Hi Kate,
Welcome! So glad you found us.
I hope that your insurance comes around, but to be honest, schools don't seem overly impressed with IQ or achievement tests, even when they give them themselves! (Our school doesn't offer gifted testing, but when they look for learning disabilities they end up doing the IQ and achievement test, just the same.)
Definitly stress the 'social emotional' angle, as schools nowadays seem much more intersested in this sort of growth than in academic advancement. It is as though if the child is at gradelevel then they have no more responsibility. OTOH, if you son is saying that he hates school, having trouble sleeping and having anxiety attacks, they will often be very sympathetic. Don't try to 'be strong' - show as much emotional (in a non-blaming way) as you can muster. Obviously this is very upsetting.
How do you feel about asking for a gradeskip right off the bat. I doubt that that will be your ultimate answer to everything, but it's a great place to start if homeschooling or an alternative school that 'gets' gifted isn't availible.
best wishes,
grinity
(