Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Hothousing vs. Gifted (learning letters/sounds)

Hi,

R, darling,
What difference does it make? How does this affect your life?
Who cares what some other mom does? Is it your sister? Even if it's a family member, if she hasn't asked for your advice, don't share!

A child can't be enriched much beyond what their 'Headmeat' is able to take in. Justing having a Mom who wants to put that much energy into teaching their child at this early age is a pretty good sign of having a 'brighter than average' Mom, which generally correlates with a 'brighter than average' baby.

Part of being a good mom is to be 'tuned in' to baby and open to what baby likes to do. Not all of us are equally talented in this area. But even if we mess this up, if we are sharing a part of ourselves with out child, then that is good too. Some folks make mistakes, and put too much emphasis on only one area. I think the 'not tuned in' can be a problem, but that it is in the area of academics can't be - there is no way to put 6oz. of water in a glass that holds 4oz.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

This is all my opinion - no scientific proof at all.

I have met some serious hothousers, including a mom who started flashcards with her infant in a high chair and would give him a bite of food only when he pointed to the right flashcard. THAT is hothousing from my perspective. Forced learning by withholding something else the child needs- affection or food or whatever.

Buying educational toys and showing the child LeapFrog games and videos really doesn't fall into hothousing in my book. That's just being an attentive parent who has fallen for the marketing ploy of educational toy companies. If the child has toys and they happen to have an academic twist, I don't really see the harm in that. Every toy is designed with some "learning" component, whether old wooden blocks or a letter-pillar from LeapFrog.

Good comparison master of none. I agree, but will add, when that child is crying and screaming and kicking because he/she doesn't want to swim anymore, and the parent is forcing the swimming down his/her throat, regardless, then THAT is a problem. I've seen this done so many times with kids involved in sports, but it also happens with academics as well.

And my response to R is "they will all level out in 3rd grade"...







ok, bad joke. I know. Sorry!

I think it depends....
DD 2.8 had been recognizing some letters on her own since about 22 months, at 29 months I bought the leap frog letter factory and after one viewing she knew them all, upper and lower case and their sounds and pointed them out everywhere. Many of her toys are educational, we have a good mix, but what she plays with 99 precent of the time would be considered educational, but that is her choice, she is much more in to workbooks, puzzles, mazes, rhyming games, etc then dolls, her play kitchen, etc.

She has been asking how to read for several months...I mean even getting upset when looking at a new book saying "I don't know these words yet" very tearfully. So I have started showing her some site words while reading, which she learned in 2 days and now points out everywhere, plus she had been reading signs and street signs on her own for a while...she even asks to go for walks to read signs. I have started to show her how to sound out words now because she is so eager...if it works great, if not then she will learn when she's ready.

I guess you can't really know unless you are with them 24/7. DD has always been very advanced verbaly and mathmatically, but I would say mainly if I introduce a concept to her, or even mention a new concept, she tends to grasp it immediately....no flash cards, or drilling, just one conversation and she knows it....to me the drilling would be more hothousing, but I also believe no matter what yopu introduce when, if a child is not ready then he or she won't grasp it.

I have to say that I agree with Grinity. Why does this matter? Is there a reason you want to know whether this particular kid is gifted? There is simply no way for an outsider to know to what extent a child has been pushed, or how advanced the child would be if there had been no pushing.

As far as "learning" toys are concerned, certainly they are common enough in households in which kids do not know letters and colors, etc., at barely 2 years old. That said, of course it is also possible for a child to learn these things early and not be gifted. I don't think Ruf (or any expert) would disagree with that. Can you tell the difference between a gifted kid and a kid who is ahead but not gifted? Maybe, sometimes.

I don't think it matters at 26 months if the child is gifted or not. The child is obviously interested in what the mom is showing him so what's the harm? I don't feel like any learning is a bad thing unless a child is forced to do it.

I see kids riding up front when I suspect they may be a few pounds under the legal limit. I see parents giving 32oz sodas to their kids. I see parents grilling their kids with flashcards in the park. But these are not my kids and there's no real danger to those kids or anyone else... so why in the blazes would I care? I'm sure not going to say anything.

On the not too distant flip-side, I guarantee there are parents whose knickers get wickedly twisted when they see pictures of my children handling real guns. Or riding their bikes without helmets and Kevlar vests. Or getting chocolate chips AND maple syrup on their pancakes. The list is endless...

The absolute number one plaything in our household for seven years running is a toy that has caused more sibling battles than any other and would have CPS knocking on my door if they knew about it... a fully-functional, 100% genuine 6-ft length of mountain climber's rope.

So I guess I'd have a hard time with criticizing a parent who drills their kids with workbooks and flashcards. After all, according to some measures, our kids are just lucky to live through the day.

Think of it another way, at least the mother cares enough to educate the child.

As to being forced to learn, I was forced to learn a lot of things in school that I didn't have any interests in. I am not sure it's necessary bad. If I wasn't forced to learn multiplication table in grade school, I wouldn�t know how much fun graduate-level math could be!

Haha...we had a huge length of rope here too that caused endless fights. I had to eventually hide it because I couldn't take the bickering anymore.