Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Can this be right?

I don't believe in use it or loose it - but I used to believe in 'public education.'

I was blessed to sit in a Deb Ruf lecture a few years back where she repeated: 'Do not put your child's needs 2nd to your social ideals' and 'your child is not a social experiment!' about 12 times. I really needed to hear that! She suggested that we egalitarian-types donate our time to help the kids in those schools, or work for change any way we can, but find schools were our children can get their needs met.

I found that really useful. And of course when I start feeling that I don't want my son subjected to all that social striving, I am also feeling that 'those people wouldn't like me anyways.' It was probably worth the 2 years of private school tuition to figure out that I didn't really like them-actually.

Smiles,
Grinity

I can understand the sentiment. I think children do tend to be kept waiting a long time these days, before they get to really participate in the world. Perhaps part of the very prolonged teenage phase that seems to be common.

I've calmed down a bit since earlier in the week - curse that never-to-be-conquered (apparently) tendency to panic. No more fears about brain degeneration - am now confident that the test/school situation is screwy.

Yup, I think I'm here too. Now for the hard part - finding a "least-worst" school. We've always been prepared to move, if necessary, but even so there aren't a lot of stand out options. I'm pretty certain that the only way we'd get a good fit is home schooling (I NEVER would have believed the day would come that I would say that), but it's not an affordable option.

It will be so wonderful to some day be very old and have this behind me.

re: unlearning.

You know, I have a similar experience with DD. When she was 4 she could do simple sums in her head. But last year (5 yr old) she insisted that she needed the abacus, like in the school, and you could see trying to do the sum in her head while at the same time counting with the abacus like she was told in the school. She got mad at me because I told her not to use the abacus

In general, I think she has lost completely her self-confidence and thinks everything is so difficult.

I think that's what we've got happening too, at least in part.

I had a talk with the psychologist, who is as mystified as we are. I'm not sure if this makes me feel better (for not feeling inadequate on my own) or worse (because she doesn't have a three-step solution). We're taking him to see her again next week to see if she can get some info.

She's also suggested I go to a parent seminar next month. I think I've done enough reading to be pretty up to speed with most of the sessions, but she suggests I use it as an opportunity to get specific info out of the presenters in between times. And I'd be interested in hearing Miraca Gross in person, having read so much of her stuff.

DS7, my insanity-inducing child, took a bag of school uniforms for show and tell. Uniforms from the magnet school that we didn't go to in the end because of his agony of misery at the idea.