Does anyone else have a DC that just does ridiculous things at school or is it just me? My DS5 doesn't do really awful things or mean things, just dumb things that I can't for the life of me figure out. DH and I are just so annoyed. Things like running around the room, interupting the teacher, not doing his work, etc...and now it has turned into more serious things such as pouring juice on a girls arm because he "thought it was funny" writing on a chair with a crayon, putting the water in the sink on full blast. I just can't imagine him doing some of these things. Particularly today with the writing on a chair...he has never done anything like that. (sigh) It is just so frustrating because he doesn't have behavior issues at home, and he is a very caring compliant kid who is not trying to be rude at all. Some of this may clearly have to do with them not challenging him (like yesterday when he met with another child for reading and was pulled out for something else he had a perfect day)...but again he needs to know that those behaviors are not acceptable. It is a tough balance. We have talked and talked, we have a reward plan to focus on the positive, we have consequences that address the negative. I am going to keep up with all of that but I feel like we have tried everything and now I have gotten to where I am just waiting until he grows out of it and can't stress about it. DH is wondering if there is something that is wrong with him because he doesn't seem to learn to improve behaviors. Although he knows how to behave at home so that makes me wonder. Anyone else been here? You can be honest and let me know you haven't if it's only me...I'm a big girl, I can take it : )

This is the story of our life with DS6. The longer he remained unchallenged the worse the behaviors got. We even brought him to a neuropsychologist convinced something must be wrong with him. For us counseling and summer were the two things that have helped him the most. You are not alone.

well good Crisc, that makes two of us. It's so strange because in all other places other than school behavior is not an issue. I do think it has a lot to do with being unchallenged, but he is somewhat challenged. He doesn't do well with down time and the generally slow pace of things at school. He does okay with it at home....but I guess there is probably a lot more repetition of things at school that can get annoying.

I was going to say he sounds underchallenged or bored. Is he a very active kid- any psychomotor OE that makes it hard for him to sit when things get repetitive?

My DS at 5 was exactly like this in settings with a lot of kids and not a lot of intellectual stimulation. If not engaged, he makes it his business to become class clown.

I attended a camp with him this summer where I had to be present all day (Suzuki Piano Institute). Oh my goodness, non stop hilarity in good ways and bad ways all day long(at 8 1/2). I had parents approaching me and asking me if he's involved in drama (he's not, but maybe that's an idea for an outlet). Except at his master class where he was continuously engaged and challenged. He has grown out of the worst of it. He's also homeschooled now, so it's easier for him to behave in groups when necessary. It is totally a group dynamic thing for him. Alone or with a small group of kids, he's fine. Just last night, I had to punish him for not behaving appropriately at his Campfire group.

Anyway, it has improved somewhat over time if that's any comfort!

DS is just like this. In fact I think you read in another thread that he had behavior clinic today for some behavior that's so out of character for him. I think that a lot of it is that they are bored.

It could be boredom definitely...it's just strange. Today he apparently had to go to the principals office for coloring on his chair. He says that he changed 5 color cards for this one incident and lost all his recess. When I asked what the principal said to him he said she made him sit for a while and then later he said she said to him "maybe you colored on the chair because you were bored and the work was too easy'." I was quite confused as to why she would give him that idea. I am not sure if he was making that up and trying to indicate to me that was why he was doing it or what. It's hard to tell sometimes. He is a very honest kid but he has made up a couple stories at school this year mostly related to academics. Anyhow, I thought the statement was odd.

I guess this behavior is strange too because I am a school social worker and I spend a lot of time working with children and their behavior and analyzing what causes their behavior and trying to prevent it...and I can't seem to figure it all out with DS. I wish I could observe him like I do with the kids at school. That would make things so much more clear to me.

Jamie - what exactly is behavior clinic?

Will you call the school and find out what's going on?

According to DS it's where you sit in a room and write your first and last name on two pages of paper I guess it's like before school detention. He got written up and then had to go to that for 30 minutes this morning.

Wow Jamie, I am not sure the purpose of that. It sounds quite absurd. How does it even focus on the behavior? And also I don't think it's a very appropriate consequence for a child that age.

About calling the school, I don't know. I think I am going to hold off. I may mention it to his teacher though. We will see. I really am starting to think that DS said the principal said that because that is how he was feeling. But I could be wrong. I will attempt to broach the subject at breakfast and see.

He is an active child...but could sit forever doing something he is interested in. I think he definitely tends to have difficulty sitting during repetitive tasks and things that are moving at a very slow pace. I have watched him act "silly" to amuse himself and to make others smile or get some reaction. It does seem like most of he time he tells me about behaviors during the class it is when he is supposed to be doing a simple worksheet that is about 3 grade levels below his level....or when they are on the rug learning how to read or learning about other things. But sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason. Like when he goofs off walking in the hall. I guess he could be bored walking in the hall...but who isn't?

hahaha, we need more 'smiley' options! I'd post a great big one waving and jumping up & down!
I bet the principal did say that, and I'd bet she is 100% correct. Your son is bored!

We are slowly getting out of that type of behavior. I'll let you know next week, after conferences, to see if we're completely past that at 5th grade.

I think that this is a great way to 'broach' the subject with the Principle. It has the advantage in that you truly don't 'get' what is going on, and can be in the position to be asking for clarification and help. You're 'just' calling to get an confirmation on if he is accurately reporting or fibbing. Kids this age make up all sorts of wild stories - so you won't look strange. Count my DS as one of those ones while 'far out' ideas, that he pursued, especially when underchallenged.

My least favorite was when he taped his mouth shut in 2nd grade. He says that the teacher had threatened to do that to him. I was sure that he was fibbing. Her comment? 'Well, I never really would have!'

Part of it is certainly that when a Highly Gifted child chooses to 'act out' they do it in a Highly Gifted way - so they might be unusually clever in what they try. Sadly for my son, it became part of his internal picture of himself. For boys, it's particularly important that they have a 'title.' There isn't a lot of nuanced thought about being a multifaceted individual with strengths and challenges, even for most gifted boys, at this age. So Shelly, I'm worried that he is behaving badly, but I'm more worried that he might adopt the internal'title' of 'Mr. Unpredictable stir thing up-er'

((hugs))
Grinity

Wow...I wonder why some teachers actually teach.

My son CJ is encountering many of these issues as well. i feel that the teachers just don't like him and won't make any accomedations. My son makes noises and sings to himself. One day it was pretending to be a cat. Teacher really freaked on that one. She says thats why other kids stay away from him.

My 5 year old spends half her days as a cat (literally!). It's sad that a teacher would freak out on an un-engaged child playing make believe.

I can't believe that the teacher said that!!! I'm so mad for you right now!

My DS5.5 (almost 6) skipped K this year also. And when I volunteer in his class each week I see that at "carpet time" he moves around and doesn't keep his eye on the teacher and sometimes plays with the kid next to him. At his desk I see him often tipping his chair onto its back legs. I see him raise his hand and say funny but totally irrelevant things. BUT I also see this in the majority of the kids in his class -- espcially the boys! I am a person who's all about following the rules and not calling attention to myself, so it totally stresses me out out when I hear that he's more, shall we say, spirited. But in a first grade classroom it is SO the norm to be "immature." If you can't be immature when you're 5-7 years old, when can you be?! No, my son isn't academically challenged for a lot of the day and this does contribute to his antics, but even the kids who are challenged act out because they are little kids. And, importantly, in my experience at school, the 7 year old kids are no better behaved than the 6 year olds or even than my DS5.5, no matter what the teachers say. It really can be just a matter of personality, not a deficit of any kind.

I am really lucky that I get to volunteer weekly in my kids' classes, because now that I do I really get to see the HUGE range of behaviors and academic abilities and it has really helped me to relax and not expect perfection from my kids when no kid really is perfectly behaved.

Also, I think a lot of teachers are always trying to find something to suggest as something to work on, like bosses do at job evaluations. They think it's helpful. It drives me nuts. If a child is working at or above grade level and behaving like a normal kid, why can't that be enough? Also, sometimes a teacher will mention a misbehavior and think that they're just sharing something interesting that happened that day, and I take it more seriously than they intended. I really wish if a misbehavior is par for the course that they would just handle it at school and not get me involved.

Anyway, shellymos, I think your DS sounds fun!

I totally agree with this. I pulled out my son to homeschool after 1st grade. He had a bad 1st grade year, but it wasn't necessarily JUST due to academics. Our school wasn't good for active boys. DS is not ADHD. He's just got a higher energy personality - physically and mentally. He asks a lot of questions and likes to talk a lot. There were plenty of boys in my son's 1st grade class having issues at all ends of the spectrum. If you were quiet, well behaved, and were a rule follower you had a good year.

mnmom23 - wow, your DS sounds a lot like mom...I had to laugh when you said he raises his hand and says irrelevant things. My DS recently went through a stage at school where when the teacher called on him he would say "peanut butter and jelly sandwich." He thought it was hilarious! Of course the others thought it was humorous at times too. When I went in to volunteer for a party the other day I would have to guess that he would have to have been in the top 5 of most behaved students. He didn't do anything really out of the norm at all...and the other kids were pretty wild and immature. While I completely acknowledge my DS is immature at times, I also think that because he skipped K and he is the way he is, they tend to watch him more and then see him doing dumb things. Thankfully he has a lot of great things that they see that balance him out. The kids didn't at all seem to shy away from my DS when I observed.

I also know what you mean about teachers commenting on behaviors. Sometimes it is helpful, but sometimes it really isn't. During a conference DS's teacher mentioned that the kids notice that he is smart, but are picking up on his behavior and that another girl said to the teacher the other day "if he is so smart, why does he doe those things." The teacher says that she told the girl "good question, I don't know" I don't always know either, but it annoys me that the implication is that he can't be all that smart if he behaves that way. He is a year younger, and he is being silly and is not completely challenged, that is a big part of it.

Anyhow, this week has been much better with behaviors, the more they seem to challenge him the better the weeks seem to be. I am hoping it continues in that pattern. Although, all the challenging in the world is not going to take away the fact that he is 5 and will still act silly sometimes.

I've mentioned this before, but one time my nephew said that it seemed like my DS "had a party in his brain." It's so true. If I were the teacher I probably would have said that your DS IS smart, and that that is kind of like having a party in his brain, and that sometimes it's hard to keep that party actually in his brain so he does crazy things! Also, I'd like to point out that women throughout history have questioned why men do stupid things (although, obviously, the teacher shouldn't have said that)!

Just this week, my DS5.5 apparently wasn't content to make the traditional Thanksgiving turkey art project and instead made his into a man-eating chicken. The other kids thought that this was hysterical and he and they now raise their hands every once in a while to suggest that the answer to a question -- any question -- is "Man-Eating Chicken!" Luckily, he has a great teacher who sees the humor in this for now and sees it as a sign of his creativity (and re-directs them to a more appopriate response)!

Throttling was an option that I did not pursue due to felony implications. If my son would just play the game as I now realize I did he would survive. but not thrive. All I want is a happy, satisfied kid who feels positive about himself and his life.
It doesn't help that I am an "older" single mom with no father figure. AI what a miracle