Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy being challenged and too much work.

My son was encouraged to do testing because he wanted to be challenged more. In feb. I want him to take the explore and I'm wondering if he will buy into this.

Well the school gave him too much work and he is stressed. There intentions are good but they may lack experience. So he thinks being challenged = more work. I am trying to explain to him his situation might need adjusting and to be patient. I'm not sure they will fix it as I have already tried. Challenge should equal appropriate work not more work. He is a very self motivated kid and usually does not mind a little extra work. I feel like the school is killing his love for learning.

School just cut down the amount of Math problems he gets and he should still get all the instruction he needs. This is good.

The problem is he is saying school is boring and he doesn't want to do his above level work but knows he can't quit. I think school really did a job on him. I'm really down on all this. It feels like my hard work has back fired. I guess I'll just hope he feels the change as an improvement.

Hi OTGmom,
It sounds like the school is at least trying to be flexable. It takes a bit of tweaking to get things right. Most kids really won't work on their own 'quietly at the back of the classroom' indefinitly - you son has as much right to be part of an interactive experience as anyone else - it isn't his fault that his readiness level is where it is.

Boring can mean a variety of different things, and you'll probably be the one stuck with sleuthing it out.

Sometimes we work really hard and learn more about what doesn't work so that we can finally get to the place where we can do what does work....it can take while.


Best Wishes,
Grinity

Sorry to hear about your sons troubles at school. Is there any way that perhaps they might let you send in some stuff for him to do or perhaps use an external source for his gifted ed? Something like, EPGY, perhaps?

I have heard so many times about how some schools just don't get the difference between more challenging work and busy work. It makes sense that busy work would drive your son to distraction. I hope your son feels better about it all soon.

Right now it feels like I need to leave it all alone with the G&T teacher. She is willing to give him more work but not give up the regular work he needs to do. DS says he is overwhelmed with his regular class work and doesn't need more work. He needs to give his brain a rest. G&T teacher says he is fighting some of her work. So from her point of view: why do more with him when it's already hard? The school position is they don't have test outs available and that classes can't be tested with just pencil and paper. School is concerned he will miss somethings. He also can't replace his math with another.

I'm not sure they get he needs appropriate work not more work. I don't think they get how it hurts him to not be challenged. I'm not sure if he could handle more volume if he went up a grade. That might feel boring too. Feels like I hit a wall.

I would not be surprised if he starts losing his all As report card or acts up in class. OR turns into a nightmare when I pick him up from school.

I've been telling him to do his best so they can challenge him. I think he feels betrayed. He is glad they made adjustments but just wants out.

I'm so sad about all of this. It feels like I made the situation worse with advocacy, insulted and made school mad at me and my son now has a bad additude about school and being challenged. I tried very hard but that's not enough because I didn't know what I was doing.

Well things are a bit better with my DS in 3rd, but I'm still concerned. I went in this week to help in art and he was not zoning out like a week ago. He seems less upset about school too.

This is my take on what's happening. His 3rd grade class does a Math page review while he is allowed to skip it and do his 4th Grade Math. He says he has trouble concentrating at this time. This seems strange to me because he is very good a tuning out his surroundings. So I'm thinking he just doesn't want to do it. He also can do the 4th Grade Math during class when everyone is doing their independent daily work. His teacher says he begins free reading before his 4th Gr. Math. G&T teachers idea is he is not to bring the 4th Gr. so they can see he manages it during the day. He has brought it home occassionally. Right now he is 2 lessons behind. Usally he is an ambitious kid.

He is not too please about this math still because it is too easy and too much review. I am trying to help him find value in this even if it's not what it should be. He does except that he his doing half as much work than if he would do it next yr the regular class way. I also acknowledging his feelings about how it is not challenging. I tell him this is a unique experience that he is working just 2 kids with the G&T teacher. It is a time to show her what he knows and do his best despite everything.

I'm not sure the G&T teacher realizes how bad this is for him despite our converstations. He would rather do his mindware book than this 4th math. I don't think he should be able to quit it. I worry that school will view his situation as he is not able to handle more challenges. But it's really about they are not challenging him enough. This G&T teacher knows he is taking the EXPLORE in January. Maybe that will be more informative. Does anybody think it would help us to take the SCAT too?

Maybe the new game plan should be if they are not going to get the challenge right, then he should just get out his mindware books, that he actually gets something out of.

The hard part of this is I'm just a mom, not a Math expert or teacher. I don't know exactly what he needs but it seems very obvious this is not enough challenge.

Any ideas how to make this better? or help him deal. We can't get into another school or full grade accellorate right now to another grade.