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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 10
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 10 |
My husband and I are so confused and frustrated with our son's difficulties in school. We just don't know where else to turn. I'm hoping other parents here will be able to offer some insight.
Here's the situation. Our 7 year old has always been very insightful...seems to notice very subtle things that other people miss, patient...will work on his Legos for hours and imaginative...loves art and has an ongoing make believe storyline with his younger brother. We never in a million years thought he would have any difficulty in school. Then in Kindergarten we start hearing from his teacher that he can't sit still during rug time, is humming and distracting the other kids, seems to be in his own world, very spaced out etc. This was ongoing throughout the school year. We thought he might be held back but his teacher said he obviously knew all the material and was smart, he was just sort of "in his own head". So he moved on to 1st grade.
In first grade, his teacher noticed all the same things but said a lot of this was common with "gifted" children, and she suspected this was the case with him. He was tested with the Naglieri Non-verbal and he scored in the 99th percentile which qualified him for the GATE program. Well, then we wound up moving to a different school district whose GATE program doesn't start until the 4th grade and has a whole different set of qualifications. In the meantime, he's been having all the same issues in class and his teacher is beyond frustrated. What should we do? Part of me strongly feels that these problems are tied to his giftedness. But after hearing that the Naglieri isn't all that accurate, I start to wonder if it's just ADD or some behavioral problem. We do have an appt. for him to be tested at the local University in March. They said they're going to use the Woodcock Johnson. In the meantime, has anyone else here experienced similar difficulties? I just want to do what's best for him.
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 283
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 283 |
He needs interesting challenging things for his brain to work on. If he knows all that material already, then he is trying to ... "cope" and amuse himself.
I think other parents will chime in. You're not alone. This is the place to be.
Can he read? (Not all gifted children read early.)
Numeracy?
Written output?
Puzzless? Mazes?
Chess?
Art work?
hang in there
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,134
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,134 |
We live in a district that uses the Nagleiri. Antecdotally, I know a good number of kids who took the NNAT and then went on for further achievenment or IQ testing. One thing to know about the NNAT is it tests visual spatial strengths.
Anyway, I don't know any child who tested THAT high on the NNAT who didn't test quite gifted, at least spatially. Your child certainly might have other things going on and it's good you're having him fully assessed. But I'd be really surprised if your child isn't quite gifted. I don't think his behaviors as you describe them are that unusual for a gifted child in a non-engaging environment. My own child definitely found ways to entertain himself that the teacher was not fond of as a kindergartner and first grader. Some teachers really feel the gifted kids are the highly engaged ones. That might be true in some cases, but my son was the gifted child that completely checked out on what was going on in the classroom (and so was I). My son (3rd grade) is now homeschooling.
Good luck with your assessment! I hope you get some answers.
Last edited by kimck; 01/15/10 06:23 AM.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 425
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Posts: 425 |
I think you'll find that many of us have had the exact same or similar experience you describe. Many of us have considered ADD/ADHD as well, but please know that the symptoms of a bored gifted child are much the same as a child with ADHD. Also, it's not unusual for gifted children to also have ADHD. We're still not sure if there are real attention issued going on or if we've just never found the right environment to challenge and interest our son. Do some searches on this site, and you'll see this is the most common issue our gifted children face. It sounds to me like your son is needing a challenge. I wish my son "checked out" instead of just disrupting everyone else. When he's bored, he talks incessantly and can't sit still. If he's interested and challenged, he can focus for hours. I think it's a good thing you are addressing this now because it's tough on kids who go years without ever being challenged. Like my son, they do not learn to work hard to achieve, and when they are finally faced with a challenge, they don't know what to do. The result can be underachievement, and that's quite a challenge to overcome. It sounds like your son is doing well academically, but it appears that he's finding a way to occupy his mind while everyone else catches up. This is why a lot of us resort to homeschooling, or our children bounce around a bit until we find the best school fit. However, some schools are great with appropriate accommodations. If GATE is not an option for your son at his age, maybe after the testing is complete, the school can offer him accellerated classwork (curriculum differentiation), subject accelleration, full grade skip, or extra projects of interest to him. Do you think they'd be open to making some of those changes?
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 430
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Posts: 430 |
The same thing is going on with my son. I know that a lot of times ADD gets confused with giftedness. I tried to work with the school to move him up and see if having something more interesting to learn would help with the behavior but the school said until his behavior improved they weren't going to do anything.
We noticed at home that he was having trouble focusing long enough to complete a sentence and that he couldn't do almost anything we asked him no matter how hard he tried because he couldn't focus long enough.
I took him to get evaluated and the psych said that he had ADD. We started medicine and he's been a different child at school. I'm not saying that being bored didn't have anything to do with it though. In fact the psych said that if the school ever does give him work on his level we should try to take him off of the meds and see how it goes.
It's all very confusing to me because the symptoms of ADD are so close to the traits of a bored gifted kid but for now the medicine was our only option and it seems to be going well.
Good luck!
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 748
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 748 |
Our DS's teacher told us he had ADHD and said we were ruining his life by refusing to medicate him- I totally understand your frustration! (We later confirmed with our ped and our psych that he does not have ADHD, he's "just" HG+) We changed schools and found a better fit. But it still wasn't enough. He's now 2 weeks into a grade skip and a completely different child. Homework is fast, he's attentive and focused at school. We've found that level where it's just enough without being too much. At least for now!
The one major difference I've noticed as a teacher is that gifted kids who do not have ADHD appear to not be paying attention. However, they likely can tell you what you said, what it was about and answer the question, all while reading a book, fidgeting and humming. A true-ADHD child (gifted or not) will likely not be able to tell the teacher what she was talking about or answer the question. They often look the same to an observer and takes a little more effort to find out if the child is really distractable and overactive or if it really requires so little brain power that he/she can do other things too.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 171
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 171 |
You are not alone. My son was thought to be ADD before being identified. Tried meds, side effects. He has been thought to be every set of letters you can imagine. Currently he is going through the full battery of ability , achievement , ot, speech language test and counselor. i want a correct diagnosis. I have spent many nights crying trying to figure out how to help my son as well. The school can make you feel very guilty so be careful. My son is failing most subjects. I am in wait mode to see Dr. Amend in Feb. Hopefully he can get me in the right direction. Just stay on it and keep documentation. Seeing an outside counselor who said that I was going above and beyond to help my son let me rest easier.
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,743
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In his head, needing to do something with his brain to manage and ADD behavior was my son in first grade. This encouraged testing. The school did WJ achievement and IQ.
This year in 3rd there still is not enough challenge but the kids are much busier. Sometimes small adjustments in work and talking so he knows you understand can help.
There's lots of help here. Keep sharing your thoughts and sking your questions. Read books on gifted too. They help alot.
Last edited by onthegomom; 01/15/10 08:46 AM.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Hi Luvmyguys, Welcome! Here's some advice I posted on another thread about the 'big questions' - and you used to think the big question was the meaning of life. Welcome!
You son might be gifted, he might have ADHD, he might be gifted with ADHD, or he might be 'bright but underchallenged' with a 'little bit of ADHD.'
Is it possible for you to afford testing with a private tester who understand gifted kids? If so, I would stongly reccomend it. It might even be covered by your insurance. Your pediatrician might be a place to go and explain your concerns.
If you decide to get testing the next step is to figure out how much traveling you had better do to find a tester. If you son is like most gifted (MG, moderately gifted)kids then any tester with experience with gifted children is likely to be helpful. If you son is rather more like the kids we talk about here, then we say he has a higer LOG (level of giftedness) and may be HG or PG. If this is the case, you won't get much help from your typcial local tester, unless you live in a major metropolitan area - these kids are just too rare, and you get lucky.
How are you supposed to know what you son's LOG is? This is a chicken and egg question.
I would start by reading the book, 5 levels of Giftedness by Dr. Deb Ruf.
Then I would spend some time 'Afterschooling' to find your child's readiness level. You can check his bookshelf and see what 'lexile' level the books he prefers are. You can go to singapore math website and take a placement test as if you were homeschooling, or if he prefers to work from the computer, try a free trial of Aleks.com The trick is to get to know your child as a learner. This is have the added benifit of giving him something intellectually challenging while you wait for the school and the testing, etc. Plus it's fun.
Or, it will be fun, once you dust off whatever 'underachievement' he has already collected. I'm talking 10 minutes a day, more if you both want, but 5 days a week so he gets into the habit of doing some challenging work every school day.
Once you've gotten to know your son as a learner, even just a week or two, see if you can get into his classroom to observe. Once you get used to how your son learns, you may be quite shocked to see how much 'waiting around' he has to do, and although some of our little female gifites have the Emotional Quotient developed at age 6 to self-sooth through hours of bordome, it's pretty rare for a male 6 year old to have this strenth that well developed.
It may be litterally frightening for your son to be surrounded by kids who learn so differently than himself for that many hours a day. At 6, my son thought he was in a special class for slow learners, and felt humiliated by his placement. Now he is 13 and has learned to value every person for the wide variety of strengths that are out there, but it took some years for him to get there.
What do you think?
Grinity
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 465
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Posts: 465 |
The one major difference I've noticed as a teacher is that gifted kids who do not have ADHD appear to not be paying attention. However, they likely can tell you what you said, what it was about and answer the question, all while reading a book, fidgeting and humming. Nice to hear this comment and from a teacher also! DS will be singing and doing gymnastics at the same time and yet he not only will know what I was saying to him but will be able to interject himself (appropriately) into the conversation his sister is having with her step-dad in the next room. As he likes to say - "He is the ultimate multi-tasker." What I would like to see is an activity that is so engaging it stops the humming, foot tapping, cartwheeling. Sigh...........
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