Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional What is going on?!!! Need help, please!!

Oh, I just looked up some info on sleep apnea. It says you don't necessarily have to snore to have it. I think I'll take ds to the doctor to talk about his complaints of being tired and ask if sleep apnea is a possibility. I'll also ask about the allergies. Thanks again.

Constant congestion is a pretty good sign there is something allergy related going on.

When Bear was about 6 months I knew he had allergies. The stand in pediatrician (ours was on maternity leave) said no, babies that age can't have allergies. So I gave him allergy medication in the correct dose for his size and voila! no more symptoms. Our Pediatrician came back and agreed with me...

Also people can grow into and out of allergies, so periodic testing if there is concern isn't a bad idea.

About the school part, I've learned a hard lesson about letting it go. Wolf used to love worksheets, would do them for hours. Now that they are a part of "school" he complains that he has too many. Basically what I have done is stop giving him any work I'm pretty sure he knows (not perfectly, just pretty sure) except every once in a while for review. I also let him know that it is review to make sure his brain remembers.

If he knew the math in the car, why do it again to make sure? He's already shown understanding. If he likes doing it in his head, why make it more concrete than that? Most of our multiplication work is all mental. Wolf is just not into touchy-feely math. If your guy gets upset when he doesn't get it immediately, say "fine can you think of another way to figure it out?" It stops being about not knowing and becomes about problem solving. Example: 17-9=what Ok, well what+9=17 gives you the same answer right? You know how to do it that way.

Also I know a lot of people are mentioning time and I don't know if you have mentioned how long you "do" school in a day. Wolf is in 1st in Independent Study and I specifically asked how many hours a day should we be aiming for. She said 4 and that even not doing any "real" schoolwork (sitting down with worksheets, etc...) we would probably surpass that with no issues at all each and every day. Reading books, talking about animals or the weather, running around on the playground, going with mom to vote, etc... All of that counts, so your stealth teaching idea should work great! So much time in a conventional school is taken up with organization and waiting. It's really mind boggling to realize how much.

This is a great learning experience for you - next time your DS is being stubborn, and having a hard time doing it any way except HIS way, think back on this transition. Flexibility is an 'Executive Function' and can be 'natural' or 'learned through practice.' But it's so great that you get firsthand experience with exactly how sticky a brain can be. My parents were terrific at giving me lots of chances to 'practice,' and of course I resented it, and bent over backwards not to 'train' my DS in this area. LOL on me! Luckily I read a book about it last year, and have started playing catch up with DS13, and it does really work! (The Brain that Changes Itself)


WOW and WOOT! W-A-T-E-R! I'm blown away. This is exactly the approach to take for the next 6 months. You have a great backround for this homeschooling thing. Nothing bad will happen if you 'just' have fun together and be a 'nice person visiting.' You can even do 'character development' with other areas, such as household organizing and maintenance, or sports. Think of this as an observational period where you are 'learning' him as a 'learning' and exploring the local resources.

Are there any Karate Classes that offer daytime classes near you? Or Gymnastics? Or a swim team that meets in the early morning. You son - to me- sounds like the kind of kid who needs something scheduled and physical almost daily. I wonder if that would eventually help with the sleep.

Smiles, Grinity

Great Story. I don't reccomend people 'doing medicine' on their own children,(unless it's an Over-the-counter Medicine with directions for the proper age group ) but I do reccomend 'doctor shopping' until you find someone who argees with you. It's a fine line - I know, but what if you really did need a doctor someday, wouldn't you want to find one who is 'good' in advance.

Let's level - although there are (many,some,at least a few) pediatricians who are as Intelligent as one could wish, as a group, the specialty of pediatrics doesn't attract the brightest of medical students. I've been blessed to find some of the exceptions, but don't be all resentful if it feels like you know more, and reason better, than your Pediatrician. Given the LOG of the kids around here, you just plain probably do.

I know, so many of us grew up with the idea that 'smart people become doctors.' A better picture would be that hardworking, compliant, bright to MG,dedicated people become clinical doctors. An HG or PG kid who wanted to go into clinical medicine would probably have to also teach, or do research, or happen to be off the wall 'Emotionally Gifted' to be really satisfied. Or come from an economic or social background where this kind of career was beyond their wildest dreams.

So yes, get the sleep apnea and allergy angles checked out, and keep asking for those referrals even if the pedi seems to be subtly discouraging. Eventually you will find the 'right' pediatrician for your family.

Smiles,
Grinity

Jen,
My son has Aspeger's and I can tell you that any major change in schedule creates a lot of tantruming and crying and random meltdowns that seem to come from nowhere. You just started Homeschooling, that is a huge schedule and life change. It is possible that your son's meltdowns have to do with dealing with this new schedule. Like everyone else says, I would hold on and try to take it easy. Let him relax a bit and don't be so hard on yourself when he tantrums.

Just wanted to say we're doing much better today. We're not doing any of our typical lessons, but we're doing fine. We leave tomorrow to go out of town for a wedding, so it'll be a nice break. We can start fresh next week with a new approach. Thanks to everyone for your support yesterday. It was a really tough day, and it helped so much.

I have the book called, Home Learning Year by Year, by Rebecca Rup. I went through the kindergarten and first grade curriculum (benchmarks) lists, and it helped to see how much ds already knows. I am going to focus on those items that he has yet to master and avoid the lesson by lesson approach I was taking with the curricula that I bought for homeschooling (Rightstart math, All About Spelling, First Language Lessons for the Well Trained MInd, Story of the World). I love all of those, but maybe I'm sticking too closely to the "plan".

Grinity-you asked about classes offered during the day. Ds goes to a mixed martial arts class three days a week, but he's just started that. It doesn't meet until 4pm though. It's hard to find any activities that go on during the daytime hours unless they are for toddlers. Ds also starts art and science classes at a small community private school next week. They meet once a week on Fridays. He'll be there for two hours for those classes plus one extra hour for recess with the kids. If it goes well, I could add another day or more at that school in the afternoons. It's going to come together eventually. I'm just not a very patient person. I want to make it work NOW! ; )

Hope you are all having a fabulous day!
Jen

Go Jen!
Enjoy the wedding and the vacation!
Sounds like your 3 part plan is perfect: 3 days a week of MMA, plus Friday classes plus 1st grade benchmarks - Yippee!

Being Patient is something we learn when we have too - and not a millisecond before ((giggle))
Grins

A truer statement there has never been!

Jen SMP- EVERY October, our son becomes grumpy, has tons of energy (WILD!!!), looks (but doesn't act) exhausted, can't keep control of his emotions and, overall, is 180 degrees different from his normal happy personality.

It took a few years and a few doctors before we discovered that he has really bad seasonal allergies (peaking in October here) which prevent him from getting into REM sleep at night. The sleep deprivation manifests itself with major behavior issues (not sleepiness). It always comes on suddenly and always precedes the more obvious allergy symptoms like a stuffy nose, cough, etc.

Our son started behaving like a monster last week and I couldn't figure out why he was so miserable. All my hubby had to say was "It's October!" and it instantly made sense. We've increased his meds, limited his time outside (with the irritants), and tried to be really patient. Fingers crossed, it'll pass soon . . .

I would definitely follow-up on the allergy and apnea testing, in addition to, the other great suggestions you have received here.

It took my 20 some odd years to find a doctor I trusted! She is also one of my closest friends. She is actually the one who helped me out on the dosage for the OTC allergy meds when the pediatrician was being a moron. It wasn't TOTALLY without doctors approval, just not the pediatrician's. I also have a very strong background in alternative medicine and do a lot of unofficial advising fro friends and family. The particular medicine I used is deemed safe for newborns and pregnant women so it would have been hard to screw it up.

Generally unless you are SURE of what is going on and KNOW that what you are going to try is safe with almost no chance of side effects don't medicate without a doctor's ok. Most doctors will give OTC ok's and even dosages for young children over the phone. Tylonal (aceitominiphen sp? lazy...), for instance, is fatal in large doses even for adults so be careful when mixing OTC's when you or your kids are sick. Lots of the mixed ones contain Tylonal. Public service announcement is now over.