Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Ridiculous school behaviors

Does anyone else have a DC that just does ridiculous things at school or is it just me? My DS5 doesn't do really awful things or mean things, just dumb things that I can't for the life of me figure out. DH and I are just so annoyed. Things like running around the room, interupting the teacher, not doing his work, etc...and now it has turned into more serious things such as pouring juice on a girls arm because he "thought it was funny" writing on a chair with a crayon, putting the water in the sink on full blast. I just can't imagine him doing some of these things. Particularly today with the writing on a chair...he has never done anything like that. (sigh) It is just so frustrating because he doesn't have behavior issues at home, and he is a very caring compliant kid who is not trying to be rude at all. Some of this may clearly have to do with them not challenging him (like yesterday when he met with another child for reading and was pulled out for something else he had a perfect day)...but again he needs to know that those behaviors are not acceptable. It is a tough balance. We have talked and talked, we have a reward plan to focus on the positive, we have consequences that address the negative. I am going to keep up with all of that but I feel like we have tried everything and now I have gotten to where I am just waiting until he grows out of it and can't stress about it. DH is wondering if there is something that is wrong with him because he doesn't seem to learn to improve behaviors. Although he knows how to behave at home so that makes me wonder. Anyone else been here? You can be honest and let me know you haven't if it's only me...I'm a big girl, I can take it : )

This is the story of our life with DS6. The longer he remained unchallenged the worse the behaviors got. We even brought him to a neuropsychologist convinced something must be wrong with him. For us counseling and summer were the two things that have helped him the most. You are not alone.

well good Crisc, that makes two of us. It's so strange because in all other places other than school behavior is not an issue. I do think it has a lot to do with being unchallenged, but he is somewhat challenged. He doesn't do well with down time and the generally slow pace of things at school. He does okay with it at home....but I guess there is probably a lot more repetition of things at school that can get annoying.

I was going to say he sounds underchallenged or bored. Is he a very active kid- any psychomotor OE that makes it hard for him to sit when things get repetitive?

My DS at 5 was exactly like this in settings with a lot of kids and not a lot of intellectual stimulation. If not engaged, he makes it his business to become class clown.

I attended a camp with him this summer where I had to be present all day (Suzuki Piano Institute). Oh my goodness, non stop hilarity in good ways and bad ways all day long(at 8 1/2). I had parents approaching me and asking me if he's involved in drama (he's not, but maybe that's an idea for an outlet). Except at his master class where he was continuously engaged and challenged. He has grown out of the worst of it. He's also homeschooled now, so it's easier for him to behave in groups when necessary. It is totally a group dynamic thing for him. Alone or with a small group of kids, he's fine. Just last night, I had to punish him for not behaving appropriately at his Campfire group.

Anyway, it has improved somewhat over time if that's any comfort!

DS is just like this. In fact I think you read in another thread that he had behavior clinic today for some behavior that's so out of character for him. I think that a lot of it is that they are bored.

It could be boredom definitely...it's just strange. Today he apparently had to go to the principals office for coloring on his chair. He says that he changed 5 color cards for this one incident and lost all his recess. When I asked what the principal said to him he said she made him sit for a while and then later he said she said to him "maybe you colored on the chair because you were bored and the work was too easy'." I was quite confused as to why she would give him that idea. I am not sure if he was making that up and trying to indicate to me that was why he was doing it or what. It's hard to tell sometimes. He is a very honest kid but he has made up a couple stories at school this year mostly related to academics. Anyhow, I thought the statement was odd.

I guess this behavior is strange too because I am a school social worker and I spend a lot of time working with children and their behavior and analyzing what causes their behavior and trying to prevent it...and I can't seem to figure it all out with DS. I wish I could observe him like I do with the kids at school. That would make things so much more clear to me.

Jamie - what exactly is behavior clinic?

Will you call the school and find out what's going on?

According to DS it's where you sit in a room and write your first and last name on two pages of paper I guess it's like before school detention. He got written up and then had to go to that for 30 minutes this morning.

Wow Jamie, I am not sure the purpose of that. It sounds quite absurd. How does it even focus on the behavior? And also I don't think it's a very appropriate consequence for a child that age.

About calling the school, I don't know. I think I am going to hold off. I may mention it to his teacher though. We will see. I really am starting to think that DS said the principal said that because that is how he was feeling. But I could be wrong. I will attempt to broach the subject at breakfast and see.

He is an active child...but could sit forever doing something he is interested in. I think he definitely tends to have difficulty sitting during repetitive tasks and things that are moving at a very slow pace. I have watched him act "silly" to amuse himself and to make others smile or get some reaction. It does seem like most of he time he tells me about behaviors during the class it is when he is supposed to be doing a simple worksheet that is about 3 grade levels below his level....or when they are on the rug learning how to read or learning about other things. But sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason. Like when he goofs off walking in the hall. I guess he could be bored walking in the hall...but who isn't?