Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy AAAGGGHHH

I am the mother of a DS6 who is at the edge. When my ds entered Kindergarten, it was like a bull in a china shop. He hit, kicked, threw, cried, screamed, and ran! We started testing him for EVERYTHING. ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, CRAZY, as well as others. We changed his diet, his sleep patterns, his life. The minute that they told us they were going to start suspending my 5 year old, I rebelled! I immediately took him out and changed his school. He attended pre-school (that had an advanced curriculum) for 1 1/2 years without huge issues. I am a teacher, so I hauled him across town with me to a new Kindergarten. His new teacher did a lot for him and his behavior improved. I was told by our GATE specialist he may be gifted. I started researching. It sounded like his biography. I informed my boss and they subject accelerated him. Now in 1st grade, the impulsivity and poor behavior choices are back. He had a BAD day last week and now the judgment has returned. Same comments, new school. I got called in to my principal's office to talk about his behavior. She pulled out a picture of a pirate ship he drew to show his potential anger issues (there were swords in the pirates' hands and one pirate drew blood. I asked the teacher what they were supposed to be drawing and she said a ship.) My friend pointed out to me, upon seeing the picture, that he had indeed drawn a ship, but he had drawn it as a cross section showing each room inside the ship. He is a YOUNG 1st grader. He turned 6 in August, but he is tops in reading and math in his class. He is being labeled, and I feel HOPELESS. Is there anyone out there that can relate?

So sorry, I can definitely relate. I did forsee DS5 acting out after he was placed in first grade this year because he had some acting out the year before in a pre-school setting where he was not academically challenged. But I still was hopeful he would do okay because for most of last year he was in a Montessori school and his behavior was good and not an issue. Have they done actual testing on your DS6? If so, and if the testing reflects that he is gifted, I would suggest providing them some information about how gifted children can act out when they are not academically challenged. If you haven't done testing I would suggest you do. Your district can do this. I did outside testing before school started because I knew it would take a while and I didn't think K would be a good fit. Having the scores and evaluation has been helpful. It doesn't fix everything but it puts it in writing just how different he is and what his needs are. For the record, drawing a pirate ship is clearly not acting out and not evidence of anger issues. He completed the task. I am a school social worker so I am obviously not opposed to counseling, maybe he would benefit from seeing a school counselor (not to address his supposed anger issues) to address dealing with these changes and being the way he is. I think a lot of gifted children would benefit from it. My DS5 is in a group at school with some new kids, and I am thinking of recommending that he has individual as well. He is just starting to realize more and more how different he is and I think that is really confusing for these kids. Good luck, and there is hope. I feel your pain because I felt quite hopeless last week. But today is looking up.

Woohoo!!! I'm not alone He just started testing last week at the University. Our district won't test him until he turns 7 which is 10 months away. He has seen the counselor and is being put into a group. I asked for this last year, but he wasn't acting out so they just kind of let it go. It is SO frustrating. They don't see the good in him, yet we see the wonderful in him. What's not to love about a 6 year old who asks me what I dreamt about and then tells me he dreamt about the past and how it was before we had everything that we have today. Thank you for making me feel better!

Um... You mean it ISN'T normal for a little boy to draw battles with swords and blood?!? I think someone forgot to tell Wolf that. I also have never met a 5-6 year old kid, boys especially, that don't have impulsivity issues every so often.

I think counseling just to help him deal with being who he is will probably help. I would avoid allowing the school to label him. If he is great at home and it is only school where there is an issue, it sounds like it is a school problem not a kid problem.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I can relate too.

We are at our second school with my 4 year old who is in Kindergarten. Last year he got labeled the "bad" kid really early and was watched so closely that even when he took a breath wrong they were calling me to come get him.

This year his teacher sends notes home everyday about his behavior. He jumps around the classroom, won't listen, won't focus and on and on.

I can't believe that they say that he's angry because of his pirate ship!!! I think it was a very creative thing to do.

JMHO but I think the pirate ship with swords and blood issue is more to do with politically correct issues. A few years ago I remember a story about a child in 1st or 2nd grade that was to be suspended because he drew a person (stick figure) with a gun. School districts are running scared about any portrayal of violent acts which includes simple typical drawings that a lot of little kids produce but more so little boys.

A friend's son wrote an essay about what he wanted for his 10th birthday. He wanted a muzzle loader and then wanted to hunt his first deer. Well, the teacher was newly hired out of NYC and she went overboard, said he needed counseling, etc. She ended up apologizing to the family.

Your son sounds very special and you should encourage his wonderful creativity. It might also be a good time to talk about how he is different from most other people.

Ha, Austin--she should just fit right in there!

Umm, crain, did he have any actual anger issues, or was it just the picture? Sounds like a *slight* overreaction on the teacher's part!

We deal with very real anger issues with our DS7 all the time, and most of it is simply frustration about the other kids not understanding him. He's the weird kid, and he's bored with everything they do at school, and he's a perfectionist, and the world just doesn't quite fit. With a large vocabulary and a short fuse, it makes for interesting times.

Probably about half the parents of all the 5-7 yr olds on here

He had a major melt-down today - turned out he had big frustrations with trying to get his ideas down on paper when his hand won't work fast enough and he made 10 mistakes - (but who's counting). I tried the usual everyone makes mistakes - major tantrum - eh? when he calmed down he went on to explain that no-one else in the class made mistakes. He's soaking in the bath now to chill out - then DH and I are going to go over the everyone makes mistakes thing - again.

I know its not as bad as it used to be but I still feel like the only parent to walk into class and get pulled aside about something but I have to say that since he was accelerated it made a huuuuge difference to his behavior and I do think that since being with the older kids it has taught him a lot about how to behave like they do, he acts out a lot less because a) he can see that it is not what they do and b)he doesn't get the negative attention he used to get from the other teachers or kids and c) most importantly he is being challenged (doesn't always like it but...)

His previous school wanted to label him (very keen on Autistic) insisted he be tested then refused to believe he was gifted. Testing was the best thing for us (oh and a change of school) and yes he still has a label but at least it's the right one.

Hugs - Chocolate and wine usually works for me...

I just was called to go to DS6's new private gifted school for an impulse issue. I can totally relate.....