Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to deal with emotional sensitivities

To be honest, I've only ever once found a school counselor who did 'understand' and she was instrumental in getting my son his gradeskip.

I think in this case that 'his parents' are the right person that he needs to communicate his feelings too. It is so hard to really 'take in' what it must feel like to spend 6 hours a day 'being good' while the other kids are learning to work hard, with people you don't respect, who don't see or like you. I'm not saying that he isn't able to 'put this aside' from time to time, but it never goes away until the child gets into a learning situation where they are busy learning to learn.

My son used to bristle at the other children 'ignoring him.' I think it was a combination of them not really wanting to match him in his level of intensity of interest, and them not being able to. For weeks he complained about a little girl in daycare who 'wouldn't' talk to him. They were 3. I asked about it, and the teachers explained that she was shy and didn't talk at all except at home to her parents. I think that when keen observation is coupled with lack of experience, misunderstandings are bound to occur.

As for you son being less mature than others his age, I beg you to consider that he has lots more to handle than others his age. If a 7 year old was suddenly asked to care for younger sibs, cook dinner, and keep the house clean,(and I know that some of you did this) it would be visible and understandable if they didn't measure up to the expected standard. Maybe dinner would be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every night. I really think that a highly sensitive gifted child in a poor fit classroom, who feels unliked and unseen on a daily basis, and isn't learning, faces a similarly adult-sized task of keepinging their emotions 'on hold' during the school day.

I will say that in some ways, classrooms designed for older kids are less stressful for the highly gifted child than age designed classrooms, in that people expect middle school aged children to have opinions and preferences. People also expect a certian level of crankiness due to 'puberty' - personally, I've observed that the expectations have gotten easier as the years go by. 'Blind obedience' isn't nearly as large on the teaching agenda as one gets older.

((hugs))
Grinity

"Most gifted kids are highly compassionate and patient with others,
Opps Cat - over the line here! Or do you have references for above?"
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Hi Grinity,


As for references re: the above, I was thinking about this at the time: http://www.sengifted.org/articles_s...tInGiftedChildrenMoralSensitivity.shtml. I didn't realize it was considered a myth, so I will definitely look at the Ruf article,

Abstract
Starting from an early age, many gifted children show evidence of moral sensitivity. These children tend to care about others, want to relieve pain and suffering or show advanced ability to think about such abstract ideas as justice and fairness. The beginnings of moral sensitivity are found in the development of empathy between child and care-taking parent.
Deirdre V. Lovecky is a licensed psychologist with a practice in Rhode Island.

(which may not be all that helpful on this forum anyway, since my experience tends to be with family and friends who are probably in the HG area, but likely not hitting IQ's of 160 or not PG, which is no doubt an entirely different thing).

I too keep thinking about homeschooling, and if you had asked me 3 months ago what I thought of homeschoolers, I would have had some very very serious concerns.
Cat

Weirdly, my son in particular has a super developed sense of justice that gets him acting impatient and stubborn instead of acting emphatic. In elementary school, he'd get on his high horse, decide something was dangerous, (like allowing small children to play 'snake' with the computer's electric cord,) make a big fuss out of concern for safety, start yelling, and end up in the principal's office.

My son is the exact same way.