Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Documentary about New Yorkers & Kindergarten

The More Child has a link to a documentary on YouTube that follows the adventures(?) of three families trying to get their kids into K in New York.

http://themorechild.com/2009/11/27/documentary-getting-in-kindergarten/

Wow.

Really lovin' my backwoods existence right now.

Fascinating. Thanks for sharing.

Wow. I'm speechless.

I'm glad we don't live in NYC!! I felt so bad for some of those kids having to go through all that just to get into K.

Wow, that's incredible, I had no idea it was like that in NYC!

OK, I will probably regret this, but I can't resist.

We are one of those families.

When this aired (two years ago) I was ripped apart by the NYC Mom population... predominantly for crying in front of my child when we received rejection letters(a terrible mother! no boundaries!), but also for speaking so openly and cavalierly about the very process I was trying to navigate and (take advantage of) (I was trying to get financial aid to private school.)

I agreed to be part of this documentary because I thought it might help me in the process, frankly, and because I thought it would be informative for people. Anyway I had no IDEA of the hornet's nest I was stumbling into.

I had a child I worried about constantly. He was extremely gifted but also so extremely overexciteable and easily bored that any group setting was a huge problem. During the year that this was filmed (he was four) he was experiencing his first exacerbation of what I now realize is PANDAS and am treating as an autoimmune disease. I could not imagine him in a classroom of 30 kids (standard size here) and thought the private school system, with its rigid structures, high standards and small classes was his only hope for being able to go to school.

He took the ERB (WPPSI) and scored almost all 19s, so I thought it was a real possibility. I was deluding myself. The scores caught the schools' attention, but they would never have accepted a child like mine. They could see quite clearly that he would have behavioral problems. (They were right about that.) They want bright kids but not problematic kids. The fact that so many bright kids are also problematic is not a real concern to them, because they have so many kids to choose from.

Anyway this documentary ended up contributing significantly to our pain... and I learned a valuable lesson about the power of the media. (While I had no real problems with the way she edited this film, she had her own agenda obviously and the finished product reflect that more than it reflects our real experience.)

The school situation is terrible for NYC kids, and worst of all for gifted kids who need a little extra love and attention.

I am now homeschooling my son.

Well, nobody here is going to rip you apart; this is a safe place, I'm pretty sure. You clearly face challenges specific to your location that not all of us here do, in addition to those challenges specific to raising a gifted child that the rest of us share. All of your posts here all along have shown so clearly your love for your son, and your desire to do what's best for him. All last year when you were trying to decide what to do about school, I remember feeling such respect for your ability to think through what was going on, and your willingness to swim against the current if you thought it would serve your child best.

I hope that all continues to be well for you and your family.

peace
minnie

Ah - I watched the documentary, and it occurred to me that that child's mother might well be here, and ought to be here if she wasn't already :-)

FWIW I really warmed to you in watching it, and thought your DS came over as a super kid, too, albeit with some problems. I admired your honesty and clear thinking. Of course you shouldn't have cried in front of him [ETA actually subsequent posters in this thread have convinced me I'm wrong about this, which makes me feel better too] - but in that situation I'm sure I would have done too; and I remember thinking that in being aware that he was picking up on the stress, you were one step ahead of people who thought their kids were oblivious to it!

I'm sorry the gifted public school didn't work out, and hope homeschooling is going well for you both.

Bronxmom, I thought you came across really well and I don't think crying in front of him was bad at all.

People cry, its normal and its a good life lesson for your son, especially since he seemed to realize that mum was just a little frustrated and disappointed, at that time. We cant (and shouldn't) always hide how we are feeling (kids know anyway!). Crying is a perfectly natural, normal and harmless emotion and along with open communication can be a great bonding experience. As long as he knew you weren't crying because of him, but because of the school and the process, I don't see the problem at all.

Good luck to you in your future endeavors!

I agree. When I watched it, I had this immediate "oh no" reaction, but I thought about it (before seeing your post) and changed my mind. When I was growing up, I was definitely taught that we should hide our emotions if showing them has the potential for hurting someone else. I hid a lot of things from my parents that I should not have--and my sister even hid the fact that she had been molested. So I am trying to show DD that when you have a strong emotion, or a problem of any kind, you have to express it. You get it out, you deal with it, and you move on. I thought you and your family looked great in the documentary. (And I was totally jealous of your son's little science gear; I wish I could trust my almost-4-year-old with that stuff.)

Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you're homeschooling--how wonderful for you and your son.