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Also, my parents are very involved, and they and the nanny have always given him undivided attention. I just thought he never learned to be alone, and maybe that's true. But, we've been working on that for a long time, and he still struggles with it. Maybe he is feeling anxiety; is it enough to just continue to work on doing things for himself? If I get a phone call, he finds something to have a meltdown over. If I'm in the shower, same thing. Even in the car, he freaks out if I just want to listen to music and not play a game with him. He is even reluctant to make a decision for himself (perfectionism), yet he has an opinion on anything and will argue that the sky is really green until he's blue in the face. I'm exhausted trying to keep him occupied.

The problem is, when he gets frustrated, all reason goes out the window and he is just a little ball of feelings

joys-yes, my son loves both science and art. I find science to be a difficult subject to homeschool b/c it's not my favorite! I am working on trying to find something that is interesting and fun. Mostly it bores both of us to death which tells me I'm not doing the right thing. He LOVES science, so it's not the subject matter; it's the presentation I'm sure! Any suggestions? He wants to try some of the Lego educational products, but he's also interested in chemistry.

For what it's worth, DS seemed to take a long time to be comfortable being alone; he was probably 5 before he could even manage to go 10 minutes without calling for one of us or coming to find us. I don't think it was an anxiety issue. I think he just prefers company and/or an audience.

One thing that really helped us a lot was getting him a CD player and several CDs with stories (Greek legends, King Arthur, etc.). He plays these over and over again, often at a low volume, which makes me think he just likes the comfort of a human voice - like white noise but with gory imagery. He can be by himself for hours now with just occasional check-ins.

As an aside, I also think the CDs - whether stories or music - keep some segment of his brain occupied, which then allows the rest of his brain to focus better on the task at hand. I wonder if it would be helpful to your DS to have music playing while he does his schoolwork.

This sounds JUST like my DD. We did try counseling 9for issues related to anxiety when she was 4) and that was WORTHLESS! Every idea they offered, I had already tried. After going 4 times and realizing I was paying each time for advice, I already tried, we went at it alone. I can tell you that I have done a LOT of reading. DD is highly intense (she is textbook Dabrowski's theory of over-excitabilities). Like your son, she only does it at home. She knows it is not socially appropriate etc. One thing, that one of my friends who has a GT child as well was told from a counselor her DD was seeing was to follow the same diet that ADHD kids are recommended to try. Basically, we monitor her sugar intake BIG TIME! I can tell you that it has REALLY changed these crazy outbursts! With Halloween just being here, she turned back to her old ways with the candy being around. So much that SHE even noticed it when I pointed it out, and asked me to get rid of it for her! I know it sounds crazy, but it's worth a shot. She was a different child within about a week of cutting her sugar WAY OUT. When she does have it when she goes to a party or what not... it's like 3 days that we know it will be out of her system (I know it doesn't take that long, but she really seems to be affected by it that long.) If you do go the route of counseling, please find someone skilled in gifted kids. I think that was part of our problem, but really, wroking it out on our own worked. We devised a series of "coping skills" for when these outbursts happened. The MAIN thing, for me, was to remain calm. I used to get so upset because she was being so irrational, that it was her strong-willed personality battling mine, that it was a no win situation. I found that speaking very calmly calmed her down. She may be angry for a short bit while I am doing it because you turn emoitions off THAT quickly, but she soon realized she could calm down too. We did deep breathes and that helped tremendously. Now, she just says.... I think I need a hug, because that was one of the things we talked about as a resolution. Never try to have a discussion when the child's emotions are flaring like that. Wait til it all calms down and then discuss it. Now, I tell her she isn't making good choices and that usually ends it with "I'm sorry... can I start over." I never thought it would work but the diet played a HUGE role in the length and frequency of these outbursts! HTH!

j
Movingup6-How old is child #2 now? About a year and a half ago, we saw this same escalation of tantrums and major frustration. We implemented the 5 minute rule. We'd say, "5 minutes." Then for 5 minutes we would completely ignore him. At first he'd hang on our legs, scream, cry and we'd pretend he was nothing more than a fly. It was pretty funny walking around with a child on your leg and pretending he wasn't there! Pretty soon, he'd go to his room, and scream and cry. After five minutes, only if he'd calmed down, we'd go in and have a conversation. Not long after that, as soon as we'd say "5 min" he'd go straight to his room and stop screaming/crying before he even shut the dooor. Then, the tantrums stopped altogether. Now, here we are again. Dh thinks we should just begin the same "5 min" rule again.