Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments HSers - how did you determine that HS was...

a good fit for your dc? Just as some kids do wonderfully in traditional type settings, I'm sure some kids thrive in a HS setting. So, in looking at your own dc/situations, how did you determine that your dc would do better in HSing environment vs. traditional?

We're exploring all options, but are trying to figure out how to know if it's the best option for DS. Obviously, DS thinks HSing is the way to go because he he wouldn't have to wait to go to the bathroom and he could eat when he's hungry...these are his big problems with school . I'm sure he doesn't have a realistic expectation of HSing - he hears the "home" part, but not "school", LOL.

Any thoughts?

Here's some advice from someone who has only homeschooled in fantasy.
Remember that for many many years, homeschool was the norm, and no one tried to figure out in advance who would thrive with the system.

Seems like the first 'lesson' for homeschool would be to set up a 'charter' for your family school. Be the scribe and the interviewer and find out exactly what your son would think is fair for a homeschool.

Would he like to do each subject each day, or have a Math Day, English Day, etc.
How many days would he like to spend 'at home' and how many days would school be 'on the go?'
Do you know other homeschoolers that he would like to learn with?
How would your son know if he was meeting or exceeding reasonable expectations?
What about TV or computer during the day?
How many playdates during afterschool hours per week would be ideal?
How much of a free period for reading or educational TV would be allowed during the day?
What about physical activity?
What about household chores? (Seems to me that if you are adding school to your responsibilities, that a DC should be willing to take some of the daily househould responsibilities off your plate. Plus cooking, meal planning, tidying up can all be great learning experiences.)
I would ask your son about the parts of school that aren't fun, and how he would propose to handle 'doing the essential, but unfun parts' of school at home.

My hunch is that DS will have lots and lots of ideas about how 'he would run the school.' My guess is that even if you would modify half of his rules, that you'd love the other half.

Enjoy,
Grinity

I NEVER thought I'd be homeschooling. It was the LAST thing on my mind when I started researching options for my ds6. He was struggling in a tradtional classroom because he was bored to death. He was spending all day in another world while the other students learned material he already knew. Also, he's a very hands-on interactive learner. It was torture for him to sit in a desk or at a table all day and not speak until spoken to. Not that they never interacted with each other in the private school he was in, but it was quite rigid.

My ds learns by talking through processes and by physically manipulating his world. Worksheets send him over the edge. My first instinct was to think, "well, he needs to learn to follow the rules and do what everyone else does." Then I realized he wasn't learning ANYTHING and that he had begun to hate school. This bothered me that a kindergartener cried every day before and after school.

The school was unable to advance him to first grade or to give a differentiated curriclum. We pulled him and started homeschooling, and it's been wonderful. He's learning; it's efficient (he doesn't have to spend wasted time in line waiting for lunch or snack or bathroom or waiting for others to catch up), and I have a good handle on where he is academically. I'm glad now that they couldn't advance him to first grade b/c now that I'm homeschooling, I know that ds is beyond first grade too. So, he would have had the same issues in the 1st grade private school class as in the kg.

I am still researching and touring other schools that might be a better fit, but so far I've found nothing that feels as right as homeschooling. I do like the montessori philosophy, and we are really looking into this option. We also like the small private schools with lots of enrichment opportunities. Currently, while I hs, I am supplementing with mixed martial arts and science and art classes at a small private community school. He will play soccer in the spring too. He loves it, and he's so excited to be learning.

I'm floored at what a difference I see when I present completely fresh, new material than when I am reviewing. Because he needs little to no review, he almost shuts down when he sees the same info he has seen before. At school, he had to just sit there and wait it out, and this was all day every day. Complete torture! I'm reluctant to do anything different right now because it's working so well. HS was meant to be a temporary solution, but now I worry that even a new school will present the same issues we faced before. Like many gifted children, ds progresses very quickly, and he'd need a school where he could move ahead at his own pace. That's hard to find in a group situation.

With hs I am able to guage when he needs review and when he doesn't and know when I've lost him and when he's engaged. My biggest concern was ds not being with other kids all day, but he hasn't missed it. We just make sure he gets the time with children in other ways. He's an only child, btw. Hope this helps. Wow! Just realized how long this is!

Couldn't agree more. I had just reached a point where I knew PS wasn't working and wouldn't work for my DD. My DD9 begged to be homeschooled so we agree to try at the start of that summer, figuring if it didn't work, we had at least tried. She now attends for ELA (for the last year I think) and for art, and music.

A little of both worlds, although it took us six months to work that out with the school. What worked for one has also worked for the others, and I consider myself priviledged to spare them the misery my oldest went through in those first years of PS.

Almost forgot, I don't think I would have dreamed of homeschooling if I hadn't read so much about some of the very knowledgable people here who have taken this route or suggested it. A BIG thank you to all of them!

Very true and excellent point. We've become a society of 'over-thinkers'.

I suspect this is what I would see with my ds, as well. The one thing I hear from him repeatedly, is how he hates sitting/listening while the teacher is instructing something he already knows how to do. He just wants to hear it once, give the practical application a try, and move on if he's got it.

You know, the social aspect of school is the funny part. DH and I have been talking about how there is no more socialization in school really these days. At previous schools, it was single-file and quiet in the halls, silent lunches or eat first, then chat. (I should say that I understand the need for some of the changes that have taken place - the expectations of teachers/educators are ever-changing and I don't profess to know what it's like to walk a mile in those shoes.) There are days now when my ds comes home and says he didn't get to finish his lunch because he was too busy talking . He's a social creature and the two recesses are spent playing and expending the physical energy surplus instead of chatting. So, I don't see school as the social place it used to be when I was that age. His social time is after school/homework anyway, and he does have an extra-curricular activity, so I'm not as concerned about him missing that at school.

I think, more than anything, I worry that we'll make the wrong decision and it will have an impact on ds. We're researching all the options.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[/quote] Almost forgot, I don't think I would have dreamed of homeschooling if I hadn't read so much about some of the very knowledgable people here who have taken this route or suggested it. A BIG thank you to all of them![/quote]

I couldn't agree more! I second that Thank You to everyone here who helped us make the decision to hs!

I worried myself to death too over making the wrong decision. I didn't sleep, couln't eat. It seemed like a very radical decision, and my family didn't agree with our decision (other than my father-he was all for it!). I can't tell you how relieved I am now that we've done it. My son is happy again, and that means so much to me. A 6 year old shouldn't feel daily stress, and he no longer feels that. Family is coming around now that they see ds thriving and learning. Now if I could just get them to stop quizzing him all the time! : )

I agree that school is not the social institution it used to be. My ds was in kg and couldn't speak unless he raised his hand and the teacher gave him permission. My ds thinks out loud, so you can imagine how that went over in his Catholic school! LOL He'd get excited about something he did and run over to tell the teacher, and instead of hearing that he did a good job, he'd hear, "Did I give you permission to be out of your seat?" Of course, that's another story. My ds can't even stay in his seat to eat dinner! I, too, understand why they have those rules in place, but it just didn't suit my son's learning style, and if he's in school, he should be learning!

Good luck with your decision. Remember, your his mom. You know best. Trust your gut, either way it leads you.

That's how I feel about it too. It was a really difficult decision to make. Homeschooling felt really radical. We are secular homeschoolers and I wasn't sure we'd have a community. My family and even my husband were hesitant initially. We took the leap because DS was absolutely miserable and not learning a thing. After looking at many educational options, none of them seemed much better than our previous school. We thought we'd give it a year. We're into our 2nd year now. My DS - would be 3rd grader is absolutely thriving, could get his school work done in an hour or two a day if he chooses to, and is learning a lot. I am now homeschooling his 5 year old sister as well (who attended play based preschool as well). She has not been tested and I am not feeling a pressing need to do so (that $$$ can finance a lot of homeschool activities!). She is surprising me every day right now.

I really like the list of questions Grinity posted. One thing I like to tell people is that homeschooling for most families is really a lifestyle choice. It's not a choice that can work for every family, but it can be wonderful on many levels if it works for the grownups and the children involved.

Just a thought, but this sort makes it an either/or scenario, which is an odd way of looking at it. I'd think of it more like a Venn diagram - some are red, some are blue, some are purple! I went to a traditional public school, but would have thrived in either environment (provided my mother wasn't my homeschool teacher - but that's not the point!)

We've never considered *not* homeschooling, but I've also considered the "what ifs" should something happen that would force Dd into the public school (we're talking both Dh and I would have to be deceased...but I guess it's a possibility).

In the end, I pretty much decided that bright children will figure it out and make it work - especially as they get older.

I was bored to tears in the PS I attended. But, by middle school, teachers had "caught on" and I was allowed to surreptitiously do my own thing, as long as it didn't interfere with the regular class work. So, while everyone else was doing spelling words, I was reading a book slipped under my desk.

In high school, I did my calculus homework in physics, physics homework in English, etc. I only paid attention in French class (a real challenge) and, on occassion, in English class - where I was often the only one participating in the discussion on The Scarlet Letter.

Adaptation and accomodation seem to be common tools of gifties - on either end of the school "debate."

Dd does get to "choose" some subjects, but some things are non-negotiable. She has chores, which are to be done before we start any classwork. And "sometimes" the kitchen really *is* closed - especially if we're on the third snack since lunch! It's how she learned to make her own pb&j.

As someone rightly said - homeschooling *is* a lifestyle as much as an educational choice. And, I would encourage you that if you do try it, give it a fair time period. It took me two years to really feel like we had a handle on things - and I had been planning to homeschool all along! Some folks give up after a couple of months, and consider it a "poor fit," but it really does take adjustment on ALL sides.

I've blogged some about homeschooling an only. Maybe our experiences might help a bit - I wrote the blog for my SIL who is considering homeschooling her dc, so it's more than a record of what we've done. You can find it here:
The Homeschool at Mingo's Corner

HTH!

Two things: now that we're homeschooling, I feel like DS8 has more time and energy to be social. He was so tired and cranky after his bad school fit that he was losing friends and didn't really want to be with them anyway. He certainly was unpleasant to be with! This is really why we chose to homeschool: DS8 experienced a radical personality shift, and something major had to change. His teacher was clearly unreceptive, and it clearly wasn't going to be worth banging my head against that wall.

The fact is that happy kids do better socially. If you can find a good school fit, great. If not, homeschooling can actually make a kid *more* social. It does tend to be a bit more work for the parent to get to social opportunities. But it's manageable even for me, an introvert who desperately needs alone time. You adjust and prioritize.

Secondly, the good thing about homeschooling is that if something is wrong, you can turn on a dime and do whatever you think will fix it. With only your kid(s) and no required loyalty to anything or anyone else, you can do whatever works, changing every day if you have to! the flexibility is really what makes it work well for so many GT kids. It's a very responsive system. The only thing you have to overcome is your own resistance to change and the knowledge that you spent $X on books you'll never use.

Worst case, if homeschooling is a dismal flop, you can always send the child back to public school. They have to take him, even mid-year. So nothing is ever set in stone. You can't "fail" at homeschooling...you just change your mind! So if it doesn't work for your family, if it has repercussions that you don't like, it's an utterly reversible decision.

If you are already answering your child's questions and helping with his homework and reading together, you're pretty much doing everything you'd need to do for homeschooling. You just get to be more creative with it. There are bad days--sometimes bad weeks!--but you figure it out. It's not as far-removed from what you're doing as you think it is. I promise!

Oh, and I agree about it not being an either/or situation for many kids. We're debating about whether to keep DS5 in public school next year or homeschool him. He's happy in half-day K, but so was his big brother. We wonder if 1st grade will be a rough year for DS5, as it was for DS8.

He's the sort of kid who tends to fit wherever he goes, so it's hard to decide what's better for him. We're watching and thinking...

I really do appreciate everyone's thoughts/opinions/experiences, keep them coming.

We are researching a lot of different possibilities, but are finding that we're becoming much more comfortable with the idea of HSing, if even looking forward to it a little bit (although no decision has been made yet).

We are looking at it as a lifestyle change, which is probably why we're giving it so much thought. We have the ability to do it and actually, other than the obvious adjustment/transition for DS, it would probably work very well for our lifestyle. It just seems like such a big change, even though it's totally doable.

Lots of thought is good.

Any particular worries, fears, problems you might want to discuss? In my experience, the things people worry about re: homeschooling are often no problem at all, but things they never even considered as a problem wind up being really hard! Talking specifics might help you, maybe?

Feel free to ignore if you don't think so though...

And BTW, I'm big on honesty. It is surprisingly hard to find people not trying to sell you on why homeschooling is good or why homeschooling is rotten. Around here there seem to be more people who will tell you the truth, good and bad, rather than reading from a script of following an agenda. I think most people here--homeschoolers or not--just want happy, challenged, productive kids, regardless of how you get there.

Gosh, where to begin . I think one of the biggest questions I have right now is how to figure out how DS learns, if that makes any sense. I have my thoughts on it, but since he's just sort of coasted along in school, I'm not sure that I have a clear understanding of what works for him and what doesn't. For example - I do know that he doesn't need a lot of repetition, he's quick. He's easily frustrated if he doesn't get something the first time around, but we knew that was going to be a problem and are working on it. He doesn't seem to mind worksheet type work, but hates 'research' type things. I think that he's a do it, get it done, and move on type - he doesn't care to do long, drawn out projects.

But see, even with this info, I don't know if it's helpful in determining what's a good fit for DS. LOL, what I really need is someone who has taught DS when he was actually learning something to say "hey, this is what I observed". I know it must seem like I don't know my kid or something - I'm just not sure I fully understand how his mind works. UGH, I feel like I'm not making any sense.

Have to cut this short for now, but I'll be back. Thanks.

I just read your last post, and I wanted to chime in with my experience. I felt the exact same way you did. You do know your child; you're just used to being mom, not teacher. I have to tell you though, that once you start homeschooling, you learn so much about your child. It didn't take long for me to determine what workds for my ds6. It's an ongoing process, but trust me, it's the same in the school environment. The teacher is always assessing what workds best for the students, only she/he is usually trying to determine what works best for the MAJORITY of students (not just one, and I know my ds didn't fit with the majority).

We started out our first week or two using materials we had at home and from the library (lots of reading and real world math w/manipulatives, field trips to the science center, games). I also had a book that I got from the bookstore with lots of worksheets. I learned really quickly that the worksheets were a NO-GO! He absolutely freaks out when he sees a worksheet. That's all they did at the pricey private school we were paying for, evidently.

I've posted before on this site about how I always felt like I knew my child very well. After homeschooling, I feel like I REALLY KNOW him. It's amazing how much I've learned, especially about his abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. We've only been homeschooling for a month, and while we're still learning as we go, I feel like ds and I are doing really well. He's learning so much, and like I said before, my sweet boy is back!

I don't want to sound like I'm selling you on homeschooling because I'm sure it's not for everyone, but from one mom who had all the same concerns you do, it's the best decision I could have made. We still think of it as a temporary situation, but I'm not likely to change it unless I find something that works equally as well or better. We're always looking, but the longer I hs, the less motivated I am to find another alternative. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," right?

Good luck with your decision, and if you think of other questions, post away.

At the risk of sounding too idealistic, you do have access to someone who can tell you that kind of thing - your DS. It's his education, after all, and if you can get him to be a reflective learner that's an enormous gift in its own right. I suggest telling him you need him to observe his learning, starting with what he can observe retrospectively about what has helped him learn in the past. I expect he'll have trouble separating out what he enjoyed from what helped him learn (they do overlap, but are not the same thing) but maybe if you direct him to think about times he's started off thinking something would be boring or hard and in fact it's turned out interesting...?

Hi, JDAx3,

I'm not sure if our experience is entirely relevant to what you are wondering, but thought I'd throw in my two cents' worth. (And hey, with the loonie approaching parity, two cents is almost worth two cents again!)

We've homeschooled from the beginning, so I don't have an experiential basis for comparison with the suitability of "fit" for my kids. There are several factors that came into play when we were deciding to homeschool (none of this is intended to be a sales pitch, by the way!): one of the two or three primary ones is the fact that Frenchie works shifts, and the flexibility of the homeschooling schedule preserves our family life--this was a major, major deal for me--when I was working, too (pre-kids), I rarely had a day off on the same day he did, and it took its temporary toll on our marriage. I didn't think I needed to learn the same lesson twice! (You can teach an old dog a few new tricks!) This is also my handy-dandy reason I trot out to nosy strangers (the ones who won't go away without an answer, anyway), and it is very useful in that situation.

Another reason, of course, was worry about academics; Harpo (8, my oldest) was reading us bits and pieces from newspapers when he was two, among other things, and I couldn't see how school was going to be fun or interesting for him. If I were going to be perfectly honest with myself here, I'm afraid my own misery in elementary school influenced how I felt in this regard--even having been skipped twice (my parents turned down a third skip), I was bored and sad--there is no acceleration, period, in our district, nor any gifted programming until grade eleven, so this was going to be a problem, we thought. We can't afford private school (a friend calls homeschooling "private school for poor people"!).

Another reason was the sort of "safety" issues to which you referred on your other thread.

As time went along, other advantages seemed to me to involve some of those "fit" questions, at least inferentially. Groucho (6, my middle guy), for instance, is a jumping bean; he really needs to be in motion, and to have physical outlets for his energy. He is really not well-suited to sitting quietly at a desk for several hours at a go. Harpo is a quirky enough child that I think there may have been some bully problems at school--maybe not, but he has been able to find a few kindred quirky spirits in the homeschool community. (I loved something Erica said once, in response to a question about "what kind of friends do your kids have," and she answered, "friends with capes!")

It's not all roses, of course; unlike a lot of homeschoolers, I do in fact find the social aspect rather difficult, though it is gradually getting better (patience really is a virtue!); there are two homeschool groups in our community, one of which requires signing a lengthy statement of faith, which I cannot in good conscience sign, so that group of people is essentially lost to us. The other seemed at first to be entirely populated by radical unschoolers who wanted nothing to do with people who (gasp!) use any books; that set is certainly the largest and most vocal part of that group, but we are starting to find some other under-the-radar book-users, too, and finally feeling (in year four) as though we are acquiring a community.

The other difficult thing is juggling three different kids!

I do think, in regard to learning styles, that you figure it out over time (my three are quite different from one another in this regard); I think a willingness to dive in and try out various things, knowing full well that some stuff just isn't going to work, will probably serve you well in the long run.

As usual, this is far too long. I need an editor!

peace
minnie

Don't underestimate the value of finding friendships within the bricks-and-mortar schooled families, too. Some of that depends upon the culture of your area, of course. In some places, sadly, homeschoolers are utterly shunned. But I wouldn't assume that's true for you until you see it for yourself. I was really worried about being rejected socially, but the vast majority of our non-homeschooling community has embraced our kids warmly. In fact, DS8 went to a birthday party held by one of his soccer friends from the public school this past weekend, and he'd have been an easy kid to not invite! But he loves hanging out with those kids, and they like him a lot. My making a point never to bash the local school system probably helps with that. I won't do it. It's not nice!

He also runs around with the neighbor boys, and parents and kids alike enjoy having him around because he's such a nice, polite, funny kid. So some of that's personality. And it also helps DS8 that he is interested in many of the same things that other kids his age are into (Legos, Pokemon, superheroes, etc.). Kids with unusual interests tend to have a much harder time socially. But they'd have a harder time socially in school, too, so I don't think that's necessarily a reason not to homeschool. I would definitely have to say that as he gets older and can run around without me more, the social stuff gets easier.

Oh, and opening up our yard to all kids has been a big help. We have THE yard for outdoor play!

As for learning styles: JDAx3, you are way ahead of the game because you're thinking about this. You will learn a lot by doing. If you homeschool, just expect the first year to be a learning experience for you even more than for your child. Be flexible. Always ask yourself "Is this working? Could it work better? How?" Adapt and adjust. Always adapt and adjust!

To that end, I always recommend choosing the most flexible curriculum possible at the beginning of teh homeschooling journey, because chances are good that within a few months, you won't be using that curriculum anymore. At least choose cheaper materials so that you won't feel so worried about dumping them.

Before "school" starts and at various points throughout the year, I always ask my son what he wants to learn about, and I tailor the year to those interests. It helps to keep him interested and invested in what we're doing. It also lets me make him responsible for his own education. It's not up to me to "entertain" him. That's something that really works well for us.

HTH!

This is great and something that I look forward to. I can read DS better than anyone with regard to most things, and I used to see how much he was interested in learning, but I guess I haven't seen that in awhile (now that I'm really thinking about it). Truth be told, he's never really liked school, but I always just chalked it up to the normal 'I hate school, I'd rather play all day' stuff. I think as I'm reflecting on this, I'm realizing that there are signs we should have noticed, but we just didn't have any idea that it was that bad - by "that bad", I mean the lack of real challenge, that even his teachers may not have noticed because DS isn't/wasn't a squeaky wheel at school. I do know things about how he learns, but I just have a gut feeling that there's so much more to him that hasn't really been tapped into yet, and maybe that's what's causing me to feel like I don't know. Bleh, I feel like I'm rambling, LOL.

Excellent idea, now just how to do it. I think that DS hasn't really liked school for so long that even he doesn't remember what it's like to enjoy it. Anything related to school is a big turn-off to him right now. I think that he feels that he spends all this time at school, and doing homework, and doing GT stuff, and doing extra required things at school that other kids and teachers think are fun, but he just doesn't. DH brought home a book for DS the other day (8000 Things to Know or something like that, DS has always enjoyed encyclopedia type books) and he was really excited. Over the next couple of days, all we heard were the various facts and things he'd learned while perusing the book. It wasn't required reading and I saw DS really excited about it - and learning!! As opposed to all the stuff he has to do in/with/for school.

Too funny - DH made a very similar comment just the other day. We move around quite a bit and one of the main reasons we've been hesitant to do private school is because we're not sure we could always afford to keep him in wherever we may go. DH was in private school for a time and then went to public high school and he had such an awful transition experience, that he's adamant about not doing that to DS if we can help it.

This part of it makes me a little nervous. While I would most likely want to 'join' a group because I'd want DS to have some acquaintances/friends with a similar schooling experience, I'm the type that doesn't usually join groups. I like to make friends, meet people, and all that goes with it, but I'm also pretty content on my own too. I feel I'd have to find a pretty informal group if I were to go that route.

LOL, I think I've got this covered. My house seems to be one where kids are allowed to come inside to play from time to time. DS was hosting off and on, in and out of the house, all day yesterday, as evidenced by my empty cupboards and full to capacity dishwasher last night.


I hadn't really thought about approaching it this way, but it's a great idea.

Thank you so much to everyone. I really do appreciate all of the input and am taking it all in. I'm pretty sure I've broken some record for a marathon post and rambled on enough.

Thanks again!!

Better late than never......

I agree with letting your child "help" in deciding his curriculum. With my DS6, I said "Science" he chose Anatomy. One by one we went through the subjects until we were both satisfied. I believe that it is because of this process more than anything else that our transition to H/S has been so smooth.

Funny observation on the unschoolers. I've met a lot of unschoolers who after you talk to them for a while say "yes, we're unschoolers, but we do use curriculum x, y, z or hold to a certain schedule, etc)". I think many "unschoolers" in our community are really eclectic. Probably 75%+ of my kids day is spent unschooling. Pure unschooling could never be my style!

I saw a speaker at a local HS conference who unschooled her kids from birth through HS. One of the children sounded HG. She let go of all expectations of her kids going to college and jumping through any societal hoops. I personally could not do that! If one of my kids came to me seriously at 18 and said that they had an alternative to college, I'd listen and act accordingly. But at 8 & 5, they are on a road to college prep as far as I'm concerned. And if that means we're going to spend an hour or 2 working traditionally a day, so be it. Her kids actually turned out fine as productive adults (so kudos to their family), but definitely not my thing!

Kriston commented earlier about embracing the schooled community and I whole heartedly agree! Without our schooled friends, we would be in big trouble ourselves and may have chosen a different route. I thought we might get shunned in a neighborhood where most people LOVE our neighborhood school. Not at all. It also helps that both kids enjoy and play well with most kids and are pretty extroverted.

I'm sorry--I hope I didn't sound weird or pathetic or anything...I am feeling frazzled and distracted this week trying to deal at long distance with a very ill mother..I certainly wasn't trying to make you feel nervous, JDAx3! Just trying to give some sense of how things have evolved here for us over time, I guess, or something (more a snapshot than a warning if you see what I mean)...but truly, we love homeschooling, and I am every day so grateful for the opportunity to do this.

The unschoolers (the radicals, I mean) here where we live are a funny bunch, I must say. I know many, many homeschoolers here who believe that even leaving a book out on the coffee table that you think might interest your child is an act of coercion and is not respecting the child's freedom, which must at all times be total. This freedom must also include the freedom not to share toys, take turns, or be polite. It just seems like an abdication of parenting to me, let alone schooling (I of course do not say this out loud, and very likely these children will turn out just fine anyway!). (We certainly unschool some subjects, but don't "radically" unschool any!) But we have indeed had much more success lately in meeting some middle-of-the-road types, too. I also should point out that we are in a very rural area, where the demographic skews much older than average, so there are unique challenges here which will very likely not apply to you, JDAx3, so please don't be nervous!!

All will be well, and of course, it is a reversible decision, so that is a comfort, too. Best of luck to you as you ponder and plan!

Well, you can tell from the prose that my brain is still not firing on all cylinders, but I hope this helps a little, anyway...

peace
minnie

Oh not to worry, you didn't make me nervous . I've never been much of a 'joiner' for groups in general, not to say I'm anti-social. Many experiences I've had with established or structured groups, tended to be clique-y and I don't much care for it. I'm sure there are plenty of great groups out there, just as there are some not so great ones.

But no, you didn't make me nervous about that aspect of it, it's my general feeling.

We found a couple of REALLY great groups. We are secular eclectic homeschoolers, and we found some inclusive groups that work well for us. Don't have a bad feeling about it yet. Some areas have lots to offer. Some not so much. But I'm constantly amazed at how many groups and services for homeschoolers of all types are popping up.

Do you know any homeschoolers near you? You might start there.

It's also possible to start a group yourself if you can't find one that meets your needs. All you need is a small core group of people you like and an activity that a fair number of those people will attend regularly. Small and loyal is better than big and not dependable. And regular meeting would be key.

Just a thought...

I imagine this book from Joseph Renzulli would have a good learning style assessment.
http://www.amazon.com/Light-Your-Ch...mp;s=books&qid=1255575628&sr=8-1

Deborah Bell's Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling - really described my Dd well. She outlines different learning styles and suggests the "styles" of resources that would help in teaching.

It also helps, while you're at it, to determine your own learning style. I'm considerably different from Dd, so at times I find myself drifting toward materials *I* want to use, rather than what would work best for her.

I've frequently said that homeschooling parents usually learn *at least* as much as their children! LOL!

I wanted to add a note about the social aspect. Like I said before, we've just been homeschooling for about a month. I feel like it's a bit of a rollercoaster experience at the moment. One days it's the best decision we've ever made, and the next I'm questioning our choice to hs.

I am beginning to feel the isolation a bit. I am waiting to hear back from two homeschool groups, but I, too, am not a "join the group" kind of person. I'm totally doing that just for ds! I like to meet people and am very social myself, but joining a homeschool coop just isn't really my thing. It would be so great if I had friends who also decided to start homeschooling. LOL, not gonna happen!

Ds is fine with getting his social fix through extracurricular activities. I think I'm the one who's missing the social aspect of my job.

Also, another consideration is physical activity. Some days I feel like we are going stir crazy. I need to find someplace to go each day just so we get out of the house and get some exercise as well as interact with other people. Some days I find that hard to do. I feel bad taking ds to the park because there are no kids there! All activities that include other children take place after traditional school hours.

I'm sure this is something we'll work out in time. We're still so new at hs, but I thought I'd share something we are going through now. This lack of connection with other people has spurred our continued search for a good school placement for ds. I visited a Montessori school this morning, in fact. As great as the school is, I still doubt that it's a better fit than hs. I will continue to hs as long as I think it's the best fit academically for ds. I have to say, though, these challenges are nothing compared with what we were dealing with when ds was in his previous school. He's very happy!

Ok, I'm rambling again! Sorry!

Interesting...thanks for the mini-update about potential 'problems'. I've been doing some checking into local groups and such, and quite frankly, I'm frustrated. But not for the reasons one would think, . In trying to contact people about the groups, I've run into more computer-based hiccups than I care for, LOL. Join this group to find out more info, but the link doesn't work, blah, blah blah. I really have limited patience for these types of things... I'm sure I'll try again, but finding info has been proven challenging.

I was just discussing HSing with an acquaintance here who is considering HSing, as well. So, I'm thinking how nice it would be to have an acquaintance/friend (the kids are also know each other and get along OK) who was doing the same thing, thereby (maybe) eliminating the need to 'join' a group...

I don't know though, still more research to do.

It's still nice to join a group. They're usually cheap/free--costs often just pay to get the calendar of events out to members--and they offer you some activities like park days so that you're there when other kids are and off-beat athletics like skiing and archery. Or even classes offered mid-day at gyms, museums and art institutions. I'm not a joiner either, and we don't go to 95% of the activities, but I'm glad to know they're there if I want them.

Just a thought...

Do *try* to be patient about the link problems, though I sympathize with you there! Remember that these are cheap/free groups run by parent volunteers. Phone calls are often a better choice, I find, if that's an option available to you.

OMG!!! I totally agree about the technological difficulties! Apparently I am on a "pending" list for two groups, but it took me two weeks to figure that out! Still don't know when I'll be "approved." In the meantime, I think I'm going to take ds to a local community private school for some additional classes. They only have 15 students, 10 full time and 5 part time. They assist the middle and high schoolers with their virtual school in the mornings. Then in the afternoon they offer classes for those students as well as homeschool students. We are going to take the science and art classes just to give ds a chance to be with other kids. The only thing is, most of the kids are older than him. He'll probably prefer that, but I just can't seem to shake the idea that he needs to try to relate to kids a little closer to his age. Maye it'll never happen. Who knows? Anyway, I feel your pain with the computer stuff. What a pain. The ones I tried to join don't have phone numbers listed.

JDAx3-it's too bad we don't all live in the same area. We could create one heck of a support group and homeschool coop! I'm in central FL by the way, just in case. ; )

There's lots of empty space in New Mexico!..... We could create our own soviergn nation, GT craziness all day, everyday! At least then our kids would be surrounded by people that get it!!

ROFL!!!

Oh, I probably gave the impression that I'm a rigid ogre who gives no more than one chance for things, LOL. That's not it, and I'll try again, but I really do get frustrated with those things, especially after a couple hours of getting nowhere. After wading thru page after page of info/groups/curriculums, I feel as if I've accomplished nothing. Unfortunately, I'm not finding too many phone numbers, although I can't blame anyone. *I* certainly wouldn't put my phone number out there in general cyberspace.

LOL, at least you're pending...after 2-3 attempts at sending a message to someone and being re-directed to a link to verify this or activate that, my eye started to twitch and I could swear I heard the theme from The Twilight Zone somewhere in the distance. I decided to quit for the day - it's anybody's guess as to whether my message ever made it to the destination.

"GT craziness", love it.

I have a friend with HG+ kids on the east coast on a farm who keeps threatening to start a commune for us all! LOL!

And, no, JDAx3, you did not come off as a "rigid ogre." <Snort!> I do totally sympathize. I are a English major, after all, so computer glitches bug me. And patience in general is definitely not my particular virtue...



I just didn't want you to give up, even if they're not making things as easy as they could make them. As someone who is in a couple of homeschooling groups and who is not a "joiner," I wanted you to know that it might well be worth the trouble, even if it's a pain.

No worries.

This is a very common phenomenon for Gifted Families who start homeschooling. Lots of them plan on a very laid back start 'deschooling' I believe it's called, where there is no plan and no pressure to do anything 'school.' Obviously you are going to want to leave a very 'Almanacs' around, and plan a few trips to the library and field trips, but it may take several months of 'no school' for your son to rediscover that he does actually love to learn. This also has the advantage of giving you plenty of time to observe your son's learning style, favorite topics, talk to him about what he his interest are, and collect possible resources/materials for when you do start schooling again.

Doesn't that sound cool?
Grinity

All Hail, Queen Shari!

Yep, sure does.

I think we've arrived at our decision and are looking forward to it. I was telling someone yesterday that a great deal of my DSs school experience is akin to being stuck in traffic at a green light. He's ready to move forward, yet can't because he's in a class with 20 or so other kids. It's a situation that can't be helped because he's not necessarily ready to advance another grade, but he'd like to move at a faster pace and that's just not always possible for teachers/schools to accomodate. So, it seems the best alternative to personalize the experience and provide what he needs is to HS. There are other factors, of course, but this one is a big concern for DS.

Many thanks to everyone for your input, it's greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'll be back as I progress to curriculum selection and so on.

Hi JDAx3 - glad you're coming to a decision! We'll be here when you need support!

Dazey

Super-duper JDAx3 (reference to the Star Trek Character J'Adzia Dax perhaps?)

My son loved trivia books of all kinds. He seemed thirsty for knowledge but not ready for college level texts. Little did I know then that Middle School Level textbooks were just perfect for this stage. Start shopping for cheap used Middle school textbooks and let the fun begin! It really doesn't matter which one you pick. They are all superficial and colorful - perfect!

Smiles,
Grinity-ear-to-ear!

ColinsMum! ,

I love it! What a great suggestion. I think we should start a thread of people who asked their children this question and see the responses. I think we would all learn a lot about they way our children learn and how they may be alike in some ways and so different in others. We may even find out some good information to share with their teachers for those not being hsed. Great idea ColinsMum!

Breakaway4