Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Intro- Mom to DD6

Hello,

I'm am a mom to DD6 who was tested for GT at end of K but missed the threshold by 3pts in our district. Probably a good thing because we needed this year in G1 for her to get the hang of a large school experience w/o the drama of leaving the classroom one afternoon a week on a bus.

She's in an inclusion class, which I originally thought would be good but it seems like the chaos of being with the 6 special ed kids who are all behavior problems is not helping her learn boundaries.

DD is also an only child.

Anyway, I'm just struggling with trying to teach her to behave like everyone else when she just isn't like everyone else. Teachers said that next year she will be in G&T most likely, but I don't think one afternoon a week is going to cut it.

Can't HS because I need to work.

So I come to you desperate and looking for other people who feel my pain and know that Gifted is actually another kind of special need.

My state doesn't get that and neither do the people around me :-(

Thanks for listening!

Welcome aboard! There are many here who understand exactly what you are going through. Like you, I needed to earn an income. My son only made it 3 weeks this year in PS. I ended up with a career change. I purchased a preschool where I now work and h/s my son.

Once he gets to where he needs more than I can provide I don't know what we'll do but for now it's working. I think the key is to do what you have to to meet your DD's needs today and worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

Welcome Gracie's Mom,
I'm wondering what kind of test and what kind of giftedness. What do you see about your daughter that tells you that
1) she is different
2) she has special educational needs that aren't being met.

I'm not trying to pick on you, I'm pressuring you to release the details -
1) because I know that you've had them bottled up for so long - it just isn't socially acceptable to spill those particular beans
2) because this will determine how best to met your dd's needs
3) this will build you library of stories that you can use with the school folks to accomplish your goals

What I've noticed with myself is that I start out with a feeling of 'something is wrong' and if there is no support and safety, i just stay there! But with safety and support, I - slowly - start to unravel what is giving me that feeling. Josh Shane has a catagory of non-linear thinkers called 'systems thinkers' which means we see the big picture in bright lights, and have to translate our big picture into details in order to share the picture with other people who process their world more linearly.

So - do tell!

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Grins,

That "system thinker" explains my DS to a T. Is that a book by Josh Shane? If it is, I need to read it. Can you give me the particulars?

There are so many of us here that can relate to this so welcome!

My DS is 5 and is in a normal K classroom. There have been issues galore but the good news is that the school is finally starting to see what I've been telling them all year.

Is she getting into trouble at school? Do the teachers see that she she needs more? What exactly is an inclusion class?

Hi Grinity,

Thanks for the hello and I'm more than happy to share. You hit the nail on the head actually about keeping it bottled up. It is rough for me because my niece is autistic and low functioning, so I really don't feel comfortable talking about the challenges presented by having a smarter than average child arond my family.

DD is different in many ways, and I first noticed it about the time she turned one. She has always been able to synthesize information quicker than my nieces and nephews at similar ages. She was able to connect the dots between cause and effect at a young age, and once she became verbal we learned just how much about life she already understood.

When she was about 2.5 my friend, who is an art therapist, was playing with her and brought over some drawings and said, "I think DD is gifted". Somewhat stunned I asked why, and she explained that at that age children draw people a certain way. In a nutshell they don't start drawing fingers, eyebrows, nostrils (the details) until much later. That coupled with their verbal interchange was a clue to her.

She was reading by age three and would pester me to teach her more and more words. We started going through workbooks like water. Her favorite show on TV was How It's Made. She seemed to teach herself math a some point because I got a math workbook and she read the directions and did the problem son her own. She questioned everything, and I would pray sometimes that she would just go play with barbies for a bit and leave me alone, LOL.

Today at age 6 she reads at what I suspect is a high school level. We rarely encounter a word she can't read. It still freaks me out when I expect her to stumble on something she's reading out loud and she aces it.

She went to private Kindergarten with only 5 students and was able to get very individual attention. Her teacher recommended we get her tested at our public school, which starts a small G&T program in Grade 1. She took the Otis-Lennon test and scored a 127, so not gifted by that score.

The teacher explained that she suspected that DD would do better once she had gotten used to the school and classroom. She will be re-tested this spring.

Wow, this is a long, long post!!!

Bottom line, as I have begun over the past year to learn about giftedness, I see where so many of the struggles we have with her are part of that whole package. The strong will, the stubborn streak, the perfectionism etc. Her anger when she cannot do something correctly is amazing.

I will end this post by saying that she is very much like I was as a child. Unfortunately for me, my parents chose to attempt to beat the "difference" out of me, and wanted me to be like all the other kids. I was labeled as weird by students and had few friends. Teachers said I was emotionally immature. While my test scores were always high, my school grades were average to poor because I just didn't care. All anyone did was tell me that I was not working up to my potential. I refuse to let that happen to DD.

Thanks to years of personal counseling, and lots of self-help books I have finally gotten to a point where I do achieve my potential. I know that there is nothing wrong with me and I have found many other adults who are just like me and I have a great life. Still I wonder where I could have been by now if things had been different.

Thanks for reading!!!

>>>>>>>>hugs<<<<<<<<<<<

Thank you for sharing your story. You so clearly want the best for your DD and to spare her the pain you went through.

There is lots of great support, understanding and fantastic ideas here.

Welcome!

Yeah Josh...where's the book? hummm?

It's just a paragraph in a lecture - but if you have a chance to hear Josh lecture - it's well worth it!

Dottie help - can you fill me in on the Otis-lennon test?

Meanwhile - try reading '5 Levels of Gifted' by Dr. Deb Ruf. i think you'll find it interesting....

Grinity

Just wanted to say welcome and that I can also relate to much of what you describe. This site has been an amazing resource for me. In fact, I'm kind of addicted to the advice! I consult here before making any big decisions for ds6! LOL

I understand the struggle between wanting your child to fit in with everyone else and understanding that that might not be a possibility. But, being or thinking like everyone else is boring!

Yes, being gifted often means that a child has special needs. Getting those needs met is a challenge, but you're taking the right steps by educating yourself and coming here.

Not sure about that test score...I agree with Grinity-read Ruf's 5 levels of Giftedness. This might give you more information than a score on one test on one given day.

Glad you are here, and know that many of us have felt everything you described in this thread and are happy to provide support.