Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Venting...

Hello friends,
This week I had a really frustrating interaction with part of our G/T department. After asking some questions in an email, and specifically asking that I be given the opportunity to follow up with the teacher if individual follow up was warranted, I instead received an email back telling me about her conversation with the teacher. So now a teacher I had a positive relationship with is probably feeling hurt and upset with me. Just what we all dream will be the basis of our parent-teacher relationships, right?
Then to add insult to injury, my key questions were based on inaccurate information (on my part ) and my G/T contact was almost scornful in response. If it had been me, I would have responded by saying something like, �it appears you were given some misinformation. Here is where things stand at the moment��. Instead I got the �your child is certainly not�, line. This is my younger child, and it is not yet clear whether we are looking at GT or not, so of course the �certainly not� line left me feeling about two inches tall and foolish for even asking the question. Of course, I�ve constantly received dismissive responses regarding DD too, and she keeps exceeding my best expectations on assessments (and hitting all of the supposed markers our district cites for GT data). So who knows.

In the end, if it turns out that my younger child is not GT, that�s not a worry for me. He is a bright, resourceful child and will do well in life whether he is gifted or �merely� bright. I just hate this feeling of being �slapped down� for asking questions. It�s so demoralizing and exhausting and leaves me just wanting to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head, kwim? Thanks for listening to my mope (Today is my day for feeling sorry for myself apparently--I'm sure I'll be back to feisty again by tomorrow... )

How frustrating! Maybe just talking to the teacher about what happened will help?

Certainly not?? That's strong language when there hasn't been testing or anything!

Thanks Jamie,
The "certainly not" was actually a response to performance on a school test. I get that the test score said what it said (this wasn't a test to determine giftedness, it was a grade level test that I thought he had done better on than he did), but I just find those words to be so...I don't know...condescending?

I did immediately email the teacher to try and repair the situation, but I'm not likely to hear anything over the weekend, so I'm sitting here stewing and worrying.

As a teacher, it came to a shock to me to experience school as a parent. While I had always had a lot of positive feedback from parents of students, I had assumed that the way I work with students and families was pretty typical. It's distressing to discover that it is less typical than I thought

Thanks for the sympathetic ear--just being able to talk about it beyond DH helps me regain a sense of proportion.

Maybe. I've been trying to give the benefit of the doubt, but I haven't been able to shake my original impression.

In the scheme of things, this is a relatively minor problem. It's just that it's one more minor problem in a string of less than positive experiences. I go back and forth between thinking I'm struggling with GT denial, and thinking I'm struggling with delusional thinking! My kingdom for a crystal ball!