread. We went back and forth on schooling before DS5 started school this year. Everyone had told us that public school would never work for him since he is a PG kid (and add to that an extroverted PG kid who acts out when he is not challenged). So...we didn't want him to get a label in Public school and weren't sure if they could meet his needs etc. Financially we didn't feel that private was an option, and even if it were we felt that they still wouldn't be able to accomodate him as our state doesn't have gifted mandates or anything. Sooo...we decided to enroll him in public school with much trepidation. The school allowed him to skip K and start first (actually they recommended it). They are differentiating for him for most everything and it is going pretty well and he enjoys school. We decided to put some extra money into things to have at home that are more enriching and also extracurricular activities. We would have had no money for things like that if he was in a private school. We go to museums often, he will be starting piano lessons soon as he really enjoys the piano, Tee ball, and does some other academic based activities and classes when they are available in the community. I figured for less than half the tuition of private school I could get him things for home that would be able to challenge him. So far so good. We may have to change things up in the future. Sometimes I joke about packing up and moving to Reno or another place with HG schools, but it really wouldn't work well for us at this point.

We enrolled our DS6 in one the "best" private schools for Kindergarten. I say "best" because I realize that was my perception, and now know that just because a school may get the highest test scores, it may not be the best fit for every child. Our DS had a terrible year. He had daily time outs or lost play time for being too loud, talkative and disruptive, and by the end of the year the wind seemed to have been taken out of his sails. DH and I understood that he needed to follow rules and directions, but when we read his end of the year report, it confirmed that it was just a bad fit. After some sleepless nights we realized that the financial sacrifice we were making wasn't worth it. We just enrolled him in our local public school for first grade. He's only been there for a few weeks but my DH and I just have a good feeling about it. The teacher seems very much on the same page with us, and has made herself very available. The biggest benefit is that I was able to cut my hours to part time so I can pick our DS up from school every day instead of him having to go to afterschool care. Now we can plan activities that we wouldn't have time for otherwise. We are also considering enrolling him in guitar lesson twice a week, instead of once a week. Time and lack of funds wouldn't have allowed this previously. We're considering home schooling at some point, and we'll have to re evaluate at that time since that will be a huge financial commitment. Although money is tight, we would have kept him at the private school if we had been happy. Like most families I think our sacrifices will vary depending on what DS needs are at that particular time, having to balance time versus money.

DD11 was in a wonderful private school pre-k to 1st grade. They recommended early entrance to K and kept her challenged. A job transfer forced a school change that was a painful experience for DD and us. So with 6 weeks left of 4th grade, we decided to sell our home only to move 15 miles to a GT friendly school district. We also downsized our home in case we ended up homeschooling and I would stay home with DD. Turned out that this public school really lived up to their reputation and DD is thriving.

Now we are figuring out what DS5 might need next year. I hope our schools can provide a good environment for him as well, since we are staying here for DD.

Jen

I missed this thread so I feel I'm coming in a little late and probably shouldn't post since we are in the preschool phase. But, I see our future already and I don't think we will even attempt public school. We tried a social preschool and it was definitely not a good fit, which led us to scramble and place DD in a Spanish Immersion program which is academic since they are two years ahead of the public schools. My DD is in the 3 yr old class but is already doing kindergarten work. We knew when we went this direction that the prospects of putting her in the public school program would not be advisable since she would already be taught 2nd grade work by then. The nice thing is the school will go through 5th grade and as long as DD is thriving we will plan to keep her there and then look to move her to another academic program. The funny/sad thing is we moved to our neighborhood for the public school and its reputation so we pay the price for this area. We will probably reevaluate this in the future and consider moving to a less pricey neighborhood since our extra money will be going to the private sector.

Sounds like a good plan if she continues to enjoy and like where she is at. Just wanted to say though, that you never know with public school. It varies greatly on the school. I say this because we put our DS5 in a social/play-based preschool at 4 and it was a complete failure as well. We thought we were doing good because we knew no preschool could meet his academic needs. Then when that failed we put him in another play-based/slightly academic preschool (which did notice his needs and abilities) and he did much better there..but still wasn't learning anything. After that a Montessori school opened up and we put him there for the last 6 months of school and he did great! So after our failures at the play-based setting we weren't sure about public school, but with a full-grade skip and differentiation it really isn't at all the same as his social playbased setting. It is much more academic since they are giving him work that is over 4 years above his grade level...and his school only goes up to 2nd grade so they are definitely adjusting things for him. We were pleasantly surprised. Just wanted to say, that sometimes it can be done. And like the oposite of your story, ironically before having DS we moved to a neighborhood we liked that was in an average district. It wasn't in one of the upperclass areas all around us with better schools and more gifted kids. We debated, but I figured we would have an average kid and he doesn't need to be in the best of the best schools (there were other reasons too). But then we ended up with a child like ours. Kind of funny how things work. But I am still glad we aren't in one of the other districts because I doubt they would make the accomodations that our school district is. They would most likely just give him a little enrichment.

I think this has worked in our situation as well. If we were in an upperclass district with many kids who were very bright to moderately gifted I think we would have gotten a lot of people telling us they were well-versed in dealing with smart kids and would have, at most, gotten some enrichment. As it is, in our small more average district, they are very open to trying different educational approaches since my kids are less typical.

Irony is part of my life. One of the mothers on this board works in the school district we live in and her daughter goes to the school our child would go to if we chose that route. I think you hit it on the nose with the school districts that are praised districts thinking they have seen it all and not really bending beyond what they have already established. After talking with the other mother I am more certain that the school will not do much for my DD. If you have a child in the MG+ bracket than the school seems to be a great fit but any child over that bracket is not really getting the attention they need. I suspect if we lived in Austin ISD or a smaller town in the surrounding areas they would be more willing to work with the parents and children. I really don't know if I want to take a chance at this point especially since DD is happy and thriving at her school. And who is to say that will continue. I suspect that right now her challenge is the foreign language but she is quickly picking it up. If and when she is at a point that the material is too easy we will talk to the school about moving her up which they are willing to do ... another sign that we found a great school. But through discovering this term gifted and reading the posts here I am the first to admit that what works today might be the worst thing in the future so I certainly will never say never. I will say that right now we seem to have found a great fit for DD and am crossing my fingers that we will be able to keep her in that school through 5th grade since research shows kids learning a foreign language retain it and their fluency if they are active in it through 5th grade.