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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 21 |
My brother had problems. My child had problems with wetting up until the age given. Both people are profoundly gifted. Both can intensely focus. Maybe the toilet issue is a familial problem.
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 55
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 55 |
Gifted Mom, unfortunately, I don't have any good advice. My DS7 has done better since I started this thread. He hasn't had anymore accidents. But I'm not sure what, if anything, we did to help. We did talk with him about good times for him to use the bathroom during the day at school. There are still times when we are walking home (we live three blocks from school) that he has to go to wee in a bush because he can't make it home. So I'm not sure how many times during the day he uses the bathroom at school.
And at home, he still does the potty dance all of the time and waits until the very last minute. It drives us crazy! But we've decided to just make it a non-issue at this point and to stop reminding him. And if he does have an accident (usually just in his underpants) then he is responsible for cleaning everything up.
I too would love to hear from anyone else who has ideas on how to deal with this!
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 215
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 215 |
Gifted Mom - maybe you could reward him for using the bathroom at school. If he uses it, he gets a star (or a sticker or a point). If he uses it twice in one day, he gets 2 or 3. After x number of stars, he gets to stay up 15 minutes late, pick what you're having for dinner, etc. You can lengthen the time easier if you change the reward (for 10 points you get to pick dessert then for for 15 points you can stay up later). Eventually, using the bathroom at school should become a habit and your problem (at school at least) should be solved.
Last edited by keet; 12/28/09 08:21 PM. Reason: added the last 2 sentences.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 393
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 393 |
While I tend to guess this is a kid issue, I can see how intense kids who can get very focused could be more predisposed to this.
I do want to suggest for those of you who have issues with nighttime dryness the alarm system. My DS potty trained pretty much in one day at about 2.5 (and with no real "training") and has had maybe 3 daytime accidents ever, however he was not dry at night consistently until we used an alarm. He urinated so much that he would pee out of overnight pull-ups by midnight, I was changing his sheets 3-5 times per week. What we discovered using the alarm was that he slept very very heavily. However one month with the alarm at age 6 and he was finally dry at night (we had dramatic results within about 2 weeks, and kept using it another 2 weeks to reinforce). He got sick this year (right about age 7) and had a night time accident but we just used the alarm again for a week and voila, all better and no problems since (he turns 8 next week). It was an issue for him because he was starting to be invited to overnights.
I would not suggest the alarm for kids under age 6, because it requires pretty good dexterity to turn off, and is very loud and can be scary sounding. But, our Pediatrician kept saying he would grow out of it, but my research suggested that if a kid wasn't normally dry at night by age 6, then there was a good likelihood he would not be dry by age 12, and I didn't feel like that was a very good outcome.
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 247
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 247 |
He also admits quite readily that he dislikes going to the bathroom, but won't explain why. Does he just dislike using the bathroom at school? If so, could it be the noise of the flush? Personally, I can't stand the sound of flushing toilets in public places - I think it's the 'industrial size' sound in the small confined stall with nothing to absorb some of the hollow, echo-y sound. I have to cover my ears when flushing public toilets and I've noticed that DS does it too. One other thing that comes to mind, is that when DS was in a part-day pre-school, the toilet backed up once and overflowed. It scared him silly and he refused to use that bathroom for quite awhile - he was afraid it would happen again. Just a thought...
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 186
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 186 |
Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Unfortunately, DS doesn't like using the bathroom anywhere. I do believe he dislikes public bathrooms the most, but will avoid going to the bathroom at home too. The other day he blatantly lied about having gone already to avoid having to go when he got up in the morning. When I caught him in his lie, his only explanation was "I don't like to go to the bathroom".
Since he has no problem lying about using the bathroom, I don't think a reward system will work as we'd have no real way to monitor this at school. My mother actually tried to bribe him with money, first paying him for each time he used the bathroom and then changing it to pay him for each day he was accident free. She started this while we were on vacation together and didn't ask me about it beforehand. I let her do it knowing vacation would soon be over, but then she tried to rope me into continuing it at home. I can tell you that neither scheme worked. One of the weeks she paid him for accident-free days, he had accidents 5 out of 7 days, a record for him to this day.
He did have an issue with loud sounds when he was younger and probably as a result will rarely flush the toilet. We've tried to get him to change this habit, but have had little success, so have chosen not to make it a big deal at the moment. At home, or if we're out together, DH or I usually go in after him and flush. While we'd love for him to flush at a public restroom, we'd settle for him not having an accident and forgetting to flush...
We go back to the OT today for his first therapy session and will hopefully get some ideas for his sensory diet. It's hard to know whether he is lying about not knowing he has to go and not realizing he had an accident, or whether he really is that oblivious. Wow, he sounds so much like my DS! Rewards don't work, he doesn't seem to even recognize when he has to go, and frequently doesn't seem to care/notice if he is wet. We have mostly accident free days but only because we enforce that he has to use the toilet before doing something or he gets timeout in his room. Even then he will just goof off in the bathroom - for a good while most of his accidents actually happened IN the bathroom while he was goofing off and not using the toilet.
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